Did you ever have to think of a last-minute present? It’s stressful!

Maybe you got really busy at work and completely forgot to order the gift.

Maybe your gift can’t be delivered on time (it happened to me before.)

Or maybe the gift that you carefully picked out is simply not available at the stores right now (I wanted to give my husband a pair of running shoes one year and of course none of the nearby stores carries his size.)

And maybe sometimes you just want to give something extra special to a person you love but no matter how many sleepless nights you spend thinking about the present you still can’t come up with anything even remotely close to the perfect gift.

If you are in this situation this year then I have several very interesting and balanced gift ideas that I would like to share with you. Even if you got all presents under the tree already you can still keep reading to see if there is something that you want to give yourself this season (after all, taking care of yourself is a vitally important part of living a life of balance.)

1. The gift of farm-fresh produce. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get a bushel of farm fresh produce every week? You know that tomatoes that you get were on the vine just a few hours ago versus a few weeks ago. The fruit that you get is ripe and has just been picked versus being sprayed with chemicals to keep it looking pretty and fresh for weeks in a row. CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) is a wonderful gift that will keep your loved ones healthy all year long. Go to Local Harvest (US), Making Local Foods Work (UK) or Food Connect (Australia) to find a farm new you. Call the farm today or order an online gift certificate that you can print and display under or on the Christmas tree.
2. National park membership. What can be better than spending time in nature? In my opinion nothing can bring you more balance than just a few minutes outside. A lot of national parks, refuges and botanical gardens offer annual passes that will let you (or your loved ones) enjoy peaceful minutes in nature any time of the day or year.

   How wonderful will it be to go camping with your family during the weekend?

   Do you feel stressed out after a long day at work? – Just get in your car and go for a relaxing walk under century old trees … Peace and serenity…

   Check online if your state offers park memberships (South Carolina – the state where I live – offers an annual family membership for just $50.)

3. Digital subscription. Do you want to help your loved ones transform their lives or try something new? Pick one (or several) magazines that you think they will appreciate and give them a digital subscription. This gift will be green, eco-friendly (no trees were harmed to deliver that magazine to their inbox) and useful. If your loved already owns an iPad or Kindle Fire then they will be able to read the magazine absolutely anywhere.
4. Mind and Body Program. Gym memberships are becoming too boring and impersonal. Even more, most people who get gym memberships go to the gym only for the first month or two and after that they revert back to their old lifestyle. I personally haven’t set my foot in the gym for over two years and I LOVE exercise.

   If you want to give your loved ones a gift of a balanced body that they will actually appreciate then how about trying something new?

   • A gift card to a local Pilates or Yoga studio. If the person you are giving this gift to is a total fitness beginner then I would recommend purchasing several private sessions (most good studios will actually insist on teaching at least 1-3 private sessions before allowing you to join a group class.) If you (or the person receiving this gift) has already tried Yoga or Pilates on DVD or in a regular gym and wasn’t too impressed then I am asking you to give it another try. The only common thing between gym/DVD Yoga and Pilates and a studio session is the name. Even most men enjoy these sessions after they try them and realize that Mind & Body exercise is not a Female Only thing (I got my husband into Pilates and have several male clients at the studio who love their workouts.)
   • An online Pilates video program. If a person you are preparing this gift for doesn’t have time to go to the studio or gym then an online program is the best fit for them. A blogging friend of mine Robin Long is launching her Pilates Body program on January 2. It’s a 6-week virtual Pilates and nutrition program. The registration is open right now.
   • If you are ready to try (or give) an online Yoga program then I would recommend 30 Days of Yoga. I took Marianne’s Yoga program this fall and it was amazing. I am not a Yoga person but I thoroughly enjoyed this class. She has Yoga for everyone: beginners, busy people, curvy yoga and of course everyone else.
5. A well-grounded gift for women. If you are looking for a gift for a busy mom who wants to have more energy and have a healthier lifestyle then Designed for Wellness is something I would recommend. Lisa Byrne created this course for moms who need more healthy balance in their lives and have little time to achieve it. The best thing is that if you purchase this course by January 2nd then you also get to enroll for free yourself.
6. An apology. Sometimes the best gift that you can give someone is not the one that you can buy. Do you feel that you weren’t appreciative enough of the people who love you? Did you offend someone this year? Did you say something you regret? Let your loved ones know how much you really love them by apologizing to them this Christmas if an unfortunate incident has occurred during the year. Write a long letter where you tell exactly you love this person and how sorry you are for not showing it more often. You know the words that you have to say, and now is the best time to say them.
7. Healthy cooking lessons. Another ingredient of balanced living is healthy cooking. When you try to juggle healthy ingredients, simple recipes that don’t take half of the day and tasty cooking can quickly become overwhelming. Jules Clancy of StoneSoup.com has created a Virtual Cookery School that will teach anything from reclaiming a waistline to cooking like a chef. Jules also has several eCookbooks and video cookbooks that are wonderful gift ideas for anyone.
8. New hobby. An important part of living a balanced life is enjoying leisure time. The life that is only about work, family and other necessities can put us into a rut very fast. Our lives often get so busy that we completely forget about devoting time to our leisure and even have no idea what hobby we might enjoy. Let your loved ones try one (or several) new hobbies. Take a look at this list of the most popular hobbies. Which ones do you think will be fun? Schedule a class that will teach the basics of the hobby, buy the first kit or the necessary accessories and make sure that you can give your loved one the time to try this hobby out.
9. Balanced Life. Do you feel that your loved ones will benefit from a more balanced lifestyle? Do they seem to be overwhelmed and overworked most of the time? Do you feel that the person you love has changed recently and lost connection to his/her authentic self? Give them the gift of the Reclaim Your Life course and take one copy for yourself (I told you that you deserve a gift this season too.) Presenting an ecourse can be difficult (after all you can’t put an email with a download link under the Christmas tree.) Here are a few suggestions:
   • buy a pretty flash drive and upload the course on it;
   • print out the course and put it in a personalized binder (the course comes with several motivational posters -you can print them on high-quality paper and frame them.)
   • send the download link for the ebook via email to a person who won’t be spending holidays with you this year.

Giving and receiving gifts is a wonderful tradition but it is not what this holiday season is about. Spend time with your family celebrating the real reason of Christmas, enjoy your time together and don’t worry about little things like presents. People you love will remember the time spent with you and not what gift you gave them this year.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P.S. You can receive an unexpected holiday gift and win a free hard-cover copy of the book Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions. Click here to see how.

P.P.S. Some of the links in this article are affiliate links. However, I endorse these items only because I love them and believe in them. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I do.

Keep it balanced!

I love the holidays!  We had snow early on the East Coast USA in October and ever since I’ve been excitedly waiting for the day that it would be appropriate to hang Christmas lights and decorations!  But the holidays don’t do those of us working towards balance any favors, do they?  We’re all offered these super sugary drinks, high calorie (super delicious) cookies, super late nights, rushing around to get perfect presents, spending money we don’t have and the stress of being with people we put up with once a year.

So without eliminating the fun of the holidays, let’s work on finding some balance so January is a little easier to manage. All it takes is a little planning. So here are my 10 things you can do to be balanced this holiday season:

1. Have a budget.  It’s not easy to buy lots of presents if you aren’t paying your bills.  Do yourself a favor and don’t go overboard.  Plan what a feasible budget is, and stick to it.  The smart thing to do would be set up a little “Present Fund” in January each year and put away a set amount of money each month to pay for birthday and holiday presents.
2. Eat right when you can.  Don’t buy the decadent deserts when you go to the store for your weekly shopping, buy the fruits and vegetables that are seasonal now (pomegranates, grapefruits, apples, cranberries, oranges, gourds, squash).  Don’t be afraid to shop around and find the cheapest but best produce store too, it’s worth a little extra effort.  Make it a point to eat a fruit or vegetable with every meal at home, and whenever possible when you’re at a party too.




3. Spend time with the people you want to.  Yes, make it a point to spend some time this holiday season with those you actually like.  There will be the obligatory office and family parties, but the whole season does not have to be miserable.   Plan to attend at least a couple of events with people you have fun with.
4. Go to bed early one night a week.  We’re all super busy and cramming as much as we can into this month, but do yourself a favor (and all of us around you) and go to bed early at least one night a week so that you won’t get sick or be a zombie by the time the holidays actually arrive (I can remember several Christmas’s where I was sick.  It’s no fun!).
5. Drink lots of water.  With all the running around and alcoholic beverages we could all use extra water.  Drink an extra bottle or glass or two a day to make up for it.  It will also help you keep up with the brisk pace of the holidays.  Keep one with you at all times so you don’t even have to think about it.
6. Plan date nights.  Holidays can bring out the beast in each of us.  It’s easy to snap at your partner just because they’re there, even if it’s not their fault.  So even though your schedule is super busy plan at least 1 date night where just the two of you can get out and get coffee, see a movie or visit a holiday themed event near you.
7. Spend time just with your family.  The holidays are a great time to be with friends and extended family, but there are also lots of family fun activities to do.  You can bake cookies, read A Christmas Carol and watch a Charlie Brown Christmas together.  You can decorate the house together too, and even divide up to wrap presents for each other!  There are also lots of fun things you can do together in your community.  Many towns have “home for the holidays” celebrations with a special parade, events, and open houses at some of the gorgeous historical homes.
8. Do something that helps you balance each day.  If reading a chapter in a mystery book helps you calm down and get centered, do that each day.  If you’re supported best by yoga or meditation, spend 15-30 minutes a day on one of those activities.  If you love bubble baths, buy yourself some holiday scented bubbles and enjoy a bath at the end of the day.
9. Spend time alone.  I know it’s the holidays, but if you want to be the life of the party you need a little alone time.  Check the kids into day care once a week or get a sitter, encourage your partner to hang with their friends one night, or just go out by yourself and have a quiet cup of coffee.
10. Remember the reason of the season. The holidays are supposed to be a time for joining together and celebrating life.  We’ve managed to turn them into mad dashes and overbooked schedules.

By December 25th many people are cynical, frustrated and tired of the holidays, but if you take it slow, intentionally create down time for yourself, and make sure that you balance your eating and your partying, hopefully this year you’ll enjoy the holidays all season long.

What are your tricks to keep your holidays healthy and balanced?

Laura Dickey is passionate about sharing hope and empowering individuals, families and businesses to live balanced and successful lives. When she’s not writing or supporting others in their life journeys, she loves to organize, read, be creative and take walks. Read more about Laura here.

Photo credit: torpore

Are you looking for a steamy romance that sets your life on fire? Maybe you’ve found the right partner, but it’s time to reignite that flame? We all want the kind of love that makes us feel vibrant, like we could conquer the world. Yet, what happens when the flame dies down to a soft kindle? What happens when life’s responsibilities and demands catch up with us? When the excitement of new love settles down, I hope you’ll balance your romance with a soulful and spiritual love that can pull you through every stage of life.

The time will come to ignite a spiritual spark in your romance. But, how will you know when it’s time? How will you get started? Here’s a few Spiritual Wellness guidelines to help:

1. Spirituality is like Sex

It shouldn’t be shared with just anyone. It’s also intimate and makes you emotionally vulnerable to your partner.

I had a roommate who was elated about a first date with a guy she had just met. At the end of the date, he asked if they could pray together. She thought this was a sign that she had met the man of her dreams. As a spiritual person, she thought it was amazing to find a man who wanted to pray with her. She took his hand and closed her eyes while he prayed a generic prayer. Then, she skipped through the front door and excitedly dished all the details about her date … including the prayer.
I immediately told her that this was not the guy for her! What kind of guy asks a girl to pray with him on a first date? Only a weirdo! The exception to this rule is the occasional and obligatory, pre-meal prayer tradition. In time, my roommate learned that I was right and she dumped the guy.

When a couple practices spiritual exercises it builds an unseen connection – a spiritual connection. Group practices such as attending church or synagogue are completely appropriate with friends and boyfriends alike. However, don’t start to pray or meditate with you partner until you . . .

2. Follow the Intimacy Chain

The “Intimacy Chain” is a term I’ve coined to describe the patterns of intimacy that result in a healthy relationship: social intimacy, mental intimacy, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and then sexual intimacy.

If you follow the intimacy chain, your romantic relationship should evolve something like this: Have fun together. Exchange ideas. Open up about your hopes and dreams. Make-out. Talk about your spirituality. Have sex. Notice that sex is last. This is because a sexual experience is always a spiritual experience. Even when you intend for sex to be casual, it’s still spiritual. You can’t change this truth. It just is.

When is the time to start a spiritual connection? The appropriate time is somewhere between making out and sex, assuming you first have a mental-emotional connection with the person.

3. A Spiritual Spark Begins with Interest.

To start your spiritual connection . . . Talk. Talk. Talk. Then, talk some more. It’s important that your spiritual connection begin with an interest in each other. Before practicing any spiritual exercises with your partner, ask important questions that reveal his or her priorities and preferences. Ask questions like:

• What religion do you practice?
• How do you prioritize spiritual growth?
• What is your plan for maintaining your spirituality?
• What spiritual practices do you enjoy?
• What spiritual practices are you curious about, or would like to try?

4. Honor Your Spiritual Self

Just because you can talk to your partner about spirituality doesn’t mean he’s the guy for you! This is a loud warning to the ladies! You must be true to your spiritual self.

Once you’ve listened to your partner with an open heart and mind, you must assess whether you are truly spiritually compatible. This is a difficult decision to make if we’ve followed the “Intimacy Chain.” No one wants to say ‘goodbye’ to someone they connect with socially, mentally and emotionally. But, in time, your soul will no longer be able to hide the truth. If you’re looking for “the one” then you must be willing to honor your spiritual self.

5. Spirituality is Like Dating

Let the man lead. When dating, it’s best for the man to take the lead. He should always plan the first date, and also set the pace for the second date. After a few dates, the woman reciprocates and shows interest by planning a few outings. Ladies must be patient, and men have to step-up. It’s a tradition that leads to a balanced, healthy relationship. Remember this principle when beginning to practice your spirituality.

Ladies, you can take the lead on sparking the conversation. Just don’t take the lead when it comes to follow through. Instead, ask a question that probes the man to action. Ask something like: What is your plan for establishing a spiritual connection between us? Hint: He probably doesn’t have a plan. But, now you’ve planted a seed. Follow up with him later. Then, be patient.

6. Men Need a Battle Plan

Men, you’re probably thinking: What’s the plan! First, assess the content of your previous conversations. What spiritual priorities do you share? What interests do you wish to explore? Then, think of ways that you can incorporate these into your dating relationship. Establishing a spiritual connection should start with simple building blocks. You can opt to have a more intense spiritual connection as the relationship grows, or you can keep things simple. Remember, a spiritual connection isn’t something you conquer. It’s something you enjoy. To get started:

• Volunteer together at a homeless shelter (social-spiritual), or
• Attend a religious gathering, and then talk about your experience (mental-spiritual)

Once you feel comfortable with social-spiritual and mental-spiritual exercises, go a little deeper by praying or meditating together. This builds intimacy, so be sure you’re ready to take the next step in the relationship.

7. Women Heat it Up!

Once a man has ignited a spiritual spark, it’s the ladies who heat it up! Woman are typically more spiritually tuned-in that men. We are intuitive, emotional and spiritually creative. So, ladies, don’t make your man carry the spiritual torch alone. Bring some spice to the table. Once he’s initiated prayer, it’s your turn. Take him to a meditation workshop, write a prayer list or practice hearing God. Don’t push him, just open a few doors.

For your spiritual relationship to remain balanced, let it be sparked by the man, but fueled by both the man and woman. During difficult times, your spirituality will be challenged. Either partner should be prepared to step in and provide spiritual leadership to the relationship. If you build spirituality into your relationship at the proper time, you’ll develop a romance that can conquer any hurdle.

Angie Schuller Wyatt hosts The Spiritual Wellness Minute on FamilyNet TV. She is the creator of Spiritual Wellness, a blog that helps people build healthy relationships, find inner healing and learn to hear God. She is a professional counselor, spiritual guide, and granddaughter of the infamous Possibility Thinking founder Dr. Robert H. Schuller.

Photo credit: Elizabeth Scott Charleston wedding photography

Is it the number of kids you have? 
Is it the length of time you’ve been together? 
Is it how much you enjoy each other’s company? 
Is it the delicious food your partner can cook?

Some of these do help you to build your relationships, but there’s something that makes a bigger impact on the success and longevity of a relationship. The secret to a great, and balanced, relationship is simple: communication. 

While there are many things you can do to grow and develop your relationship, nothing is as crucial and binding or divisive as communication.  If you’re not satisfied with your current relationship, the first thing you should look at is the communication that you two have.  But before you decide that you’ve done all the communicating you possibly can with your partner, let’s take another look at communication.  Clear your mind of all things you have heard about communication from relationship experts, family members and counselors and consider these ideas with a fresh mind and heart.

Step 1. Do you know what communication is?

Let’s start with what communication is not.  It is not you telling your partner what to do.  It isn’t your partner yelling at you.  It isn’t one of you setting up a bunch of ground rules.  Communication isn’t a one way street.  Unfortunately, in a lot of relationships it feels exactly like this.  It feels as if you’re not being heard, that your partner doesn’t care about what you’re trying to tell them or what you need. Let’s assume that your partner does actually care about you and the relationship. In that case, there needs to be a transformation, and balancing, of your relationship, which starts in learning how to communicate well with each other.

The biggest priority is that together you have to agree that you’re going to stop talking, telling or yelling and start communicating.  You simply can’t have an effective, balanced or happy relationship or expect you or your partner to listen or do something if one of you is talking, telling or yelling at the other.  Sit down with your partner, and a mediator, counselor or coach if necessary, and express that you would like to work on communicating better with each other.

Step 2. Get prepared

You also need to know what your actual needs are before you can communicate them.  You’d be surprised how many people just go around saying they want a better partner but what they really want is 10 peaceful minutes alone.  If you’re not sure what your actually trying to communicate,  sit down and write down your needs, priorities, responsibilities and wants.  Your list should include time for your kids, for work, to be with your partner, to cook and eat, to exercise and time to be alone and rejuvenate yourself.  It should also include time to communicate with and meet the needs of your partner.

Step 3. Get clear

Once you’re clear on what you actually need to be a functioning, happy, responsible human being, and partner, you need to express them clearly.  You could say something like: “I need you to help me have 10 minutes each day to be quiet and alone,”  “I need you to help me get out one night each month with my friends,” “I need you to actually look at me when you get home from work,”  or “I need you to help me get the kids ready for school every Tuesday because I have a lot of meetings on Tuesdays.”  Here you’re not just saying “You need to help me with the kids” or “You don’t like me,”  you’re communicating clearly exactly what you need.

Step 4. Listen (really!)

If you want to be listened to and have your needs met, you need to respect the communications of your partner.  When they come to you and say “Can you help me sort the receipts for our bills each month” or “The kids really miss seeing you during the week,” you need to actually stop and listen to what they’re saying.  Look at them as they communicate what is on their heart, listen to what they’re saying and don’t laugh at them or brush off their concerns or requests.  Sit down together to come up with a plan that balances both of your needs, priorities, responsibilities and wants.

Step 5. Walk the Talk

Then, most importantly, you both need to actually do what you’ve agreed to do. If you agree to sort the bills, set up a filing system that works for both of you.  If you agree to spend more time with the kids, set up a schedule so that both of you are spending more time with the kids but not neglecting what else needs to be done.  Plan how you will meet your needs together and then follow through.

If you can both agree to communicate in your relationship, not only will you have a healthier, more satisfying relationship, your whole life will become more balanced and supported because you’re working together to create the life that you both want. There won’t be any more confusion about who wants or doesn’t want what or what dislikes or struggles you or your partner. The feeling that you’re not being heard won’t be there anymore either. 

In the upcoming days I encourage you to sit down with your partner and evaluate your relationship.  Do you just talk or are you communicating? You’ll be amazed at the difference communication will make in your relationship.

Laura Dickey is passionate about sharing hope and empowering individuals, families and businesses to live balanced and successful lives. When she’s not writing or supporting others in their life journeys, she loves to organize, read, be creative and take walks. Read more about Laura here.

Photo credit: purplemattfish

Related reading:

• The Happy Couple Cheat Sheet: 15 Steps to a Balanced and Happy Marriage (Relationship)
• How to Build a Marriage (Relationship) that Will Help You Grow in Life
• How Individual Hobbies Can Strengthen Relationships

The other night, my partner, JB, told me he might not be able to attend a wedding with me next fall because of a golf tournament he will want to watch on TV. I was brushing my teeth at the time, so I thankfully had a few seconds to stifle my initial response of “absolutely not” to something a little more inviting for discussion.

But this interaction is representative of a common issue we deal with in our partnership – balancing our individual hobbies and interests with our relationship needs. I think this is particularly salient for us as we are both in our early thirties and have had these passions and priorities in our lives for a lot longer than we have had each other!

For new couples especially, finding a balance between time together and time apart, as well as how much your partner’s interests become your own, is essential for a healthy relationship. Below are four suggestions for honoring – not changing – your individual hobbies while making them a positive aspect of a partnership instead of a point of contention.

1. Respect: Our passions and interests make us who we are and our partners as well. When JB entered my life a year ago, so did his love (and I mean, love) of golf. His commitment to early morning tee times, less-than-ideal playing conditions, and the overall frustration one endures in this game astounds me. But it also reflects the dedicated, focused and goal-oriented side of JB that I love so much. I know he feels the same way about my enthusiasm and commitment toward blogging. He sees how happy I feel when I hit the “publish” button and he would never want to keep me from something so fulfilling.
   
   Mutual respect in all areas is integral for a healthy and satisfying relationship. And showing that you value your partner’s interests is an important display of respect. If you know your partner loves to read on Saturday afternoons for a couple of hours, try not to schedule anything during that time. Of course, respect works both ways. Sometimes, there might be something that just has to be done on that Saturday afternoon. Finding a common ground means that from time to time, the hobby gets put on the backburner for the good of the relationship. I don’t commit to “couple” plans very often that would keep JB away from the golf course on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and JB appreciates that. So when I do ask him to come with me to something at that time, he happily does. He doesn’t take advantage of the respect I show for his passion, and in return, there is no resentment when our relationship needs to be the priority.

2. Reframe: Golf has provided a built-in balance in our partnership. I look at it as not something that’s taking away time JB could be spending with me, but rather as time I always have to focus on my own interests and nurturing other relationships in my life. Of course I could and do make time for these things aside from just when JB is occupied, but sometimes it’s easy to lose focus, especially in the excitement of a new relationship.
   
   Having healthy dosages of “me” time in a relationship helps make the “together” time even better. Filling our soul with what we love to do means we aren’t looking for a partner to do it for us. And when you come back together with your heart and mind full from what energizes you (it doesn’t always have to be a passion per se), you have so much more to give to your significant other. So when a partner’s hobby takes him/her away from you, fill that time doing or finding what you love to do.

3. Share: While time alone is great, one of the best ways to find balance within the relationship is to actually incorporate these interests into your time together. I had never touched a golf club (outside of miniature golf) before I met JB. But we’ve made some great memories on the golf course with him tying to teach my uncoordinated self how to hit a little white ball and us both laughing as we watch that little white ball roll about 2 feet after my “swing.” And the other day, he shyly asked me to help him set up a Google Reader. It’s wonderful to share in something that is so important to the other person. It helps you understand who they are and why they love what they do so much better.
   
   Despite the spelling, there is most definitely “me” in relationships. This New York Times article discussed various studies positing that happy marriages and partnerships are not necessarily based on putting the relationship first, but making sure your own needs for “self-expansion” — using the relationship to “accumulate knowledge and experiences” — are being met. The more self-expansion, the more satisfied partners are, the longer-lasting the relationship is. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. And learning about someone’s interests, while educating about our own, is a perfect way to have self-expansion in a relationship for reasons other than dining out.

4. Talk: This is probably the most obvious way to address this issue, but likely the one we forget to do – or forget to do effectively. Communicate with your partner. How will these different hobbies affect your lives? What will be some parameters? What are some compromises (try not to use the word “sacrifices”, it has negative connotations) that each partner is willing to make? And most importantly, let your partner tell you why he/she loves something so much and you do the same. I know that among other things, golf is an outlet for stress for JB and he needs it to decompress. Once I understood it provided that relief for him, I could see it as more than just him playing a game.

With a freshly cleaned mouth, JB and I were able to discuss and effectively resolve the aforementioned wedding/golf conflict. When two people have their own passions and can share them with each other, but also maintain them as individual priorities, the relationship is a happier place for everyone. Commit to picking up the proverbial golf club and embracing your partner’s passion and letting them into yours as well.

Caryn Statman is a 30-something daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, friend, and wannabe mother of a dog. Professionally, she helps college students figure out their careers and majors, while personally, trying to find balance in her own life. She blogs about all of these things at Balance Overload

Photo credit: kloppster

Communication and social life are a very important part of balanced living. Unfortunately a lot of times we find ourselves in situations when communication only disrupts the balance that we are looking for.

Just last week I got back from my 3 week journey to visit my family in Ukraine (this journey is the reason why you haven’t heard from me in so long.) I can tell you a lot about this journey and the difficulties of flying 23 hours with two almost-three-year-olds but it might be a topic for another post (if you want details – ask me a question through the contact form.) The reason I am mentioning this trip is because of one very close relative that I have. Actually it is my grandmother who I love a lot but I can’t spend more than 1 hour in the same room with her. She is a difficult person and during the 10 years that I lived in the same house with her I really mastered my skills of dealing with difficult people.

Do you have a person in your life who just makes you growl with anger, grind your teeth and scream inside because you cannot do anything else? I know that it is not the most balanced attitude but it can still be present in your life.

It is good if you can avoid a person who provokes such negative feelings but a lot of times it is not that easy. If you know what I am talking about then let me give you a few tips that I learned from living with my grandmother.

1. Learn to listen without arguing. Difficult people are often looking for conversations to show how important and right their opinion is. Give them the pleasure of your full attention but try to ignore any facts that you do not agree with. If you start to argue then the conversations will never end or you will end up saying something you really didn’t mean. There are no winners in any argument.
2. Bring the conversation to a positive subject. If you are stuck talking to a difficult person try to bring the conversation to a topic they feel positive about. Maybe an experience that they had in life, some possessions that they are really proud of, etc. Even if you heard this story a hundred times already it will be still easier for you to listen to it again then to fight all the negative emotions that other topics might arouse.
   My grandmother lived for 2 years in India when she was young and she is really proud of that experience. Whenever I touch the topic of India she lights up and is ready to talk to me for hours about it.
3. Try to understand them. We all have different opinions and we go through different experiences in life. A difficult person might have had a rough life or had his/her reason to become so negative and hostile. Try to understand their point of view and treat them with compassion.
4. Don’t ever-ever try to change them. If you love the difficult person then you might want to change them and show them how wrong their ways are. Unfortunately this approach won’t get you anywhere except for making you fill up with negative energy and frustration. A person can be changed only when he/she is willing to be changed. Forcing the change onto them won’t do any good. Try to show the change that you want to see in them by your own example; treat them gently, with kindness and understanding (no matter how difficult it might be.)
   Speaking about my grandmother again I was able to change her eating habits slightly by maintaining a healthy and easy diet. She thanks me a lot for showing her a few dishes that help her stomach feel better. Of course she still does not agree with my diet completely but even a small change is a big step up when you are dealing with a difficult person.
5. Focus on your inner calm. When you feel anger and frustration boiling up inside of you try to focus on your inner feeling of serenity. Think about the balance that you have already found inside of you and try to maintain it during a conversation with a difficult person. Think about something positive that you have in your life and try to maintain this inner feeling of balance throughout the entire conversation with a difficult person.
6. Always speak in a calm and confident voice. The timbre of your voice has a tremendous influence on people around you because it can transfer your inner feelings to them. Difficult people often find joy and satisfaction in getting others out of balance or bringing them into a state of anger and chaos. The more unbalanced your voice and speech get the more they are going to sting you. Keep the conversation quiet and soft and you will be able to avoid major conflicts.
7. Turn on your inner radio. Sometimes the best way to get around difficult people is to ignore them. Imagine that you are listening to a radio and you hear something that you do not agree with. You won’t be calling the radio station just to argue with them, you will probably ignore the message or switch to a different station. While you cannot change the station with a difficult person you can treat them the same way – listen to them but let the information go past you. Preserve your inner energy and balance.
8. Don’t suppress your emotions. A lot of times we feel that getting angry at a difficult person (especially if it is a family member) is not the right thing to do, we feel that we have no right to be mad at them. In this case we start suppressing our emotions giving way to stress and constant nagging feeling inside of us. It is important to learn to acknowledge our emotions, maybe even give them a name and let these emotions go through you without settling inside of you. It is always a good idea to talk the situation over with a close person or write it down without making any judgments.
9. Find your way out. If you are planning a meeting with a difficult person always time it so that you have a reason to leave before you feel like you are going to explode. It is also always a good idea to have a few polite ways to end a conversation if you cannot leave: “I need time to think about your ideas,” “Tastes differ and I appreciate that you shared your opinion with me,” “Let’s continue this conversation later,” “I will definitely look into it when I have time.”
10. Treat the time with a difficult person like an exercise. Dealing with difficult people requires a lot of patience and self control. Think of your time with a difficult person as the ultimate challenge. If you can’t master it the first time you always have another attempt.

I wish I could say that I have enough self control to deal with difficult people without conflicts all the time but I don’t. I am a human after all (just like you are.) Most of the time I try to keep my balance in communication with difficult people but every once in a while a subject will come up that I feel strongly about.

If I am trying to convey a particular thought to a difficult person I make sure that I

• speak in a confident voice and avoid a defensive tone,
• agree with a kernel of truth in the complaint or argument of a difficult person,
• have facts and really persuasive arguments on my side,
• avoid raising my voice or letting the emotions take over the conversation,
• listen to what the difficult person is saying and ask questions (this leads to the difficult person’s own better conclusions.)

If you have to deal with difficult people too or know somebody who might need help in this are please share this article (look to your right and you will find a small sharing widget.) I will be also glad to hear your tips on how to deal with these people – just send me a quick note via email. And when you have to face a difficult person next time don’t forget to

Keep it balanced!

Photo credit: The Round Peg

Image by Auzigog

Really, marriage is the most important relationship that we have in life and this relationship must help us grow too. After all, isn’t our spouse supposed to be our best friend in the first place?

We’ve all probably been a relationship that makes us feel like we are suffocating in our own skin. I know I had a relationship like that (I can’t believe I stayed in it for 3 painful years. But we all need to learn somehow!) and I am happy that I got out of it when I did. Of course when we are talking about marriage simply quitting is not an option.

Marriage (or a serious relationship that you think can lead to marriage) must be a happy coexistence of two people who help each other and support each other. They argue sometimes but they still love each other and forgive no matter what. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but any marriage is definitely a perfect example of balance in life.

I am not a marriage counselor and I don’t have any great life experiences to support any of my ideas (after all my husband and I have been together only for three and a half years). But I am absolutely happy with my marriage in spite of all the life tests that my husband and I had to go through together. I feel that right now both of us are growing in life and I love this feeling of freedom and gentle support that both of us share.
If you are married or if you are just dating somebody please ask yourself a question, “Does this relationship help me grow? Do I give my partner enough room for growth?”

Please share your own thoughts about it in the comment section below and read what I believe is important for a marriage that lets you grow in life.

1. Love. Okay, this is pretty obvious and yet this is so important. Love gives us inspiration in life that is vital for growth. Love must be nurtured no matter whether you’ve been together for 4 months or 32 years. This love will give you wings to fly to the top of the highest mountain. Make sure that you always remember why you fell in love with your spouse, what is so special about him/her and always make room for some romance together.
2. Passion. We pretty much agreed last week that passion in life is an essential part of life balance. Passion in marriage is just another way of finding your passion in life. I know that some say that passion dies over the years and gives way to friendship, love and deep respect. I want to believe that my passion won’t die any time soon because it makes married life so much fun!
   If you can maintain passion in marriage then you will be able to maintain the fire of passion in other areas of your life. Don’t let this passion disappear because your life turns into a boring routine. Try new things, be unexpected, be irresponsible sometimes and remember the excitement of the very first kiss you and your partner had.
3. Don’t be a martyr. This is especially true for women. As a martyr you might want to do something for your spouse exactly when you don’t feel like doing anything and then say to yourself “I did it for him/her and he/she didn’t even appreciate my effort. I am giving everything I have to this person even though he/she completely does not deserve my love.” This type of kindness and giving thrives on sadness and negative emotions. You can’t grow like that.
4. Have a hobby or an interest together. My husband and I have a lot in common and we love to do a lot of things together. We love exercising together, we love our healthy lifestyle, we love exploring nature and we love working online. We always have something fun to do together and we do not limit our time to late nights on the coach in front of a TV or a once-a-month trips to a restaurant.
   When you and your spouse have a common interest you will understand each other better. This interest can give you room for growth and it will be just one more thread holding you together.
5. Give each other some breathing room. While doing something together is important, doing something alone is equally essential. Both husbands and wives can have projects and interests of their own and they must respect each other’s time alone. You are two different people and you both deserve having your own passions and goals.
6. Be honest. Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship. It will let you avoid and get over any conflicts easily, it will let you be open with each other and discuss what is important for each of you. Honesty and sincere communication will let you understand each other no matter what. You will be able to communicate your needs and plans for growth to your spouse. Honesty is really one of the virtues anyone should strive for (in my opinion) and marriage is the best place to start.
7. Be generous. You have probably heard that generosity contributes greatly to the feelings of happiness and general satisfaction with life. This generosity must start in your own marriage. It means giving your time without expecting any dividends, giving your love, giving your attention, giving unexpected presents (do you know how great any woman feels when she gets flowers just because?) and giving your understanding. At first it might feel like you are in a one-man performance but if your spouse truly cares about you then he/she will do the same for you. This generosity can later be transformed towards people around you (helping your friends and family, donating to charities, volunteering) and it will give you all kinds of possibilities for growth.
8. Ask yourself “Am I doing enough? How can I be a better partner? How can I be a better friend? How can I be a better lover?” These are opportunities for growth to begin with. We all have some room to improve and maybe this is what you need in your marriage. Marriage is a relationship between two people and both of them are responsible for making it work. Talk to your spouse openly and ask how in his/her opinion you can be a better partner. You might discover something new about yourself or your spouse.
9. Be financially open. Finances are not an important part of growth but any relationship can suffer if this topic is left undiscussed. You can’t grow if all you think about is who brought the most money home or how to get out of debt that your spouse is constantly increasing. There is no one-fit-all way of setting up family finances and only the two of you can work out the best plan for you. But before you can work anything out you must talk and you must be on the same page about money. Here is a helpful article that talks about here and here)
10. Be a positive and grateful person. If you want to grow in life then changes will happen only inside of you. You are the only one responsible for your life and how it will turn out. Yes, marriage is important but only you can make it work.
    Start by being positive around your partner, be grateful that he/she is in your life and appreciate what you have. If you feel that you are tired of your partner, just write down everything you love about him/her, everything you are thankful for and look at the bright side of your relationship. After all, every rose has its thorns. Only you can decide what is more important to you in a relationship.
11. Share spiritual beliefs. Spirituality is the ultimate way of growth. My husband and I are both Christians and I feel that our faith strengthens our marriage and at the same time shows us the way how we can grow in life. I know that not everybody shares religious beliefs (and I am not here to preach to you) but at least you can look at religion as an option. This is the only spiritual way for me but I know that there are others and you can look into them too. (You can find great resources on spirituality here and here)
12. Be friends. Marriages based on friendship and similarities tend to be happier and less couples end up in divorce. I know that opposites attract but sometimes attraction is just not enough to hold the marriage together. No matter how your relationship has started you can always make an effort to be friends, to share common interests, to support and understand your spouse and to be there when he/she needs you.
13. Help your spouse to grow. I know that sometimes a relationship can feel stagnant and “dead-endy” (remember, the first relationship I was talking about earlier?). Put your effort into helping your spouse find his/her passion in life, support their dreams and gently try to show them what a life of growth is. It is not easy and it will require a lot of effort on your part but it might be very beneficial for your own growth. Just don’t be too pushy and do everything with love and care.

I believe that marriage is not something that just works out without any effort. Any relationship means compromise, adjustments and balance.

I know that my marriage has made me a better person and I am very thankful to my husband for supporting my dreams and being patient with me (only a very patient man could live with a stubborn gal like me ) Does your marriage (relationship) help you grow in life? Thanks for sharing all your wonderful thoughts in the comments below.

Keep it balanced!

Image by Real Estreya

The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships.
Abraham Lincoln

When was the last time you talked to your best friend? How did you feel after that? I always feel inspired and uplifted when I talk to my best friends (I am very lucky to have a few very close friends in my life.)

People around us and especially our friends have a magnificent influence on our lives. They can cheer us up or bring us down, they can help us find our path in life or they can mislead us, they can be happy with us or they can spoil our happiness with jealousy and envy. These people can help us grow in life or they can be a heavy burden constantly pushing us down.

What kinds of people surround you? I know that sometimes it is difficult to answer this question. We all want to believe that our friends and people around us are the best but sometimes it is not so. People change and as you change over the years your friends change too.

If you are following a path of growth then you must be prepared to grow your relationships too. It means being a better friend in some situations, it means letting go off some relationships and it means being open to new relationships and friendships.

My life has changed a lot in the past two years and my relationships have changed a lot too. Getting married, becoming a mom, working from home, pursuing my passion and moving to a different country – all these factors changed my life completely. I know that I am not the same person that I was before and it means that all my relationships have been put to a test. If you start living a life that is completely different from the lives of your friends you will see how your entire world will shift and how desperately you will need to build new types of relationships.

1. Be open to meet new people. No matter whether your life has changed or not, always be open to let new people into your life. They are like a fresh breeze on a hot day: they can inspire you, they can give you new ideas, they can become your new best friends, they can show you the world from a completely different angle or they can just fly by unnoticed. Don’t limit yourself to the circle of people you already know because then you will limit your own ways to grow.
2. Make sure that you are a friend that you want to have. Are you always there for your friends? Do you help them? Do you actually listen to them? Can you accept and understand the changes that happened or are happening in their lives? Do you enjoy giving as much as receiving? Answer these questions for yourself first and see if maybe you are the one who needs to grow to the level of your friends.
3. Explore new ways to make friends. New people won’t just miraculously appear in your life. If you want to meet somebody then you need to start exploring the world. You can make friends online, you can start a new hobby, you can volunteer or you can just start talking to a stranger who seem interesting to you. Be the one who starts the relationship, not the one who is waiting for something to happen.
4. Let go of some people. Some people around us do nothing but hold us back. If you have a new idea then they know exactly why it won’t work. If you are happy then they bring you down. If you offer them help then they use you. They are the tag-along luggage that you are trying to take anywhere with you but that does not have anything valuable for your trip. Have enough courage to let go of these people (even if you knew them from kindergarten). It does not mean that you have to stop talking to them completely, just make a gradual change and decrease the amount of time that you spend together.
5. Help your friends to grow. When you feel that you are on the right path of growth try to help your friends to find their path. Don’t preach to them and don’t make them follow your steps in life (your path is right only for you) but be there for them if they have questions. Be the best example for them without bragging or making them feel uncomfortable. Help them find their passion; give them support when they are making a risky move, encourage them when they feel down. This is what friends are for.
6. Shift your “friendship focus.” You know a lot of people and some of them are your friends while others are just your acquaintances. Well, they can switch places in your life.
   After I became a mom I realized that I didn’t have the same interests with one of my close friends (no more partying, no more long shopping trips, less time to spend together) but I have discovered that another friend (rather an acquaintance at that time) was going through the same changes as I did. Naturally she has moved to the top of my friends list because we had a lot in common, we knew each other for a long time and we had similar interests and problems in life (how to make you child sleep through the night, how to stay sane after a week with almost no sleep, how to find time for some adult communication, etc.)
7. Look for people who help you focus in life. Focusing is one of the essential attributes of growth. Make friends with people who can help you focus and get closer with the people who help you concentrate in life.
8. Look for specific traits in your friends. There is a saying that our friends are just the reflection of our own traits or traits that we want to develop in ourselves. Make a list of growth points for yourself and look for people who represent all those qualities. You will naturally adopt a new behavior simply by being with those people.
9. Be genuine. No matter what you do and what friends you make, always be genuine. You can grow but you can’t become a different person overnight. Pretence and superficial behavior will only destroy you as a person. People around you deserve to know who you really are and make their own decision whether they want to be your friends or not. If you are genuine the right people will be naturally drawn to you.
10. Keep it simple. Don’t get too serious about the whole friendship thing. Laugh, have fun, and be the fountain of energy and happiness. This is what friendship is all about – having a great time together and helping each other be the best you can be. Isn’t that simple?

Did you have to go through a major friendship change? Do your friends help you grow in life? Are you looking for new friends right now? Let’s connect here and see if we can build relationships that will help us grow.

Keep it balanced!

Image by Waechor

Happiness is not possible without healthy relationships and communication with people around you (unless you dream of being a hermit of course.) Having friends or being able to make friends easily can make the biggest difference when you move to a different city or country, when you take a new job or when you go through any change in your life.

Do you sometimes feel that you just do not meet the right people? Maybe the people around you are difficult, or negative, or they don’t like you. Maybe you just cannot find a common thread with them. You are a great person but you don’t feel in balance with the people around you.

I know that most of us felt this way at one point in life or another. I know I did. This is a difficult situation to be in but I have found that sometimes it was my fault. There are a few traits that can prevent us from making any friends at all.

Have you watched the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days”? If you haven’t then this is a funny romantic comedy where a girl (a journalist) is given a task to write an article on how to lose a guy in 10 days. The guy that she picks was challenged by his friends to make his next relationship last no matter what. Here we go, she does the most insane things to get rid of him but he is still with her. Of course, the movie has a happy ending and they realize that they were meant to be together…

I told you about the movie because sometimes we behave like that girl from the movie. We do everything to “repel” people around us but unfortunately these people do not want to stick to us like the guy from the movie. I am going to give you 6 rules to live by if you want to get rid of all your friends and never get any new ones.

1. Be judgmental. Make sure that you judge people from the very first second that you see them. Look at their race, weight, religion, beliefs, behavior, looks and make immediate judgments based on that information. After all, you know better what a true life really is.
2. Preach and behave like you know all the answers (even if you don’t.) If you have something on your mind, make sure to say that. You have more experience and knowledge than anybody else on this planet, never forget this! You have the right to give advice to anybody (especially when they are not asking for it) and to let everyone know that your way of living (working, raising kids etc.) is the only way.
3. Be negative. Make sure that you watch news all the time and keep a record of the most negative news. Whenever you have a couple of free minutes let everyone know about bad problems with politics, about global warming and other environmental disasters. Don’t forget to mention to your friend who is flying away for a vacation about the recent plane crash and how many people died there. If you can’t find any bad news to share then you can give your critique of your friend’s latest business idea (he or she must know that it will be a complete failure) or mention that your other friend looks terrible after gaining a few pounds (even if he or she hasn’t, they will still be more mindful about their eating next time. You are doing them a favor after all.)
4. Be irresponsible. If your friends are having a party at 6:00 then you can be late. Don’t bother to bring any refreshments or snacks (even if they asked you) because you are too busy to worry about those things. Don’t bother to call your friends or colleagues if you are running late or if you can’t come to a meeting. You can cancel any appointment 10 minutes after you were supposed to be there because everyone should consider your busy schedule.
5. Be disrespectful. If you smoke, please make sure that you smoke around your friends freely even if they do not smoke. If you have dogs, then let them run free on the beaches and in any public places, bark and jump on people passing by. After all, if they don’t annoy you then there is no way that they could annoy anyone else. Talk loud at the movies and laugh in the libraries. You have the right to do whatever you want to wherever you want to.
6. Be a toxic person. A toxic person never says thank you, always looks for ways to argue, never helps anybody and generally releases toxic fumer like an old car without emission controls. You can find more signs of a toxic person in a great article by Dragos Roua 13 Tips to Avoid being a toxic person.

I hope you’ve grasped the irony in the rules above

I want you to be in balance with the people around you. I want all those people to appreciate you for who you are and to see the great person you are.
I want you to be happy in your social environment and I want that environment to be supportive, friendly and positive.

Do you have your own rules that help you make friends and maintain friendships over the years? Please share them in the comments.

Keep it balanced!

Image by Caro Wallis

Valentine’s Day is the most controversial holiday of the year in my opinion. It brings happiness, warmth and love to some people and at the same time it brings sadness and feelings of loneliness to the others. It is THAT time of the year when the entire world splits into three different groups. I am pretty sure that each of us has been a member of one of these three groups at a certain point in life. Each group deserves its own plan for Valentine’s Day and I am going to show you how to make the most out of your V day. Just pick the group that you belong to and see what I have in the box for you this holiday

The first group is people who are happy with their partners. Their biggest problem now is how to come up with the most romantic plan for V Day or how to buy the best present. It is even more likely that they do not even have this problem because they match each other so perfectly that they have already planned the most amazing day of the year. They love each other and they do not need any artificial and material signs that will prove their feelings for each other. They are happy in their present state and they are drunk with the fumes of love and passion.

This first group does not need any advice or help so I will just let them enjoy each other and won’t take any of their precious time together away. Have a great holiday and treasure every minute together!

The second group is couples who have lost the spark. Valentine’s Day for them is the day that brings a lot of headaches. They are together but at the same time they are not really together. They have lost the initial spark that brought them together and now they are just two people living with each other. V Day is an occasion for them to apologize or to try to patch up their relationship. A lot of times this day brings only more misunderstandings because he forgot to buy flowers, she has a headache and is not in the mood for that (you know what I mean), he didn’t make reservations and all the restaurants have at least a 2-hour wait now. These couples need some help and creativity to make their Valentine’s Day a happy day.

Here are my suggestions for the couples who have lost their spark but still want to be together.

1. Before you start planning your Valentine’s Day take some time to read The Happy Couple Cheat Sheet. Do you think that you can improve in any of these areas?
2. Remember the old days. In order to have the best ever Valentine’s day you need to be in the mood for it. You already know what it feels like to be in love and burn with passion; just get these feelings out of the dark closet of your memories, dust them off a little bit and enjoy!
3. Change yourself. We all know that sometimes our significant other wants to see some changes in us. Why not try it for a day or a week? Be the person he/she wants you to be and see if you like it or not.
4. Really mean your apologies. If you are one of the people looking for a I-am-so-sorry-that-I-did-not- …- type Valentine card then add some actions to this card. One card or a dozen of roses will not substitute for all the hours not spent during the year, for the support and help not given and for the words not heard. Make a real commitment to change something in your relationship and notify your partner about your plans. Do not wait until Valentine’s Day to start your plan, start right now.
5. Make a real effort to ignite passion between the two of you. I won’t give you any advice on this one because you are the one who knows what turns you and your loved one on. Plan something amazing, prepare for it and have the best time together!
6. Kill the routine. Routine is the worst thing that can happen to a couple so just go crazy and do something unexpected. Go out to a nice restaurant for breakfast, sleep in and be irresponsible, do not cook and wear your pajamas all day long (I would suggest that you do this only if you stay at home for the entire day )
7. Rent romantic comedies and dramas and watch those all day long. Before you do this please make sure that your partner likes these type movies or you’ll end up having a very lonely Valentine’s Day.
8. Make an effort to be happy together. Do not argue, talk only about positive things, do not nag each other and concentrate on the present moment of your relationship.
9. Write a love letter (or a love paragraph). Writing down your feelings and presenting them to your partner can be the most romantic thing that you can do this Valentine’s Day. If you do not know how to start then here are a few examples that can inspire you: How to Write the Perfect Love Letter and Love Letters (this is actually a short story but it is so touching!)
10. Be grateful. A lot of misunderstandings in a relationship arise when partners take each other for granted. They notice the tiniest things that went wrong (he didn’t take the trash out again, she forgot to buy beer at the store) but they are completely ignorant to the good things. I am talking about the situations when she fixes a wonderful supper (even though she does it every evening) and he does not mention it. He makes a bed because she likes when the bedroom looks nice but she pays attention to the pair of socks lying in the bathroom. He buys her flowers but she says that she does not like this kind. This day and this week be grateful and mention to your partner every little thing that he/she does for you. And thank him/her generously.
11. Watch Fireproof. This movie was a big hit last year and it is one of my favorite movies now. It is a Christian movie so if you do not feel comfortable with it then you can skip this tip. The movie gives the best advice on how to save your relationship and to bring passion, love and care back into it. Watch the movie Fireproof and read the book The Love Dare in order to rediscover your love and passion for each other.

The third group is the singles. Single people usually have two reactions to V Day. The first one is “What is all the hype about? It is just a day that is not even a real holiday.” The second reaction is “I am so miserable and lonely. Nobody loves me and never will.” Even singles can have a great time on Valentine’s Day and they do not need to be sad this day.

Here is how single people can make the most out of their Valentine’s Day:

1. Be your own Valentine. Valentine’s Day is all about love so this year you can share some love for yourself. Do something that you’ve been dreaming about for a long time, have a mini retreat or go on a mini vacation, pamper and take care of yourself as much as possible.
2. Enjoy being single. A friend of mine Amit Sodha wrote a great article on why it is great to be single. Read it here – How to Be Single and Enjoy Every Second.
3. Become a special person. If you are still feeling miserable because you are single then maybe it is time for you to change something about yourself. Another blogging friend of mine Arvind Devalia wrote a great guide on how to do this – Be Special to Find the Special One.
4. Spread love and positivity on people around you. If you cannot share love with your second half then you can share this love with regular people around you. Be generous this day, help somebody, smile to people you meet and generally be a lovable person.
5. Have the best ever singles party. Get together with other single friends of yours and have fun. There are things that women can do only with women (go shopping, drink wine or coffee with chocolates and spend two hours talking about shoes and new trends in haircuts while watching the entire collection of Sex and the City) and men can do only with men (watch football or a race, play video games and go out to the speed park ) so enjoy your chance of doing it.
6. Cook an amazing dinner for one. Being single can be a great way to do and eat what YOU love. You can have an entire bucket of ice cream topped with pickles (okay, I admit, I love to eat ice cream with pickles at the same time. It’s weird but sooooo good) or you can cook your favorite meal that your ex-boyfriends/girlfriend hated. Here is a great way to get excited about cooking for one.
7. Forget about it. Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday that has been popularized to a gigantic size just to make us spend money on flowers, cards, presents, trips to the restaurant etc. Just ignore all the hustle and bustle at the stores and on TV and enjoy your normal life. Think about how much money you are saving this year.

What group do you belong to this year! Do you have any creative ideas or tips that you would like to share? Comments are open for a discussion. Have a great Valentine’s Day!

Keep it balanced!

P.S. After reading this article my husband got a little bit scared because I came up with so many ideas for the couples who lost their spark. I just wanted to say that I happily belong to the first group and I am planning to stay there happily ever after.