Comments on: The Myth of Personal Independence. Are You Falling for It? http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/ Simple balance for busy people Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:24:32 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jane Rochelle http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-1611 Jane Rochelle Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:52:15 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-1611 Thanks Anastasiya, When I visited a friend in Spain recently, I was moved by the number of families I saw strolling together on the sidewalks...grandparents, parents, grandchildren, all together. They weren't on their way anywhere, just spending time together, talking, laughing, loving, supporting. When my friend, who lives there in Spain is ill, her sister travels several hours to stay with her, and nurse her back to health. How beautiful. We have so much to learn from each other! Thank you for reminding me to care for the people I care about. Thanks Anastasiya,
When I visited a friend in Spain recently, I was moved by the number of families I saw strolling together on the sidewalks…grandparents, parents, grandchildren, all together. They weren’t on their way anywhere, just spending time together, talking, laughing, loving, supporting. When my friend, who lives there in Spain is ill, her sister travels several hours to stay with her, and nurse her back to health. How beautiful. We have so much to learn from each other!
Thank you for reminding me to care for the people I care about.

]]> By: Anastasiya http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-1232 Anastasiya Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:10:01 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-1232 Thank you very much for notifying me about it. I'll check into it right away (I was wondering why poll results weren't changing for a while. Now I know why :-)) Thank you very much for notifying me about it. I’ll check into it right away (I was wondering why poll results weren’t changing for a while. Now I know why :-) )

]]> By: Simone http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-1231 Simone Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:44:44 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-1231 Hiya, sorry to go off the point here. Just wanted to mention that your Balance In Me Poll does not seem to be working... after voting, the number of voters was not updated. Thought you might want to know. Hiya, sorry to go off the point here. Just wanted to mention that your Balance In Me Poll does not seem to be working… after voting, the number of voters was not updated. Thought you might want to know.

]]> By: Krishna http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-1082 Krishna Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:58:49 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-1082 Amen to that. I can't imagine NOT living with my parents if I am in the city, that would be quite insulting and I wouldn't hear the end of it :-). Enjoying stirring a bit of "culture shock" here :-). Amen to that. I can’t imagine NOT living with my parents if I am in the city, that would be quite insulting and I wouldn’t hear the end of it :-) . Enjoying stirring a bit of “culture shock” here :-) .

]]> By: Krishna http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-1080 Krishna Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:46:47 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-1080 Hi Anastasiya, Belated congrats on your anniversary. This post has been very powerful for me. It has given me a chance to reflect on what independence actually is. I would personally value mental and emotional independence over material independence. Independent thinking, the ability to take various inputs - peer pressure, societal norms, media, marketing - and still do what is best by myself and my loved ones. Being emotionally independent, not allowing any of these factors to emotionally black mail me into "going with the flow". Retaining the option to spend a day contemplating and meditating rather than going out to the games. Being open with the fact that family and close friends come high up in my list of priorities when compared to anything else, well, this is the sort of independence I value. Material independence, having your own pad, car and the other thing to me seems less important that retaining your internal independence. In fact, from an Indian background, I am always used to thinking of material resources as shared by the extended family unit. Not just the partner but parents on both sides and elders in the family :-). The concept of individual property ownership within a family is somewhat alien to me. By that yardstick, Anastasiya, you are more independent than many of us :-). To take the decision to put your young family as the top priority shows you and your partner are independent thinkers and that is great inspiration. Cheers, Krishna Hi Anastasiya,

Belated congrats on your anniversary. This post has been very powerful for me. It has given me a chance to reflect on what independence actually is.

I would personally value mental and emotional independence over material independence. Independent thinking, the ability to take various inputs – peer pressure, societal norms, media, marketing – and still do what is best by myself and my loved ones. Being emotionally independent, not allowing any of these factors to emotionally black mail me into “going with the flow”.

Retaining the option to spend a day contemplating and meditating rather than going out to the games. Being open with the fact that family and close friends come high up in my list of priorities when compared to anything else, well, this is the sort of independence I value.

Material independence, having your own pad, car and the other thing to me seems less important that retaining your internal independence. In fact, from an Indian background, I am always used to thinking of material resources as shared by the extended family unit. Not just the partner but parents on both sides and elders in the family :-) . The concept of individual property ownership within a family is somewhat alien to me.

By that yardstick, Anastasiya, you are more independent than many of us :-) . To take the decision to put your young family as the top priority shows you and your partner are independent thinkers and that is great inspiration.

Cheers,
Krishna

]]> By: Anastasiya http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-825 Anastasiya Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:28:57 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-825 I am trying to keep a 50/50 balance between giving and receiving :-) I feel great doing so :-) I am trying to keep a 50/50 balance between giving and receiving :-) I feel great doing so :-)

]]> By: Arvind Devalia http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-820 Arvind Devalia Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:12:13 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-820 Thanks Anastasiya - I do understand you completely. The challenge I have and I guess something that you have to be aware of is to be open much more to receiving! So often in the past I have put myself second and gone out of my way to "help" others. Afterwards I felt resentment, not so much as I felt I was not appreciated or I felt I was being taken advantage of, but I began to wonder what it was about me that was making me do these things for others. Now I do check in with myself and put myself first in the nicest possible way:-) Thanks for an excellent post - one yuor best ever. Much more to come I am sure. Thanks Anastasiya – I do understand you completely.

The challenge I have and I guess something that you have to be aware of is to be open much more to receiving!

So often in the past I have put myself second and gone out of my way to “help” others. Afterwards I felt resentment, not so much as I felt I was not appreciated or I felt I was being taken advantage of, but I began to wonder what it was about me that was making me do these things for others.

Now I do check in with myself and put myself first in the nicest possible way:-)

Thanks for an excellent post – one yuor best ever. Much more to come I am sure.

]]> By: Anastasiya http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-817 Anastasiya Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:39:00 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-817 Thank you Arvind for your comment. I think that you understand me better than anybody else in this discussion just because our backgrounds are similar in a way. I also love helping people and supporting them. I find much more joy in doing something for others than I do for myself. I see happiness as a feeling when I can help people around me and bring light and joy into their worlds. If somebody wants to help me then I'll be glad to accept their support because I know that it will make them happy too :-) Thank you Arvind for your comment. I think that you understand me better than anybody else in this discussion just because our backgrounds are similar in a way. I also love helping people and supporting them. I find much more joy in doing something for others than I do for myself. I see happiness as a feeling when I can help people around me and bring light and joy into their worlds. If somebody wants to help me then I’ll be glad to accept their support because I know that it will make them happy too :-)

]]> By: Anastasiya http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-816 Anastasiya Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:34:42 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-816 Thank you Sarah for this discussion :-) I think it added a lot to the post and you showed a different opinion about independence and attitude to life in general. We have a saying in Ukraine that can be translated like "The truth is born in the argument." I do not support arguments but a healthy debate definitely lets you think outside of the box:-) Hope to see you again on my blog and hear your thoughts on other topics. By the way, Vlada is a Russian name. It means "the one who owns". I am glad you liked it :-) Thank you Sarah for this discussion :-) I think it added a lot to the post and you showed a different opinion about independence and attitude to life in general. We have a saying in Ukraine that can be translated like “The truth is born in the argument.” I do not support arguments but a healthy debate definitely lets you think outside of the box:-)
Hope to see you again on my blog and hear your thoughts on other topics.
By the way, Vlada is a Russian name. It means “the one who owns”. I am glad you liked it :-)

]]> By: Anastasiya http://balanceinme.com/most-popular/the-myth-of-personal-independence-are-you-falling-for-it/comment-page-1/#comment-815 Anastasiya Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:22:53 +0000 http://balanceinme.com/?p=680#comment-815 Thank you so much for congratulations Jai Kai :-) Thank you so much for congratulations Jai Kai :-)

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