Happiness is not possible without healthy relationships and communication with people around you (unless you dream of being a hermit of course.) Having friends or being able to make friends easily can make the biggest difference when you move to a different city or country, when you take a new job or when you go through any change in your life.
Do you sometimes feel that you just do not meet the right people? Maybe the people around you are difficult, or negative, or they don’t like you. Maybe you just cannot find a common thread with them. You are a great person but you don’t feel in balance with the people around you.
I know that most of us felt this way at one point in life or another. I know I did. This is a difficult situation to be in but I have found that sometimes it was my fault. There are a few traits that can prevent us from making any friends at all.
Have you watched the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days”? If you haven’t then this is a funny romantic comedy where a girl (a journalist) is given a task to write an article on how to lose a guy in 10 days. The guy that she picks was challenged by his friends to make his next relationship last no matter what. Here we go, she does the most insane things to get rid of him but he is still with her. Of course, the movie has a happy ending and they realize that they were meant to be together…
I told you about the movie because sometimes we behave like that girl from the movie. We do everything to “repel” people around us but unfortunately these people do not want to stick to us like the guy from the movie. I am going to give you 6 rules to live by if you want to get rid of all your friends and never get any new ones.
- Be judgmental. Make sure that you judge people from the very first second that you see them. Look at their race, weight, religion, beliefs, behavior, looks and make immediate judgments based on that information. After all, you know better what a true life really is.
- Preach and behave like you know all the answers (even if you don’t.) If you have something on your mind, make sure to say that. You have more experience and knowledge than anybody else on this planet, never forget this! You have the right to give advice to anybody (especially when they are not asking for it) and to let everyone know that your way of living (working, raising kids etc.) is the only way.
- Be negative. Make sure that you watch news all the time and keep a record of the most negative news. Whenever you have a couple of free minutes let everyone know about bad problems with politics, about global warming and other environmental disasters. Don’t forget to mention to your friend who is flying away for a vacation about the recent plane crash and how many people died there. If you can’t find any bad news to share then you can give your critique of your friend’s latest business idea (he or she must know that it will be a complete failure) or mention that your other friend looks terrible after gaining a few pounds (even if he or she hasn’t, they will still be more mindful about their eating next time. You are doing them a favor after all.)
- Be irresponsible. If your friends are having a party at 6:00 then you can be late. Don’t bother to bring any refreshments or snacks (even if they asked you) because you are too busy to worry about those things. Don’t bother to call your friends or colleagues if you are running late or if you can’t come to a meeting. You can cancel any appointment 10 minutes after you were supposed to be there because everyone should consider your busy schedule.
- Be disrespectful. If you smoke, please make sure that you smoke around your friends freely even if they do not smoke. If you have dogs, then let them run free on the beaches and in any public places, bark and jump on people passing by. After all, if they don’t annoy you then there is no way that they could annoy anyone else. Talk loud at the movies and laugh in the libraries. You have the right to do whatever you want to wherever you want to.
- Be a toxic person. A toxic person never says thank you, always looks for ways to argue, never helps anybody and generally releases toxic fumer like an old car without emission controls. You can find more signs of a toxic person in a great article by Dragos Roua 13 Tips to Avoid being a toxic person.
I hope you’ve grasped the irony in the rules above
I want you to be in balance with the people around you. I want all those people to appreciate you for who you are and to see the great person you are.
I want you to be happy in your social environment and I want that environment to be supportive, friendly and positive.
Do you have your own rules that help you make friends and maintain friendships over the years? Please share them in the comments.