Tess Marshall

Three years ago I moved to the US not quite comprehending that living here will depend on my ability to drive. I drove a few times in Ukraine (my native country) but I was never an independent driver. When the plane landed and my in-laws picked all of us up we drove down a huge 5-lane interstate with a 70mph speed limit in rush hour. I was terrified.

Thankfully my husband was very patient with me while teaching me how to drive. In Ukraine I drove a tiny VW Rabbit and in the US I had to get used to a ginormous Toyota 4Runner (at least that’s how it seemed to me back then.) I was terrified of getting out on the road in this huge tank that I felt I had no control of. And most importantly I was afraid of other cars on the road (every time a jacked up Ford F-350 flew by I felt my heart sink into my heels.) I couldn’t even imagine taking my girls (the most precious cargo) anywhere in the car by myself.

It took me two years to start driving independently. Some might call me a slow learner but it was the time I needed to overcome my fear and become comfortable behind the wheel of a car.

Do you have fears that you have to overcome?

Some of our fears are obvious (like mine) but others can disguise themselves as excuses, traditions, habits and many other things. If I hadn’t learned to drive a car then I obviously couldn’t have survived normally in the US (unless my husband and I struck oil and we could hire a private chauffeur to take me anywhere.) I had no choice but overcome this fear.

Overcoming some fears is not imperative to our survival though (like a fear of public speaking – the number 1 fear or a fear of starting your own business.) However living with those fears robs us of the possibilities that we are capable of, it robs of realizing our potential and living a bold and fulfilling life.

A friend of mine, Tess Marshall of The Bold Life, had her share of fears in life. As a personal coach and therapist she decided to put her knowledge and experience into one extensive e-course Take Your Fear and Shove It that could help anyone overcome their fears (no matter how obvious or hidden they are.) I wanted to invite her here, to Balance In Me, to share her most valuable advice about conquering fears and living a bold and bright life.

1. Tess, what was the biggest fear that you managed to overcome? How did you do it?

My dad had an 8th grade education and my mom a 6th grade. My nine siblings and I grew up on a farm. Going to college wasn’t discussed as a possibility, ever. I got married when I was 17 and pregnant, was the mom to 4 little girls by age 22.

The priest at our church saw something in me nobody else had before. He suggested that I attend the local college when the twins went to kindergarten. I was 27 by that time and I was so terrified that he went with me and helped me sign up for my first two classes, Speed Reading and How to Study.

It took me nine years to finish by taking a couple classes each semester while raising the girls! I then went on to get my master’s degree in counseling psychology and two years after graduation, as a therapist began building my private practice.

That one decision to overcome the fear of not being capable to attend college was beyond life-changing!

2. Why did you decide to create a course about Fear? Why do people need it?

Everyone is afraid, that’s normal. However due to our economic times, more people than ever, fear the future, fear losing a job or never finding one. The list goes on.
In order to change ourselves, believe in our future again, and make the world a better place – we have to get over our fears and use our talents and gifts. It’s imperative! Instead of asking, “When will things change?” we need to ask, “When will I change so I can become part of the solution?”

The first change we can make is learning to overcome fear!

3. A lot of people don’t think that they have fears in life. Do you have a quick method to identify “hidden” fears that sabotage happy and bold living?

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have fear. They are either subconscious or they don’t want to admit or talk about them. We’re wired for fear, it’s genetic.

4. Tess, can you share your favorite technique of fighting fear in life?

When I fight my fear I don’t get anywhere. It’s like denying it. We become fearful by identifying with our negative thoughts. When you reexamine your beliefs to see where the thought is coming from it keeps you from staying stuck in action and fear.

I have two core beliefs and most of my fears fall under one or another. They both come from being the sixth child in a family of ten children. One is, “I’m going to be left behind” and the other is “There’s not enough for me.” Makes sense, doesn’t it?

As soon as I can identify which belief my fear is coming from, my fear has lost some of its power over me. I’m a creative person, my favorite technique is to write down my fear with my dominant hand and ask a question about it. Then I switch my pen in my non-dominant hand and answer the question with the first thing that comes to mind. (It’s sloppy looking, like that of a child’s). The answer is usually very powerful.

The exercise sounds simple enough but most people won’t do it. On some level it scares them, as if they fear the answer.

I have a morning routine that consists of many exercises. I describe each exercise I do in, Take Your Fear and Shove It!

The course has over 100 different techniques and action steps to overcome fear. If you don’t like one, you can try another. It’s set up so you can refer back to it again and again.

5. How can you keep fears from coming back into your life?

Once you work through a particular fear and it comes back again, you can identify it and remind yourself that you’ve already dealt with it. Then simply breathe through the fear.

On the other hand think of an iceberg. The ice you see above the water is your conscious mind. The ice you can’t see hidden under the water, is your subconscious fear. It runs deeper than you think. It means you have more work to do around that particular fear.

Helen Keller said,

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature…. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

None of us are ever safe. We create the concept of it and believe it in order to feel safe. Safety is a superstition or an illusion. What is real is uncertainty. What is real is the unknown.

We have no idea what the next minute, hour, day or year will bring. Somebody will get in an accident, get sick or die. Somebody will lose a job or a lover. Anything can happen. A superstition of safety allows us to function in our world.

Humans like to live in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. I like to live in the present moment as much as possible. Like Helen Keller, I would rather have my life be a daring adventure rather than nothing!

What fears are you trying to overcome? Ask your questions and Tess and I will be happy to answer them.

And don’t forget to find out more about Take Your Fear and Shove It! It’s a great course and I wish I had it when I was learning to drive a car Maybe it could have cut my learning period to normal two months instead of two years.

P.S. The BalanceInMe 2011 Survey is till on. Please click here to share your life balance experience in 2011 and download a free 10-minute Balance Workout.

Did you ever ask yourself a hard question? Something beyond “What am I going to have for supper?” or “How can I get a promotion at work?”

I’ve been in a situation before when a long-term relationship wasn’t working out and the only question on my mind was “Why are relationships so hard?”

Another time my plans were ruined and I felt completely helpless. My question then was “Does everything happen for a reason? Because I definitely don’t see any reason for THIS.”

And sometimes I read news headlines or simply hear a heart-breaking story that makes me wonder “Why is there suffering in the world?”

Did you ever ask yourself questions like that?

About a month ago I got an email from Lori Deschene from Tiny Buddha asking if I would like to review her book Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions. I am usually very picky about the books that I agree to review but this one was a no-brainer. I’ve been following Tiny Buddha for about 2 years now and my posts were featured there twice (click here and here to read them.) Of course I was excited about reading Lori’s book and actually finding answers to the questions mentioned above.

The book exceeded all my expectations. From the first sentences you get completely absorbed into smooth flow of Lori’s writing and it only gets better as you travel from one page to the next one. The book is interwoven with personal experiences from Lori’s life, age-old wisdom, tweets from Lori’s followers and practical tips (and you know that I am all about practical advice.) I simply loved it!

I asked Lori to answer several questions about life balance and her book. Read the interview and find out how you can win a free copy of Lori’s book.

1. In your book you share universal wisdom and your personal life experiences when answering life’s hardest questions. What was the most difficult answer for you to learn personally?

The most challenging question for me has always been how to let go of pain. The exact question in my book is, “Why is there suffering in the world?” However, that section explores all aspects of pain—why we resist it, how that can create even more pain, why we sometimes feel ashamed of it, and how accepting and learning from it can make a positive difference in the world.

I’ve had some incredibly low lows in my lifetime. For years I exacerbated my pain by clinging to negative stories and expecting the worst in everyone and everything. I let my pain define me for most of my teens and twenties, and for a while, I felt hesitant to change. That identity became comforting to me.

I don’t know why there’s suffering in the world, but I do know that a lot of good can come from pain if we’re willing to learn, grow, recycle our hurts to help other people, and in doing so, find a sense of peace and empowerment in the present moment.

That doesn’t mean every moment will feel peaceful and empowering. I still hurt at times, as we all will all through our lives. But I have a different perspective now, and as a result, I’m less frequently the cause of my pain.

2. How do you think people can use advice from your book to improve their lives?

The book explores the universal challenges that are relevant to all of us. It includes questions about letting go of pain, finding meaning in life, choosing happiness, creating positive change, maintaining healthy relationships, living life to the fullest, and accepting uncertainty.

Because I shaped Tiny Buddha around a wide range of responses to these questions (from Twitter followers who tweeted their answers) it offers a broad exploration of these topics and provides various empowering perspectives.

Tiny Buddha also includes practical, concrete action steps relevant to the different themes to help readers create meaning, happiness, fulfillment, and peace in their relationships, one moment at a time.

It’s not a book of concrete answers; it’s a book of possibilities, often supported by scientific, psychological, and sociological research. I also shared my own experiences in learning to answer these questions for myself, in hopes of helping readers do the same thing: identify and utilize the answers that make sense to them individually.

3. One of the great things about your book (in my opinion) is that you used tweets from your Twitter followers to broaden each and every answer in your book. In real life though social media can be quite distracting and can keep us from being present. How do you balance social media with your everyday meaningful life?

When I first got on Twitter, I often tweeted all through the day from my personal account, while frequently updating my Facebook page and engaging with other people on theirs. That quickly felt overwhelming, as I felt a constant need to monitor the stream and stay involved.

Over time, I’ve become far less immersed in social media. I updated the Tiny Buddha accounts 2–4 times each week day, and I tweet from my personal account every few days. I’m on my personal Facebook page a little more often, but I don’t feel tied to social media, as I once did.

One thing that helps me is that I don’t update my accounts from my phone. Though I now have Internet access on there (I held out for a while!) it’s not a smart phone, which makes it a pretty slow connection. Because it’s not as convenient, I just don’t do it, and I know that contributes to my overall well-being.

Since I work from home on my computer, I would far prefer to simply disconnect when I’m out. That’s not to say I think everyone should do this. I think we all need to identify what level of engagement and disconnection contributes to our overall well-being, and then honor what we know to be true.

4. I would love to ask you one more Hard Life Question. How do you live your life in balance?

That is a hard one! I think what makes it hard is that it’s so much easier to recognize what balance looks like than it is to honor that with consistency.

So the first part of my answer is what balance looks like for me. It’s a lot like that essay Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. I need to “learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”

Essentially, I need to be sure I don’t get too wrapped up in any one part of my life—as if my work defines me, or my relationships defines me, or my hobbies define me—and I need to remember that self-care is a priority, not a luxury.

The second part is how I honor those things with consistency, and the answer is: I don’t always do that. There are times when I do get a little caught up in one part of my life, and then I start to feel off-balance. Where I feel I’ve made massive improvements is that I now do this far less often than I used to.

I think accepting that we’ll stumble occasionally but knowing we’re improving over time is the key to emotional balance. And ultimately, that’s what helps us get back on track when we’ve lost our way.

Thank you Lori!

Two readers of BalanceInMe can win a free hard-cover copy of the book Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

Just leave a comment here saying What Life’s Hard Question you are trying to answer. I will announce the winner on Tuesday, Dec 27th.

Keep it balanced!

Winners of the book Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions are comment #11 – Sara L and comment #20 – Marta. (The winners were picked using a random number generator.) Congratulations!

Thanks to everyone who shared their questions and thoughts on this post. Since now I know your questions I will try my best to find answers for them and share those answers on Balance In Me. Thank you for being part of this balanced community!

BTW, comments are now closed on this post.

Can you stay balanced if you hate what you do every day? Of course not, no matter how much effort you put into balancing your lifestyle.

One of the key aspects of balanced living is finding your passion and following it every day. Some people might be lucky to have an occupation that they are passionate about; others can have a hobby-passion that brightens every day. No matter how you choose to follow your passion, one thing stays the same – you must have passion in your life.

When you set your sail towards passionate living you first face the biggest challenge “What is my passion?” Have you ever asked yourself this question? I had trouble finding an answer to this question myself for a while and then miraculously the idea of Balance In Me popped up in my head. 3 ½ years later I am still enjoying my hobby-passion and I know that this blog contributes to my personal life balance.

Today I invited a career coach and a talented blogger Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom to share her best advice about passionate living. Barrie wrote a fabulous and extremely helpful course Discover Your Passion that already helped hundreds of people to ignite a passion spark in their lives.

Please feel free to ask Barrie any questions in the comments below. Also, if you are not satisfied with your current job or you are just looking for a new occupation then take a look at 34 questions to prepare for the work you love in the homework section.

1. Barrie, one of the key ingredients of life balance is following your heart and living with passion. If you completely do not know what your passion is, where can you start?

A great place to start is by allowing yourself the time and space for self-exploration and self-discovery. Sometimes we are so caught up in the busy-ness of life or in fulfilling expectations for ourselves, that we lose touch with who we are and what we are deeply longing for. Some of the specifics for that self-discovery work could include taking some self-assessments (ie: personality, career, values, skills, etc.); reflecting on some specific questions about what makes you happy and fulfilled and what drains your energy; and also looking at why you might be holding yourself back from your passion with limiting beliefs and fears. I cover all of this extensively in my Discover Your Passion course.

2. Do you think that everyone can (and should) use their passion to make their living? Where is the fine line of balance between financial needs and passion?

I think everyone will find more joy and fulfillment in daily life if they at least enjoy their work. Feeling passionate about it is even better. Most of us spend a third of our life at work, so why would we want to squander that precious time doing something we hate? I think it is worth giving up a lot of material things in order to be happy with your career. However, you do have to survive, and sometimes circumstances require us to work in jobs we don’t like. I would do everything in my power to change those circumstances – and to make sure that the rest of my time is spent joyfully. If you can’t have passion in work, then have it in life.

3. A lot of people find it difficult to devote time to their passions or to their personal interests (after all, all of us have plenty of things to do every day.) How can one stop procrastinating and start making time for this passion?

We fill our lives with so many things that don’t fulfill our passions. It’s a matter of prioritizing and recognizing that things we think are so very important aren’t really that important after all. For the most part, it is relationships, great experiences, and meaningful work that are the most fulfilling and bring us sustainable happiness. If you prioritize those, and then create the rest of your life around those, you won’t have to procrastinate or “find time” for passionate living. Will that require some uncomfortable change or sacrifices? Probably. But the pay-off is huge in the long-run.

4. What are the signs that it is time to change your career? As a career coach with years of experience, what first steps can you advice to take to change the occupation or start your own business? How can one transition while still satisfying all of his/her financial needs?

• When you start to dread going to work.
• When you feel bored most of the time.
• When you feel your integrity is compromised.
• When you feel that the work isn’t a reflection of who you are.
• When you feel restless and empty, but you’re not quite sure why.

The first steps I’d advise anyone to take is to do the self-discovery work I mentioned above. Really defining and clarifying your vision of an ideal work situation will serve as a blueprint for you as you begin a job search or think about starting a business. That transition can be tricky, but you can start doing the work of self-discovery in your off-hours. You will have to prioritize it, and let some other things go during this time.

• If you are trying to build a business, you may need to find ways to work part-time or cut back your hours while growing the business.
• You may need to start saving money so you can quit your job in order to start the business.
• You may need to simplify your lifestyle, sell some things, or even take out a business loan.
• You may need to change your entire perspective on how you and your family live.
• Do you really have to have two cars, a big house, etc.? You can live very simply and be really happy. Tim Ferriss’s book The 4-Hour Work Week has some fantastic specific tips on how to back out of your current job to start working for yourself.

5. Finally, what is one piece of advice that you would love to pass on to as many people as possible? I’m sure as a coach you hear a certain question or notice a certain pattern in a lot of your clients. What is the most important change that will help people live in balance, with passion and boldness?

Do not define your life by fear. Fear is what holds most people back from going for their passion or even looking for it. Most of our fears are just projections into the future – what if ’s. You have this one life, a relatively short span of time on this beautiful Earth. Make the most of it. Create it the way you want it and don’t look back!

Thank you Barrie!

Homework

Feel free to ask Barrie any questions that you have about changing careers or finding your passion.

If you are looking for a new career then make some time to answer these questions (the questions were originally posted by Barrie Davenport on her blog)

1. On a 1-10 scale, with 10 being total passion and fulfillment and 1 being complete job dissatisfaction, how would you rate your current job?
2. What elements of your current job do you enjoy and would you want to keep in any future career? List everything you can think of, including your commute time, the physical environment, the people you work with, etc.
3. What elements of your current job would you wish never to have again in any future job?
4. Do you know or have an inkling about the kind of work that would excite and fulfill you?
5. If so, why have you not pursued this work or found a career in it?
6. If not, would you be willing and able to invest a few hours a week into research and self-discovery to find the type of work that would excite you?
7. Do you currently live within your financial means and have a cushion of savings?
8. If not, would you be willing to adjust your lifestyle and spending habits to live within your means and/or save money?
9. If so, what elements of your current lifestyle are more important to you than job satisfaction. List everything that trumps job satisfaction for you (ie: children’s education, taking care of elderly parents, living in a particular neighborhood or house).
10. Would you be willing to downsize your home for a job you love?
11. Would you be willing to move to another city for a job you love?
12. Would you be willing to disappoint or upset someone close to you to change careers for a job you love?
13. Is there anything you could change about your current job that would make it more exciting and fulfilling?
14. What are the possible consequences of asking for change at your current job? Could you live with those consequences?
15. If you were to lose your current job today, what would you do?
16. How long could you maintain your current lifestyle if you were unemployed?
17. If you were starting over right out of school, what career would you pursue?
18. Would you be willing and/or able to get additional education or training for a job you love?
19. Would your spouse support you in a career change?
20. Would your spouse be willing to make lifestyle sacrifices in order for you to make a career change?
21. What have you done toward finding a job or career that you love? (ie: research, updating your resume, looking at job openings, etc.)
22. How could you find or create the time to research and/or look for a job you love?
23. In the past, when have you felt the most fulfilled in your personal and professional life?
24. If you were writing a vision for your ideal life and work, what would it look like?
25. Do you believe it is possible to create your life in a way that is close to that ideal?
26. If you were aged 90, looking back on your life, what would you like to have accomplished personally and professionally?
27. Would you be willing and able to try out a few jobs before you found one that is deeply fulfilling?
28. Do you feel like you know yourself well enough to know what makes you happy and fulfilled? If not, where do you need some self-discovery work?
29. Do you have beliefs or fears about yourself or your abilities that prevent you from acting? If so, how could you begin to address these?
30. What is the least amount of money you’d be willing to make?
31. What is most important to you, job satisfaction or prestige?
32. How is your dissatisfaction with your current job impacting the rest of your life? (ie: stress, relationships, life balance, etc.)
33. If you didn’t have to work at all, what would you do?
34. What one thing could you do today to move toward finding work you love?

Do you love success stories? Reading personal success stories can be the best motivation to bring your life in balance and to find unconventional ways of getting over certain life hurdles.

As part of our Live a More Balanced Life Challenge I would love to present an interview with one of the most inspiring people that I know. Farnoosh Brock blogs at Prolific Living about smart habits for rich living. This year she gave up her decade plus career at a Fortune 500 company to start her voyage of entrepreneurship.

During the last year Farnoosh created several products that became extremely popular. Her latest project – 10 Minute Daily Invigorator – is a collection of 10 videos where she shows you step-by-step her quick and fun “secrets” to getting tons of natural energy and invigoration. She demos all the movements and breathing techniques that work for everyone and you can do all of them with her in just 10 minutes a day! To make your days more balanced you can download Day 1 of the program for free. It’s amazing!

I asked Farnoosh to share her experience of working in the corporate world and maintaining her balance. Also you might be interested to see why she quit her secure job and walked away from a lot of money and what lifestyle changes made this transition possible.

Important reminder: before you continue with the interview I wanted to remind you about your homework. I know that a lot of you are busy with your lives that is why I give you plenty of time to get from one exercise to the next one. Please don’t hesitate to ask me questions in the comments section or to share your reflections even about the first episodes of the challenge. Here is the list of LMBLC Episodes that are available to this date:

1. Farnoosh, do you believe that right now you live a life of balance and peace (in your understanding of course)? Can you give your personal definition of life balance?

You know, I live a more balanced life than I did years ago and even last year but I am working extremely hard during this period to get my new business off the ground and because it is a dream that has been with me for years, I don’t mind going off balance.

I put my health and well-being above working hard but I am not traveling and having a lot of fun these days because I am laser focused on my goals. It feels right so for how it works. And that brings me to the definition.

If you feel in balance in your life with what you are doing, go for it. Do not let others define balance for you, myself included.

If it feeds your mind and your body and your soul, then you must be doing something right, even if you work less than others or more or even if you are doing something to a degree that is far above and beyond the standard scales.

2. This year you made a drastic change in your life. You quit you your 6-figure corporate job to focus on your passion business. What roused you to make this change? What was the most difficult part of the transition and how did you manage it?

Yes, I made a very gutsy decision to give up a lot of comfort and security so I could live every minute of my life on my own terms. So many things brought me to this point.

On top of it all was constant state of frustration, lack of challenge, unhappiness with the state of the corporate world, and the mediocrity and hypocrisy that I had to live with everyday. It was not even worth an easy 6-figure income that I earned while working a few easy hours in my PJs at home, and trust me, I love money and I admit it proudly. So that was difficult.

Giving up the comfortable income was difficult but it was also the absolute right decision for me. So with the support of my husband, and with my own intention and belief that this is really the right path, and with living well below my means for years so that I have saved a nice nest egg, I was able to make the jump. In a way, I was preparing for this day for a decade behind the scenes!

3. On your blog you mentioned that being financially well-off is very important for you. Didn’t the transition from corporate world to entrepreneurship interfere with your lifestyle? How did you find your balance in your new lifestyle?

True, and to be honest, a temporary interference in the mode operandi does not imply that I have changed my values. I still enjoy the idea of a wealthy and comfortable lifestyle and I am still able to do that to some extent because of my preparation phases for this stage.

I have to admit, there are some adjustments that I am making only to be extremely cautious and not out of necessity and it is truly showing me that even though I would like to be financially well-off and extremely comfortable, some of the best things in life are simple and I enjoy them daily.

These are the freedom to do as I please with my day, the ability to create something that did not exist before, the ability to do my yoga stretches and meditation at a moment’s notice, to enjoy music and to explore new ways to improve my body and mind. I think the sum of those is bringing me a lot of focus, and perspective and in your words, balance in a beautiful new way.

4. Farnoosh, you spent 12 years in the corporate world. What are your top tips on maintaining your work/life balance while achieving career success?

You know, I have never liked that term “work/life” but it applies so aptly to the corporate world because work and life are indeed two separate things. I think they should be one and the same so the idea of “work/play” may make more sense but work is part of life, except when you are in the corporate world where work is sometimes so far outside the realm of a normal happy life that you have to balance the “good” and the “bad”. It’s a very sad picture.

I simply stopped caring about the little minutiae of my work, from the politics to the company news to the office gossip, I simply turned a deaf ear and did my job and did it well but beyond that, I did not care much at all about things that did not affect me – but used to really upset me.

So my advice would be to find a place and a job that gives you some level of satisfaction and find the people with whom you can work and respect and then do your best at your job but leave it behind when the day is over.

I think if you are pursuing a serious career in the corporate world, you will find that there is very little truth to the work/life balance especially, if you are going to rise up the corporate ladder. Some new modern and smart corporations may be respecting this but in most cases it is advertised on the surface but not very true.

You have got to define your own priorities and decide whether the extra hours and the extra weekends you want to give up, in hopes of rising the corporate ladder, are worth what you give up. The answer is entirely up to the individual. My answer used to be ‘absolutely yes’ and now, I look back and think that I chose the wrong answer. Luckily, I am turning that around now. Choose the right answer for you!

5. You have a wide range of interests: yoga, cycling, blogging, writing, traveling, photography and of course spending time with your hubby. How do you balance these interests and your goals without getting overwhelmed along the way? Do you have a “secret” technique of prolific living without draining yourself along the way?

Oh I do get overwhelmed! But living a rich and prolific life is so much fun, and the other option would be choosing very few thing and risk getting bored. I let my moods for the day drive my best productivity forward.

If I feel like taking photos and doing some editing on recent photo shoots, I listen. If I feel in the mood to record my next podcast, I do that. If I am in a writing zone, I write. If we are traveling, I arrange things that need to be done and most are mobile and can be done on the road.

There are certainly things I stick to such as my yoga, my meditation, and a good schedule with flexibility in terms of blog posts and podcast and now, product creation, but I give myself a lot of flexibility so that I can listen to my moods and do what feels right at the right time.

The only secret I have, one which I discovered for myself not too long ago and one that you have no doubt heard before, do what you love. The more of that that you do, and the more of it that you build in your life, the more you are able to tap into your true inner happiness and achieve that beautiful balance in your own unique way.

Thank you, Farnoosh for this wonderful interview.

Please feel free to ask Farnoosh any questions in the comments below. She gladly agreed to talk to you and share her experience with the participants of the challenge.

Homework:

• Look through the previous episodes of the LMBLC and complete your homework;
• Ask Farnoosh your questions in the comments below;
• Feel free to ask me any questions;
• Share this interview;
• Have a balanced and restful weekend!

Photo credit: Pascal Monmoine

Do you make a to-do list? Do you follow up on it?

To-do list is a standard tool if you are trying to stay productive. Even if you do not believe in living your life by the list it is still a great way to clear your mind of unnecessary information and make sure that you do not forget any important tasks or dates. I have written before about smart to-do lists but today I want to share with you an interview with the biggest expert on to-do lists that I know, a motivational speaker, life coach and an inspiring blogger behind the Personal Excellence Blog – Celestine Chua.

I have been following Celes’s blog for over two years and was constantly inspired by her articles and her remarkable personality. Celes is the fountain of productivity and creative ideas. Last year she ran her first 30 Days to Live a Better Life Challenge, which she followed up with the Fasting Experiment (21 days, WOW!) and The Million Dollar Challenge which is in progress right now. I asked Celes several questions about how she manages to stay so productive and still keep her life in balance.

1. Celes, you seem to really have a lot on your plate (running challenges on your blog, always thinking of new and exciting projects, maintaining a healthy lifestyle.) How do you manage to keep your To-Do list under control?

Hey Anastasiya! First off, thanks for inviting me for this interview, and I’m very excited to be “speaking” to everyone here!

It’s interesting you used the words “under control”, because how I manage my to-do list is that I don’t attempt to control it. I see the to-do list as a “bucket” or a placeholder to dump all my pending ideas/tasks, but that’s about it. I don’t let this list dictate my life or determine what I have to do for the day. That means I don’t attempt to clear up my list every day – I just do whatever I’m inspired to do at the moment, and then work in that flow zone. Whatever gets done will be done in the day; whatever that doesn’t get covered will just be rolled over to the next day.

While it sounds unorganized and ineffective way of handling the tasks, it actually isn’t. Because I’m working by inspiration, I’m actually a lot more productive today than I was in the past, when I was using a very time/calendar driven approach method of getting things done. I get from one item to the next very quickly. And most importantly, I’m incredibly happy and excited every second of the day because I’m doing what I love every second.

One thing I find helpful is scheduling time-bound tasks (i.e. tasks with specific deadlines that have to be done on a certain time/day) in the calendar, then removing them from the list (so it doesn’t clutter up). With these things out of the way, it then leaves my schedule fluid for whatever I’m most inspired to work on at that moment.

It’s important that we see to-do lists as an support system to help us become more effective, vs. something that we’re obligated to finish. Else, it’s easy to become trapped by our own to-do lists, which is ironic given that they are supposed to help us be more productive in the first place.

2. In one of your posts you were talking about the 20/80 To-Do list. What does it mean and how can it be helpful?

The 20/80 list is one of my favorite productivity tools that I share with my readers. There is a 80/20 rule popularized by an Italian economist that states that 80% of the wealth in the world is actually owned by 20% of the world’s population. This rule extends beyond economics – you can see the unequal, disproportionate 80/20 relationship everywhere in life.

Similarly, even though we may have a hundred and one things in our to-do list, not all of them have the same importance. Some are more important than the others – in a 80/20 way. If you analyze your list, you’ll find that 20% of the tasks contribute to 80% of results in your life.

These are what I call the 20% high value tasks – such as working on life-long goals, starting your business, creating your 10-year plan, improving your relationships with your family, and so on. The remaining are the 80% low value tasks. Typically these are tasks like checking facebook, running errands, checking/rechecking email, administrative work, watching TV, etc. For this same reason, you should prioritize the bulk of your efforts on your 20% high value tasks, and stop wasting time on the other 80% which may take a lot of time but don’t generate any concrete outcome.

3. A lot of people find To-Do lists frustrating (they plan too much and then they have a long list of tasks that never get done.) What are some tips to not overplan?

Plan to the extent where you get clarity on what you have to do next, then take action right away. The role of planning is to empower you to take action. So if you’re finding planning a chore, then clearly something isn’t right. You shouldn’t be planning for the sake of planning.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Do I have sufficient information to proceed? (If yes, then you should proceed)
• What am I planning for? Is there a positive output that’s going to come out of this planning process? (If no, you should cut it short and take action)
• Will this plan help me in achieving my end goal? (If yes, then continue working on the plan, but always be mindful that action needs to occur at some point for the goal to manifest)

4. Celes, what would be your most important advice to people who want to simplify their daily schedule?

Start small first, and go slow as you build it up. With each item in your calendar, ask yourself if you really need to do that. Does this make a difference in your life 1 year, 5 years from now? If not, then take that out. At the same time, introduce a few 20% high value tasks to your life – those tasks that matter the most and will create the most impact in your life when you do them.

As you do them, your fulfillment in your daily life will start to increase. Keep doing that and building on this as you go along. Never forget to experience the joy of what you’re doing and experiencing vs. getting caught up in to-dos. That’s what life is about – living life to the fullest in every moment, whereby the moments are created by you yourself.

5. What type of a To-Do list do you personally use? Is it just a piece of paper or some digital type? Do you have any tips on how to pick the best type of To-Do list for each person?

I use whatever tools that are most conducive at that point in time. Usually that means either a new notepad file, or a writing pad. I’ve never been a big user of complex GTD productivity systems – I tried using them and it felt like I was trying to make the system work out for me vs. truly being productive using it. That said, I’m sure the systems work for the others – the key here is to use whatever works best for you.

Ultimately, there is no one size fits all solution. The best productivity system is the one you create for yourself, whether by combining multiple tools, or by custom creating yours through Excel, and so on. My tips would be to use what makes you feel most comfortable. If you like using pen/paper and you usually work away from the computer, then stick to the traditional writing pads. If you prefer storing information digitally and you spend a lot of time at the computer, then going digital might be more conducive.

Thanks Celes for an awesome interview!

How about you? What’s your opinion about to-do lists? Leave your smart thoughts below and share this article with your friends.

Keep it balanced!

There are very few things worse than constantly feeling unhappy or even ashamed of your body. I personally have very few friends who can say that they are 100% satisfied with their bodies. There is always something that needs to be changed. Something that needs to be trimmed. Something that needs to be added.

It’s not surprising that weight loss, diet and fitness industries are still growing rapidly today. However, what is the purpose of being in good shape? What is the real motivation for many people to achieve their peak form? Why are they willing to try any (even most insane) diet and workout regimen out there after their attempts have already failed several times?

Life that is focused so much about body is not balanced. There is no way to be in balance if you are constantly unhappy with a part of you. There is no way to be in balance if you are constantly depriving your body of enough nutrients (diet), overwork it without any real reason (long and strenuous workouts) and constantly remind yourself how much more you have to go to reach your goal. Obviously there is no way for a plan like that to work.

A few weeks ago I got a request to review a new book on my blog – Body Confidence by Mark Macdonald. I must admit that I was very skeptical about it at first – I personally do not believe in diets or crazy workout schedules. I’ve tried my fair share of them and finally reclaimed my body confidence when I started listening to my body and bringing it in balance both physically and mentally.

However, I was interested to see what the book was all about because Mark claimed that it was not a diet book. Surprisingly I found myself agreeing with most everything in that book (BTW, this book is for those who want to drop some weight and those who want to gain a little bit and take their body to the performance level.) Here are several points that I found most interesting and useful:

1. Knowing your “Why.” Why are you interested in reading this article? You want to take your body to the next level. But why? What is the real reason of being fit for you? Most people decide to lose weight because their doctor says so, because they are unhappy with their current body, because they want to look like fitness models on the covers of the magazines. But what is the real reason? All of those reasons and goals are very shallow and not motivating enough. They are short term goals that can get you through a few weeks or even months of achieving your body goals but after that your motivation will crash.
   

   Ask yourself these five questions:
   1. “Why” do I want to achieve my goal(s)?
   2. What will I “get” from achieving my goals?
   3. What happens once I achieve my goals?
   4. Is my “why” strong enough to keep me focused on my health during life’s changes?
   5. Is the “why” I’ve chosen only short term? If so, what is my long term “why”?
   Mark Macdonald

2. Balancing your Quadrant. We all know that life always gets in the way of our plans and goals. Let’s say you are living a full life already and all of a sudden you try to add regular workouts and a new nutrition plan to your lifestyle. Very quickly your life gets out of balance, you start getting stressed out about your new healthy habits and you approach a complete meltdown when you undo all the positive changes that you’ve made to your lifestyle. Does it sound familiar?
   

   Take some time to calculate how many hours you’ll be spending on your health – and then be honest with yourself about which part, or parts, of the Quadrant [health, lifestyle, profession, relationships] you’ll take those hours from. Give yourself time to regularly rethink that balance – weekly, monthly, or however often you need. New commitments arise all the time, and it’s time for us all to stop trying to live as though there are limitless hours in the day.
   Mark Macdonald

3. Nutrition is a cornerstone of your internal balance. Dieting, eliminating certain food groups from your diet, depriving your body of the nutrients that it needs creates an inner imbalance in your body. Proper nutrition should give you energy throughout the day, it should bring your body in balance, making you look and feel good. Constantly thinking about your cravings is definitely not a balanced way of living.
   

   Nutrition should be used to create internal balance. This is what separates maintaining stable sugar from dieting.
   Mark Macdonald

   Mark Macdonald focuses on stabilizing your blood sugar by eating balanced meals every 3-4 hours. The meals can be anything from yogurt with fresh berries to a steak with a side of green beans and even mashed potatoes (in moderation of course.) By keeping your blood sugar stable you avoid those spurts of uncontrollable hunger and keep your unhealthy cravings at bay.

4. Balanced nutrition. As I mentioned before the meals that Mark recommends are 100% balanced and they consist of 30%-40% protein, 35% carbohydrates and 25%-30% fat. It is preferred that you eat clean and minimally processed foods that are high in nutrients (you can’t go wrong with a plan like that!)
5. Each body is different. Did you ever wonder why some people stay naturally lean while eating all the food that they want while others gain weight even by literally smelling food? We all have different body types which affect our metabolism and they way we process food. There are three distinguished body types but a lot of people may be somewhere in between two of them.
   
   Considering your body types is important in setting your goals and knowing how to reprogram your metabolism.
6. Everyone should initially do core training. This is not part of the nutrition plan but I definitely agree with Mark on this one. While cardio is your best bet when you are trying to burn some fat (and there is plenty of information on how to do cardio to reach your body goals in the book) …
   

   core training is primarily designed for people who want to increase flexibility, improve strength, lengthen their body, and develop muscle tone and definition without gaining muscle size. Initially, everyone should do core training, regardless of gender or goal type. Then, once you learn how to activate your core, you can move on to the second type of strength training: weights.
   Mark Macdonald

   Can you guess the best ways to train your core?

   • Pilates (which focuses more on core strength)
   • Yoga (which focuses more on your flexibility)
   • And Core Specialists (a little bit of both)

My personal takeaway after reading Body Confidence

• Definitely focus on eating snacks between my meals (actually both meals and snacks should be almost equal in size according to Mark MacDonald to prevent overeating, energy loss, and to keep your blood sugar stable.)
• Drink more water (8-12 glasses a day.)
• Explore more interesting and balanced meal ideas.

I am not the type of person who does everything (or anything) by the book. Even when I cook a new recipe I usually change something in it to make it suit my personal taste, make it healthier or just try something new. I must say that I have the same approach to any health advice that I read – I always transform it to fit my lifestyle. Here is what I would change for myself after reading the book:

• Instead of focusing on 60-90 min workouts (as recommended in the book) 5 days a week I would focus on 30 min workouts 6 days a week. This workout routine better fits my daily schedule.
• Avoid sugar-free sweeteners and drinks. I believe that any artificial sweeteners are not good for your body (the only exception might be lemonade or tea made with stevia that you might grow in your garden.) I also do not feel right about “lying” to my body. If I want a soft drink – I would drink the one with real sugar (not high fructose corn syrup) but make it a once-a-month treat. The same goes for deserts and other sweets.
• I personally do not like protein shakes, protein bars and all other highly processed and extremely unnatural foods. I would not use them in my meal plan because I prefer natural nutrition (and if it means having a little less muscle definition – I am perfectly okay with that.)

If you think that Body Confidence is a book that will help you reach your body goals – check it out on Amazon. You can also get a free assessment of your current health level (with tips and feedback) at Venice Nutrition (the official online “home” of Mark MacDonald and his book.)

Keep it balanced!

P.S. Right now you can download my new 100% FREE Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook. It is a limited time offer (2 weeks only) so hurry up to get your copy today!

Photo credit: cszar

About a year ago I came across an interesting blog called Upgrade Reality. The author of the blog – Dirk or how most people know him online – Diggy – shared interesting practical self improvement tips. Self Improvement is a pretty crowded niche and finding something exceptionally good in it can be hard at times. However, Upgrade Reality immediately stood out for me because Diggy had an amazing life story and quite a few accomplishments to back up all of his articles and great tips. Here are a few sentences from Diggy’s About page:

I am 24 years old and born in Amsterdam but currently living in South Africa. Here is a short summary of what I am about:

• At 17 I graduated high school top of my class
• At 18 I ran a supermarket with my dad for 2 years
• At 20 I started learning about Forex and trading
• At 21 I started blogging and affiliate marketing
• At 24 I now work from home full-time and am building up my business empire

I am far from perfect and still have a lot to learn, but I also believe that I have a lot to teach to others. I’m incredibly passionate about making a difference in this world, and I’m doing that with one article at a time.

Diggy has also written a few eBooks that are available for sale on his website (click here to learn more about the eBooks):

• Upgrade Reality: The no-nonsense guide to overcoming personal obstacles and getting the life of your dreams
• Easy Healthy Dinner Recipes
• The Definitive Guide to Blogging

Isn’t it amazing how much he has accomplished in life already? I could not miss the opportunity to interview Diggy for Balance In Me because his success story is as personal as it gets. I am sure that all of us can learn a few things from him. Even better, you can download his free eBook You Vesion2.0: 117 proven tips you can use immediately to change your life for good (click here to download your copy – you will have to provide your email address but it is totally worth it.)

Here is an interview with Diggy, I hope you will enjoy it.

1. Diggy, what is your biggest accomplishment in life at this point? Why is it important and how did you get there?

I feel that my biggest personal accomplishment in my life at this point is that I build up my blog Upgradereality.com to over 3000 subscribed readers.

It’s very important to me because I’ve recently decided to build an online business full-time, and the fact that I achieved my target with my blog is a very inspiring and supporting factor in my journey towards success. I started over 2 years ago, and have been working on my blog part time for a few hours every single day. It’s been a big learning curve, but with hard work and persistence it’s possible to do almost anything.

2. “Most importantly, it’s important to take action and be the change you want to see in the world,”- words from your about page. What are the practical steps that you take to be that change?

The first step to being the change that you want to see is to stop complaining. Seriously, if there is something that bothers you, change it or accept it and move on. There is zero benefit from complaining, and you only poison others with your negativity.

When you take action to change what bothers you instead of complaining, you inspire and motivate others too. As soon as you make this a habit you will start to see the world in a whole new light, and you will be well on your way to creating the life you want to live and achieve the targets you aim for.

3. What is your opinion about life balance? Where do you think your life is right now?

Everything in life needs to be balanced. Too little and it’s not good, too much and it’s not good.

It can be difficult to keep a healthy balance, often I swing too much in one direction and seriously need to adjust and do the opposite to regain balance. For example with partying, I’ll go out every night for 2 weeks in a row and then I’ll not go out for a month or two.

I know that this is unhealthy and I consciously pay attention to my habits.

There’s a saying that really helps me with this:

“Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret”.

4. On your blog you talk a lot about starting and running your own business. What is your most important piece of advice in this area?

I would say that the most important thing to keep in mind when starting and running your own business is that there are an unlimited amount of ways to succeed, there is no single ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to run your business, as long as you make money.

Also, remember that very few businesses succeed within a few months. Most businesses take 1-2 years minimum before they start showing decent profits, and could even take longer than that. The key is to stay motivated, work hard and keep expenses as low as possible.

5. Diggy, on your blog I read “There is absolutely no need to live a life you are not happy with.” What are some practical steps that one can make to upgrade their reality to a happier one?

Firstly I’d suggest making a list of all the things in your life you are not happy with.

Then go ahead and write possible solutions to all of these problems, in other words, how could you go about changing those things so that you get them to be the way you want them to be?

After that, you need to make a plan of action, where you write down specific instructions of what you are going to do every day to get closer to your goals of achieving happiness and changing the things you are not happy with. This is the plan you are going to follow for the next weeks/months.

Finally, I’d suggest finding role models and mentors who have done what you want to do, and study their methods and strategies they use(d) to achieve success.

If you liked the interview please stop by Diggy’s blog – Upgrade Reality – and download his free eBook You Version 2.0 to learn even more from him.

Keep it balanced!

Healthy eating is definitely a part of a balanced lifestyle. What you eat is the fuel that you give to your body and you hope that this fuel will give you enough energy to finish all your tasks, to withstand daily stress and to have some fun. The problem with healthy eating that many people face is that they do not know where to begin.

It is easy to get lost in the ocean of research, advice and diets ranging from extremes like raw foodism to eat-all-you-want (but take “magic” pills) diets. I try to maintain a healthy diet but I am not a dietitian and sometimes even I get lost among all those new tips and recommendations.

Sometimes I just want to talk to someone who will explain to me exactly what I need to eat and how to control my family’s diet in the best way (without spending a fortune at the grocery store.) When I heard that one of my favorite health bloggers – Melanie Thomassian from Dietriffic – is releasing a brand new eBook about healthy eating I immediately got interested. The book is called Healthy Eating Handbook and the title speaks for itself.

What I like about this book the most is how simple and well organized it is. The book flows from one chapter to another one and you can easily find answers to the most important nutrition questions. The book is not the only thing that you get – you are also getting a workbook that will help you establish a habit of healthy eating, a recipe book and even Home Exercise Handbook (plus a few extra bonuses). Basically you get all the tools to start you on the journey towards a healthy lifestyle.

I asked Melanie to answer a few questions about healthy eating. Even if you do not need the handbook you will still learn a lot from this awesome interview.

1. How does the principle of balance apply to healthy eating?

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is all about being moderate in our eating, it’s not about denial, contrary to what popular ‘diets’ would have you believe. Do you wonder why you keep failing on every single diet you’ve ever tried? It’s because the common theme is denial! No one wants to live like that, which means you can’t stick with it long-term.

Without balance, or a little bit of what you like versus the “healthy stuff”, eating would become a major chore. What I always empathize, though, is that the key is moderation. It’s not okay to eat a whole chocolate cake in one sitting, but it is okay to have a slice. What I teach in the Healthy Eating Handbook is how to achieve this balance, and maintain it for life.

2. It often seems that if you want to eat healthy then you have to spend a fortune on groceries. How do you stay on the budget while maintaining a healthy diet?

This is certainly a problem, but there are ways to consistently eat healthy, without blowing your budget each week.

I have found the single most effective way to save money on food, and still eat healthy, is to use a menu plan. It seems like such a simple concept, but it absolutely works. One of the main benefits of menu planning is that it helps you stay on track as you go around the supermarket — so you end up with a trolley full of the food you intended to purchase, rather than a bunch misfit items.

I used to go shopping, and find myself wondering aimlessly around the aisles picking random items. When I got home, I didn’t have a clue what to make that evening, never mind what to cook in 5 or 6 days time.

The huge benefit I see with menu planning is the money I save, because I buy what I need, no more and no less, and therefore don’t waste food, or pick up items I don’t need. Ultimately, I also feel more organized, and I eat healthier, because I’ve taken time to plan healthy foods into my week.

Peas, beans and lentils also make a regular appearance at our dinner table, since they are easy, cheap and nutritious. I like to add peas and beans to soup, curry, and stew, etc. to bulk out the meal, and make it go a little further. And, I like to have a least one vegetarian night each week, with lentils or eggs being the focus on these nights.

These are some of the simple, yet effective ways, which I use to keep our families food budget on track.

3. A lot of times people are pressed on time and they are not ready to change their diet right away. What, in your opinion, is the first and most important change that anyone should make to be healthier?

It’s difficult to pick one particular area, as it varies so much from one person to the next. What’s important when making changes in your diet and lifestyle, is that those changes sit well with you, and that you can maintain them for life. So, if you have certain foods you can’t imagine living without, there’s no point saying, “I’ll never eat another “XYZ” again!” because really, you know you will!

Perhaps, a better goal would be to cut back on your frequency of these treats, and then to keep reassessing your goals. It’s very common that when people begin to improve their diet in other areas, those foods they used to love so much begin to lose their grip, and it becomes easier, with time, to let them go completely.

If I was to say just one thing that people should give up, it would have to be soft drinks, without a doubt. I see very little point in them, they have zero nutritional benefit, and basically they are wasted calories.

4. How do you deal with treats? We all love happy comforting foods, how should we eat them without any consequences to our waistline?

Wow, life would be pretty boring without “treats”, wouldn’t it? I have a very sweet tooth, which I have to make an effort to keep in check. For me, the key is not to deprive myself… if I want some chocolate, I will have some, but mostly it’s only a few squares at a time — my husband jokes that I “ration” it out!

I’m all in favor of eating what I call “high quality” treats, which are savored. So, a couple of squares of high cocoa chocolate do the trick for me, or perhaps a slice of homemade cake, rather than a store-bought, inferior product. Again, it comes back to the balance and moderation concept — if your diet overall focuses on healthy, whole foods most of the time, there’s no reason why you can’t occasionally indulge.

5. Do you personally have any “weak” points when it comes to healthy eating? How do you deal with them?

My weak points normally stem from those times when I’m not so organized. Perhaps I haven’t made it to the grocery store and supplies are running low, or I’m really tired and don’t feel like cooking. These are the times when I could very easily opt for a takeout. I actually had one of those days at the weekend. Normally I love to get into the kitchen to cook, but I had left starting dinner too late, and began to feel overly hungry and irritable. At that point I really felt like getting a takeout, but decided I needed to pull myself together, and see what could be rustled up quickly. I settled on lentil curry, brown rice, mushrooms and courgette, and it was ready in about 30 minutes. Everyone was satisfied, and I was happy that we had eaten good food.

I also really enjoy baking — I did say I have a sweet tooth, right? So, I like to make something special that everyone can enjoy, sometimes it’s healthy, sometimes it’s not-so healthy. Again, it’s back to that old balance and moderation concept. That’s simply how I deal with it.

Thank you Melanie for your answers.

If you are interested in Melanie’s Healthy Eating Handbook you can pick it up right here. I found it very helpful and at the same time very easy to read and to follow. If you do not know how to start eating healthy and you need help keeping your grocery budget under control – I am sure you will like this handbook as much as I did.

P.S. for bloggers. Next week I am launching the retreat I’ve been talking so much about (if you do not know what I am talking about – check out the biggest banner in the sidebar.) If any of you want to do an interview with me as a part of the retreat launch – please send me a message through the contact form or directly at anastasiya {at} balanceinme {dot} com I will be happy to put a link to your blog in the launch post next week. I am expecting a lot of traffic next week and both of us can benefit from this interview.

First of all I want to remind you that today is the last day to sign up for the Co-Creator Program for the retreat From a Sedentary to Active Lifestyle in 1 Month. There are only a few spots left, so hurry up and get on board!

We all want to get more things done during the day but very few of us actually manage to do that. I find myself running like a hamster in a wheel sometimes trying to finish all my projects but by the end of the day I still have a bunch of stuff left and I have no energy to do anything else. Have you felt the same before?

We often say “I wish there were 48 hours in the day!” But no matter how much we want that we still cannot control the time. At the same time we can control our schedule, we can control when we go to bed and when we wake up.
When I heard that Steven Aitchison (a blogger I greatly respect and admire) had created a guide How to Become an Advanced Early Riser I knew that I had to check it out. I do not want to give away all the secrets but I can say that the guide really works.

Steven says that anyone can ditch their alarm clock and start waking up early effortlessly. At this point I can’t really ditch my alarm clock because I have two little girls who are my alarm clocks. Every morning my precious double trouble brigade wakes me up whenever they want to and often the first thing I see is some trouble or a fight over a toy.

However by following Steven’s advice I managed to get a better night sleep. Restorative sleep is the magical pill against stress, depression and loss of life balance. If you are well-rested then the entire world looks hundreds times brighter even on a rainy day. I hope that one day I will again be able to live on my own schedule, but this is a topic for another post.

I want to let Steven talk a little bit about his experience with being an early riser (he knows all the answers to your questions anyway.)

1. Why did you decide to become an early riser?

It was a combination of things really. I had been looking at different ways to make my life better and found myself increasingly short of time to do work, socialize, and study everything I wanted to learn about the mind. The tipping point was when I nearly lost my job because I had gone in late, for the umpteenth time. I was put on a 4 week improvement plan and advised that if I was late again, not to bother coming back to work. I did improve, so much so that a few months later I was being considered for a supervisory role, but decided to turn that down and leave instead with my head held high.

2. What was the most difficult part of the transformation into the advanced early riser for you?

The most difficult part is the motivation. I used to get up at 5.30am and say to myself ‘What the hell am I doing this for?’. You’ve got to have a great reason to be able to get up early in the morning. If you get up early to watch back to back episodes of ‘Two and a half men’, you’ll get pretty tired of getting up early.

I have amazing reasons to get up at 4.30 in the morning. I have goals and dreams that I want to achieve and getting up early allows me to get a step closer to my goals.

3. What does your typical day look like?

4.30 – 5.00 – Get up looking forward to the day ahead, in fact really excited about the day ahead. No alarm clock to rudely awaken me out of a good night’s sleep as I get up naturally.
5.00 – 5.15 – Check in with important emails, prioritizing what needs to be answered now and saving other emails for later replies.
5.15 – 5.45 – Check in with connections on SU, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. I have recently become the Guest Post editor at TheDailyBrainstorm and linking with new exciting people is one of the remits here so this part of the day is important.
5.45 – 6.00 – Cup of coffee and walking around the kitchen (I do all my thinking and come up with some ideas whilst walking around), put notes in my ideas book.
6.00 – 6.30 – walk for two miles or some other form of exercise.
6.30 – 6.40 – Meditation or relaxation
6.40 – 7.00 – Write for new eBooks or work on the blog, follow up with connections.
7.00 – 7.15 – Get the boys up for school and wake Sharon up to get ready for work
7.15 – 7.30 – Shower, brush teeth. Make sure the boys are actually up
7.30 – 8.00 – Spend time with my wife just talking about the day ahead, dreams, chilling. Having breakfast with Sharon, toast and tea whilst boys watch a little TV (if they are ready ) 8.00 – 8.15 – Last minute preparations to get house in order, school bags, lunches for the boys etc, kiss Sharon goodbye (very important )
8.15 – 8.30 – Take boys to school
8.30 – 8.45 - drive to work whilst listening to a business or personal development book on my iPod
8.45 – 12.00 - work as addiction worker
12.00 – 13.00 – Go home for lunch and check in with connections. Grab a coffee, open letters.
13.00 – 16.45 – work as addiction worker
16.45 – 18.00 – Spend time with Sharon talking about our day, chilling, cup of coffee and talking with boys if they are around. Take them to clubs if necessary.
18.00 – 19.00 – Write, emails, connect, put dinner on if I am making it, otherwise Sharon will do it.
19.00 – 20.00 – Sit down to dinner with Sharon and the boys and talk about day
20.00 – 22.00 – Coaching calls, write some more, deal with more emails,
22.00 – 22.15 – Get the boys ready for bed and hug goodnight
22.15 – 23.30 – Chat with Sharon, watch TV, read

4. Do you believe that anyone can ditch their alarm clock and become a happy early riser?

I have no doubt in saying that anybody could ditch their alarm clock and learn to wake up naturally. Put it this way, if I said to you I will give you $100,000 if you can wake up at 6am every morning without an alarm clock, I bet you would be able to do it. It’s all about motivation. The motivation for me was to discipline my mind and take control. getting up without an alarm clock was an experiment in mind control for me. I have now been getting up naturally for around 15 years or so.

5. Is your family on the same schedule? If no, how does difference in schedules affect your relationships?

My family is definitely not on the same schedule My wife, loves her bed, however I have noticed that she can no longer have a lie in at the weekend like she used to do. My two sons are bed lovers as well.

My schedule does not interfere with my wife’s or my sons as we all go to bed at the same time during the week, usually about 10pm. My wife and I stay up and talk in bed, or read, watch TV or whatever until about 11.30 – 12am, so I still get to spend all that time with my family. Only I get up at 4.30 – 5am and steal time for myself and work on my own projects before waking Sharon and the boys up at 7am.

The other thing about working when nobody is up is that I don’t feel guilty about working. I work in the evenings when Sharon is watching TV, to unwind, and the boys are doing their own thing, I feel guilty about not spending that time with Sharon and the boys, so I make sure that when I come home from my day time job that I spend a few hours with my family before going to work up stairs. That’s why the weekend is so important for us as well, as it’s family time.

6. How do you maintain your energy level throughout the day? I personally could sleep for 6 hours but then I feel dead on my feet in the afternoon. What is your secret?

Ah! The secret sauce

I speak about that in the guide, but I guess it is not really a huge secret.

I take what I term as ‘micro naps’, usually two throughout the day. I get the afternoon slump that most people get, and the reason for this is explained in the guide, and I deal with this by going home for lunch and having a 10-15 minute nap. It’s a very light sleep, and I usually nap at my desk at home whilst listening to some relaxation music.

If I feel the need I will also nap at work for 10 minutes. The trick is knowing how to steal 10 minutes at work .

I also incorporate a few other practices as well, but I don’t want to give too much away.

7. What is your biggest motivation in life that keeps you going day after day and creating amazing guides like How to Become an Advanced Early Riser?

More and more I keep asking myself the same question: ‘What am I leaving behind?’

When I first started blogging and writing, it was an ego thing. I wanted people to tell me how interesting I was or how good I was, but quickly realized it was something much bigger than that. I also want to improve as much as I can. My first guide ‘Lucid Dreaming’ is not a masterpiece, but you can see the difference in writing from the guide ‘Lucid Dreaming’ to ‘How to Become an Advanced Early Riser’. My next guide will be better than the one before.

My real motivation is that I don’t want to leave this earth having not given anything back, and having not left, what Chris Guillebeau talks about so well, ‘My legacy’. I want to be doing something worthwhile, something that has meaning, and something that will help another human being. There’s so many shitty things happening in the world today, and I want to be someone who contributes to people saying ‘It’s not such a bad world after all.’

Thank you Steven, I greatly appreciate your answers and tips that you have shared with my readers.

If you are interested in becoming an early riser and waking up without an alarm clock every day, take a look at Steven’s guide How to Become an Advanced Early Riser. Even if you do not plan to change your sleeping habits radically you will still improve your night sleep and pick up a few valuable ideas about healthy lifestyle.

Please feel free to ask me or Steven any questions in the comments below. When does your regular day start?

Keep it balanced!

P.S. I hope that you will join me during a retreat From a Sedentary to Active Lifestyle in 1 Month. The Co-Creator Program closes today at midnight. Do not forget that as a co-creator you get a personalized active lifestyle plan created by me and workouts to reach your personal fitness goals (as well as a discount on the course!)

Image by Brandon Christopher Warren

The process of growing as a person is fascinating and it does not matter how old you are to start this journey. I have started my journey when I was 22 and the changes that have happened in my life are tremendous! I think that the path of self improvement, spirituality and faith is what drives me through life and helps me be a better person.

OK, that was a long rant about the importance of self improvement (I am pretty sure that you agree with me if you like reading blogs ) Now, would you believe me if I said that there is a single resource that can help you achieve anything in life? This is a very strong claim! Actually when I got an email from Jason Harvey(do not forget to check out his blog) asking me if I was interested in reviewing his book Achieve Anything in Just One Year I was a little skeptical about it. I guess I agreed to look at the book more from curiosity rather than a belief that it could really do that much. Boy, was I wrong!

Even if you do not like book reviews, stick around and read Jason’s interview because he has really great tips to share with all of us. In the meantime I want to say a few words about the book. It is a really great one! The book is divided into 365 chapters (each chapter is page-long and it contains a motivational quote and a lesson). You can go day after day or you can open the book whenever you want to and read a few pages that will help you focus on important areas in your life.

I must say that I haven’t gone through 365 days yet (I am about 30 days into the book) and I am learning a lot. Jason’s approach is very balanced. You do not have to spend much time reading and you do not have to follow a particular plan. You just flow with it and incorporate his tips into your life naturally.

Who is this book good for?

• Anyone who wants to reach their goals
• People who value their time
• Anyone who is looking for meaning in their life
• Someone who is ready to make changes and grow
• Anyone looking for a more balanced approach to life.

Let’s see what Jason has to say about his book and life balance. Do not forget to ask him questions in the comments below.

1. Jason, in your book you promise that your readers can achieve anything in just one year. How is it possible? Did you have to change your life in order to reach your goals?

Great question Anastasiya. There are a few things that are involved, first you need to do a bit of self examination and figure out what it is that you want to achieve and why. For example, if you have a goal to sail around the World and the thing that brings you the most joy in your life is spending time with friends and family then I would say you really need to go back and re-examine what you want to achieve and why. Next you need to write your goals down; along with what you are going to do to reach these goals. Putting your goals and action plan to paper is a very powerful thing. Our subconscious mind is always working, and when you write things down you put these thoughts into your subconscious. Finally you will need to take action, this is the key. You must do something, you must take action. When you take action toward your goal each and every day anything is possible.

For myself: in the past one of the things that I struggled with was being consistent with my actions. I would try to fit in the actions needed to achieve my goals after I completed everything else that I thought I had to do that day. This led me to skip a lot of days due to lack of time. This lack of consistency led me to fail. When I finally realized the power of being consistent I was able to achieve so much. I know that some people reading this might think that this seems a little simplistic or even a little boring. Well maybe they are right, but achieving your goals does not have to be complicated.

2. Your book is divided into 365 chapters. If you had to give your readers advice for only one day, the most important day, what would it be?

I would have to go with Day 362, which is about remembering to enjoy the everyday experiences of life. Sometimes you can get caught up in the excitement of working to achieve a goal and not take the time to have fun along the way. For example, if you are working on a fitness goal that involves spending one hour a day in a gym, you should take the time to meet some of the people who are at the gym. This will not only make going to the gym more enjoyable but you will also make some new friends along the way.

3. What do you think about life balance? What is it in your opinion and do you have it in your life?

I feel life balance is very important, it is something I am very mindful of everyday. I define life balance as aligning your health, relationships and work life in a way that makes you happy. That said I think it is a very individual matter, you need to figure out for yourself what the perfect balance is. Fortunately I do have a life balance that brings me great joy in my life. However this was not always the case.

4. What is (was) the most difficult part of your life to bring in balance? How did you manage to do that?

I was a workaholic and this meant that my health and personal relationships came a distance second to my business. This was a difficult thing to change, I was self employed and I thoroughly enjoyed running my business. But over time I began to realize that I was not that happy doing what I was doing every day. I managed to change due to my knowledge of personal development. By this I mean that I was aware of the concept of life balance. From there I made a conscious decision to take the actions needed to rebalance my life in a way that would make me happier.

5. What are your three most successful habits in life that help you accomplish your goals?

1.) Journaling
2.) Reading
3.) Consistency

6. Jason, please, give us your advice on how to always feel inspired to reach for the dreams in life and to live every day meaningfully.

This is somewhat of a catch 22. First you need a plan on how to reach your dreams, then you need to take action. The process of taking action to accompany your dreams will in turn inspire you to get up each day and feel ready to take on the world. Of course the inverse is also true, if you have no defined plans or even dreams at all it will be very difficult to get up and feel inspired to take on the day.

Thank you, Jason!

If you are ready to check out Jason’s book and achieve anything you want in life please click the image to the left or right here.

Keep it balanced!