Image by all-i-oli ( Jordi@photos )

If you are striving for simplicity in life then you probably know everything there is to know about decluttering your work space, your house, your garage, your closet etc. However, one area that needs even more uncluttering efforts is your lifestyle.

All our possessions are just a reflection of our inner self. If you are simple and organized inside then you will not have any problems keeping your desk clutter-free or surviving with just half of your wardrobe. On the other hand, if your thoughts are a mess and your habits are as far from being healthy as a cow is from flying then your house will reflect the exact thing that is going on inside of you.

Cleaning up your lifestyle is an essential part of bringing your life in balance. Get rid of everything you do not need, add something that you are missing and here you go: a perfectly balanced life right in front of you!

1. Clean up your language. Every day we speak, communicate, sometimes yell, cry, whisper, joke, write, read and of course we use language for all these activities. Conversation is a huge part of our lives and while one conversation can cheer you up another one can totally bring you down.
   Our tongue has tremendous power to influence the way we feel, act and live. Pay attention to how you speak. Do you cuss often? Do you often say things you do not really mean? Do you hurt people with your words? Do you hurt yourself with your words?
   Simplify your language by saying only things that you mean and things that matter.
   It is amazing how much more balance you can bring into your life by watching your language:
   • Foul language reminds me of fast food. Almost everyone knows that it is not healthy but some people just keep doing it because they are used to it. Cussing and vulgar language can be acceptable in a variety of settings ranging from locker rooms and bedrooms to situations when you have just dropped an iron on your foot. However, making it part of your daily language simply does not make any sense to me. By learning to control your language you will also learn to control your emotions.
   • You will show respect to your loved ones and learn to handle conflicts better if you just watch what you are saying. I know that sometimes anyone can get a little hot-headed and say something like “I always knew that you are a loser!” “My mama was right; I should have never married you!” “You care only about yourself!” It hurts to hear things like that, especially to hear these things from a person you love. Many couples can enjoy a more balanced relationship simply by learning to control their tongues.
   • Stop using negative generalizations like “I always fail,” “Things never work out for me,” “I can never be a creative person,” “I am just not lucky.” Focus on things that are positive and ignore any remarks that you might hear from people around you. A lot of times you are what you say.
2. Clean up addictions. “Addiction is something bad related to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or gambling.” Is it what you are thinking? While these addictions definitely have to be cleaned up from your lifestyle there are others that seem harmless at first. It can be Internet, food, TV, video games, work, shopping, you name it! You can identify addictions in your lifestyle if you look at all activities during your day. Is there something that you just have to do and you feel a constant desire to do that? Maybe you’ve heard from your friends or relatives that you spend too much time doing … but you ignore those remarks constantly.
   Addictions tend to suck up your time and money and they leave you feeling empty, low on energy and not satisfied. Be honest with yourself and if you identify signs of addictions in your life make an effort to get rid of them.
3. Clean up priorities. Priorities are a wonderful thing to have but not when you have too many of them. I don’t think they have created a superman or superwoman serum yet, so if you want to feel balanced you need to make your choices. You can’t be a perfect parent, build an amazing career, make tons of money, spend a lot of time with your friends, work out daily at the gym and have enough time for self-growth and hobbies. Some things have to be at the top of your list while others can be left behind (at least for a while.) When you choose the right priorities everything will fall in place and you will feel satisfied with the choices that you make in life.
4. Clean up your diet. What you eat affects how you feel, how much energy you have and how healthy you are (of course!) I believe that a clean diet can benefit both body and soul and bring your mind in balance with your body. Here are a few steps to clean up your diet:
   • no fast-food
   • eliminate highly-processed foods
   • add as much fresh produce as possible
   • go organic if you can afford it
   • read labels (do not buy anything with trans fats (partially hydrogenated oils), high fructose corn syrup or long lists of chemicals that you cannot pronounce)
   • try to cook most of your meals from scratch using only healthy ingredients
   • eliminate sugary drinks and drink as much water as possible.
5. Clean up your goals. Goals are similar to priorities. When there are a couple of goals in different areas of your life you can manage them without sacrificing your sanity. When your lifestyle turns into an endless to-do list then you feel out of control and out of balance. Focus on the things that matter the most right now. Set up a goal and break it down into smaller steps and tackle it just one step at a time. Reevaluate your goals after comparing them with your life priorities.

A well-organized and clean lifestyle is like a perfectly organized house. Living like that is easy, comfortable and enjoyable. It is a huge step to your overall life balance. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Keep it balanced!

Image by Robert Mölzer

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Albert Einstein

When you are moving through your life you often need more than one resource to keep you in balance. Actually most of the time you will have to change your resources (or tools) because your life keeps changing all the time.

I want to share with you my favorite websites (mostly blogs) that help me find balance and inspiration in life. I must admit that I came up with the idea of this post while I was cleaning my RSS subscriptions (a task that I try to tackle every month. There are so many interesting blogs to read and so little time to do that!)

If you know any websites that help you find your balance, please mention them in the comments below (don’t be shy, you can mention your own website too ) and give some reasons why those websites are so great.

I hope that you will enjoy my picks and find some new favorites among them:

Note: These websites are not in a particular order. Number 1 is equally important in my opinion as number 14 or 5.

1. Simple Marriage. I have just recently discovered this blog and I fell in love with it immediately. I think that it is a must-read resource for anyone who is in a serious relationship or is married. Corey Allan writes in a very down-to-earth manner about all building blocks of a strong marriage (and family). Any couple can benefit from Corey’s tips and I am sure that a lot of people can save their marriage by following his advice or going through the marriage counseling courses that Corey also offers on his website. Corey does not only put his life experience into his work, he is also a Marriage and Family Therapist with a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, so he knows what he is talking about. Don’t forget to subscribe for Corey’s FREE marriage courses. There is something for every couple!
2. Dietriffic and Zen to Fitness. I have combined these two websites because both of them give excellent advice about health, fitness, weight loss and nutrition. Dietriffic is written by Melanie Thomassian (a registered dietitian) and it has a lot of soft feminine energy in it. Zentofitness is the home of Chris (a certified Personal Trainer who is currently studying Naturopathic Medicine) and it definitely has a very strong manly emphasis. Of course both of these blogs are wonderful sources of information both for men and women (no place for gender discrimination here). Check both of these websites out to find the right workouts for you and the perfect nutrition plan (I am not a big fan of the word “diet”) that will give you the body and health you have always dreamed about.
3. Productive Flourishing. Productivity can seem a little boring and dull but not when you combine it with Charlie’s creative approach. I can really feel my creative ideas flourishing after I read Charlie’s posts. Charlie also publishes a lot of amazing guest posts on his blog that deliver interesting and useful tips about productivity, creativity and work flow. ProductiveFlourishing is a great place to learn how to turn your big ideas into reality taking just one step at a time.
4. Becoming Minimalist I am not a minimalist but I enjoy simplicity in life. I would never live owning only a hundred things but at the same time I enjoy having only what I need in life. Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist shares great advice on how to live a minimalist life. Whether you want to go all the way to minimalistic living or you just want to simplify your life, you can find great tips and advice on this blog. This blog is not only about decluttering your home and learning to live with less in life, it is about seeing beyond “stuff” and finding happiness with little but absolutely amazing things in life.
5. Tiny Buddha This website is just a well of inspiration. If I am looking for a nice quote to inspire me or for a blog post that will bring my thoughts and spirit in balance, this is the blog I am heading straight to. Lori Deschene (the founder of Tiny Buddha) writes amazing articles and creates a warm community for writers and readers. This blog is full of personal stories, inspiring ideas, and simple wisdom that can be applied to our daily life.
6. Simple Mom This is a productivity, creativity, sanity, simplicity and happiness resource for moms (and dads who probably won’t admit that they read a simplemom blog). I love reading this blog especially when I have tough days with my twins because I can always find some advice there. If you a parent then I am sure that you will enjoy this balanced parenting blog.
7. A Beautiful Ripple Effect This blog is beautiful inside and out. Carolyn Rubenstein is the author of Perseverance: True Voices of Cancer Survivors as well as the founder of a non-profit organization for young cancer survivors. Her blog is a collection of personal development articles written with a twist of beauty and sophistication, wonderful images, absolutely awesome e-books and worksheets and flourishing positive energy. The website is so cozy and beautiful that I simply do not want to leave its pages. There is a lot to learn on the pages of A Beautiful Ripple Effect because this blog is written with soul, heart and inspiration.
8. The Daily Brainstorm is a new kid on the block. Actually it is not a single blog, it is a collection of the best posts from the best blogs updated daily (you can find my articles on its pages too). If you want to keep your hand on the pulse of the best articles about health, lifestyle, personal development, spirituality and blogging then you can subscribe to this blog and enjoy a heap of tips and ideas for balanced living.
9. Urban Monk is my new favorite. This blog is a fountain of spiritual inspirations and every-day life lessons. Whether you are having trouble dealing with rude people or you are looking for forgiveness and meaning in life, Urban Monk will give you a great story and a lesson that will motivate and inspire you. I find a lot of balance on the pages of this blog because they breathe with calmness, peace and serenity – qualities that are essential for life balance.

Here are 5 more websites that do not need explanation in my opinion. I have mentioned them quite a few times already and you have probably noticed that they live happily in the footer of my blog.

10. Zen Family Habits
11. Yogatic
12. Happiness Project
13. Zen Habits
14. Good Life Zen

What are your favorite websites that help you find balance and inspiration in life? I think it would be fun for all of us to discover new blogs and ideas. Remember,

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving (and learning!)
Albert Einstein

Keep it balanced!

Image by D Sharon Pruitt

Do you remember going to the beach during your summer break when you were a kid? Do you remember hanging out with your friends and having lots of fun? I do remember those days; summer has always been my favorite time of the year.

As we transition into our adult lives we tend to spend less and less time doing things that we love, we don’t get to spend a whole month at the beach and even when we go on a vacation we often bring our work with us (phone calls, emails etc.) Even worse, sometimes we have to skip the vacation completely because of financial issues, the kids are too little to travel, or your spouse didn’t get vacation at the same time you did and so on.

Vacations are crucial to our health, well-being, general satisfaction with life, stress reduction and of course life balance (if you are looking for work/life balance then you can forget about it if you miss out on vacations.) Even if you can’t fit a trip to the beach into your budget this year you can still get all the benefits of a real vacation without leaving your house.

This year my husband and I had to give up our vacation trip but it didn’t stop us from having a great time. If you can’t go anywhere this year, if you can’t take more than a weekend off or if you just want to have the most incredible vacation ever, don’t let anything stop you. Here are 8 frugal and fun vacation ideas. Enjoy!

A word of caution: before you start your at-home vacation you need to get ready for it. Finish any house projects (cleaning, grocery shopping etc.), turn off your business cell and sign out of your email (you can even turn off the Internet router in your house completely), tell your co-workers that you are leaving town so that they don’t have a temptation to call you in case of an emergency.

1. Romantic vacation. Obviously this is a vacation for those who have already met their second half. During this vacation you can go out on as many romantic dates as possible (supper with candles, a walk in the park), you can spend as much time as possible without leaving the house or even your bedroom. If you have kids then of course you have to make arrangements with a babysitter. Do things together, go over your favorite memories (look at your wedding pictures or your video), make a list of things that you value the most in each other and don’t stop showing each other how much you love and care for each other. In our day-to-day life we often forget to be romantic or we simply do not have time for it, use this vacation to reignite the passion in your relationship or to strengthen the bond that you already have.
2. “Me” vacation. If you are single (or your partner can’t have a vacation at the same time with you) then make this week full of things that you enjoy doing. It’s difficult for me to think of what a guy would do during a “me” week (obviously, I am not a guy ) but I know of plenty of things for a girl to do. Make an appointment at a nearby spa (massage, facial, manicure, pedicure) or have a spa treatment at home (make some home-made masks and cleansers, watch your favorite movie while you are doing your manicure, take a long bubble bath). Go for a solo walk outside (a park or any natural environment will do), practice journaling to find a deep connection with your inner self.
3. Workaholic (masochistic) vacation. Don’t think that I am a weirdo but some people love to work until they drop during their vacation. Of course it is not your regular job, but it might be a big home improvement project, a garden project or some other manual labor. My grandmother is one of those people who just have to be doing something even when she is on vacation. I don’t understand this approach completely however if the idea of relaxing and enjoying “nothing” time sounds boring to you, then you can try this vacation. Tastes differ.
4. Foodie getaway. I love tasty food but I do not always have enough time to cook something special (and I resort to the all-time-favorite of spaghetti and marinara sauce). If you are like me then you can make this week a time for you to cook the most amazing recipes ever. Even if you do not like cooking then you can go out to a different restaurant every day of the week and try as many tasty dishes as you can eat (the consequences of this vacation to your waistline can be pretty detrimental, so approach it with moderation).
5. Get-in-the-best-shape-of-your-life Bootcamp. Most of the time we procrastinate any lifestyle changes (adding more exercise, developing healthy habits) due to the lack of time or busy schedules. People pay big money (and I really mean BIG money) to go to special spas or retreats where they will learn to exercise, eat healthier and overcome bad habits. You can do everything that they are doing for free; you just need a little bit of discipline and determination, that’s it.
   During this week make it a rule to work out every day trying different types of fitness. Choose a few healthy habits that seem most important to you right now and work on implementing them into your life. The most important rule here is to make everything feel like fun, add some rewards (massage, facial, etc.) and enjoy a healthier approach to life.
6. Discover your local attractions. Sometimes we underestimate all the fun things that can be done in our own city simply because we do not consider it as a vacation destination. Go online and find exciting things to do in your area (search for a visitor’s guide to your city or state) and rediscover your area.
7. New experiences. Do you have things on your mind that you have always wanted to try but never got around to actually doing them? Make this vacation a new experiment. Try barefoot running, try knitting, horse-back riding, gardening, cooking … There are always so many things worth trying but our busy lives always keep us from trying them. Try them now!
8. Kids-time fun. If you have kids then you can devote this week to them:
   • have fun outdoors,
   • learn new things together,
   • watch what they love (your child will enjoy a conversation with you much better when you can share their excitement about a new episode of Hannah Montana, Mickey Mouse clubhouse or even the Twilight Saga),
   • go on a picnic,
   • cook something together
   • this list is absolutely endless

   Let your inner child out when you are playing with your children. Take a break from being a grown-up!

Are there any other ideas for frugal vacations? Of course, only your imagination is the boundary. Mix these ideas up, add something new, use them during your vacation trip and you will see how much fun you can have without even spending any money at all.

Vacation is not about going anywhere and spending lots of money (though this is the exact idea that our materialistic society is trying to nail into our minds). Vacation is the time for you to relax, to stop and just enjoy the slow movement of life, it is about forgetting about schedules and to-do lists as well as letting go of worries. It is time to breathe and rediscover your inner self.

Do you have any frugal vacation ideas? They are more than welcome in the comments below. BTW, feel free to share this article with your friends. Hopefully more people in this world will enjoy a more balanced every-day life and vacation.

Keep it balanced!

Image by Gabriela Camerotti

You can reword the title of this post into “How to find the missing component of your happiness.”
I want to show you a simple technique that will help you identify which areas of your life are already in balance (and that make you happy) and which ones can still be improved.

Please ask yourself a question “What is my life?” Can you answer it with just one sentence and capture the full meaning and essence of your life? I can’t because my life has too many twists and turns and different colors and shapes… My guess is that yours is the same way. This is the reason why it is so difficult to find the components that will make you happy and balanced.

Let’s forget about our lives for a second and think about a football coach. What is his main goal? To win a football game of course. Is there one fool-proof strategy that will guarantee the victory of the team? Of course no.

Every coach must study his team and know its positives and negatives. When he knows those positives and negatives he can find a way to maximize the positives and minimize the negatives. For example if a team has a weak defense then the coach’s strategy might be to control the ball and keep defense off the field. If the team has a bad offense but a good kicker then his strategy might be to get as many field goals as possible.

Your life also has its positives and negatives. Your happiness strategy should allow you to take the maximum advantage of the positive factors while diminishing or eliminating the negative ones.

I want to show you a technique called Tug-of-War that I have found in the book Thinkertoys by Michael Michalko.

Blueprint:

1. Goal: Live a happy and balanced life.
2. Best case scenario: you are happy.
   Worst case scenario: you are sad and unhappy.
3. Your factors: you need to write down all the factors that can influence your satisfaction with life. You can focus on the following areas:
   • Family
   • Health
   • Friends and social communication
   • Career
   • Hobbies, interests, passions
   • Money
   • Emotional and spiritual balance

   You can add as many factors as you want as long as you feel that they can affect your quality of life.

4. Tug-of-war. Note which of the factors listed above are pulling you towards happiness and life balance and which ones are drawing you towards dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

In the image below you can see the example of my Life Balance Tug-of War. Factors pulling me towards happiness and balance are: happy marriage, good health, positive energy that I get from my kids, working on exciting projects, living in a perfect location for me. The factors that are pulling me away are: my close friends and family are far away, not enough quiet time for work, not enough time for exercise.

(Click on the image to open it as a pdf.)

In order to move your (and my) life towards a more balanced and happy state we can use the following scenarios:

1. Maximize positives.
2. Minimize negatives.
3. Add more positives.

I hope that by this time you already have your tug-of-war table ready and handy. Now you know what components your life balance is missing and we can concentrate on improving your happiness level.

Improve your life balance and happiness

1. Focus on the strong points. Be grateful and appreciative of what you have in life. Try to get as much positive energy as possible from your strong points (spend more quality time with your partner, devote more time to your hobbies and kids etc.)
2. Minimize negative points. It is helpful to reframe each of those negative points into a challenge and look for possible solutions. Here is my example:
   In what way can I spend more time with my family and friends?
   • plan a vacation to visit my family
   • communicate with my friends and family on Skype
   • make new friends

   In what way can I get more quiet time for work?

   • hire a babysitter to stay with the kids a few times a week
   • get up earlier or go to bed later
   • maximize my productivity: turn off the cell-phone, sign out of chat and social media, check email only when my project is finished
   • find an inspiring place where I can get more done in less time

   How can I get more time for exercise?

   • go for a walk with the babies
   • exercise while playing with the babies (push-ups, sit-ups, jumps, running in place, lunges etc.)
   • quit going to the gym and exercise at home. This way I can be more flexible with my workouts and cut out time sitting in traffic
   • become a fitness instructor so that I can get paid for exercising or start a fitness group with my friends so that I can spend time with them and get motivated for exercise at the same time
3. Add more positive forces: adding more to your lifestyle might be too overwhelming but it is still an option. If you have free time then you can try new hobbies. You can get a pet (dogs and cats have proved to lower the stress levels of their owners) or think about changing your career.

This is it. It is a simple plan that will help you find the missing components of your life balance. I encourage you to do this exercise right away (if you procrastinate then you will never get it done and you will miss out on the opportunity to greatly improve your life.) If you have trouble minimizing negative factors in your life, please share them in the comments below and I’ll be glad to help.

Please let me know how this exercise worked for you. I am looking forward to your feedback.

Keep it balanced!

Image by FREDBOUAINE créer…♥

To-do lists … I love them and hate them at the same time. What about you? Are they your motivation or are they a waste of time? The debate of to do or not to do lies even deeper: is it worth being disciplined and going by the book or is it better to live your life spontaneously giving room to your passions and creativity?

I do not think it is possible to find a person who does not have a to-do list or does not think that he/she should have one. It has become a staple in the productivity movement to create to-do lists and to follow them. But wait, lately I’ve started hearing about killing your to-do list and living in the moment. It sounds so tempting and yet … completely unproductive to me. Am I wrong?

What is the problem with to-do lists?

Did you ever write that endless to-do list full of things that you do not want to do? Every time you look at that endless list you realize how much you have not done yet and you get stressed out and frustrated. Your to-do list drains your energy instead of motivating you to accomplish things.

Maybe you are one of the creative people who hate plans and have to do whatever your heart tells you to. They like going with the flow and listening to their inner voice that tells them what they need to do today.

Going over a to-do list can be a pretty uninspiring task that drains your mental energy and makes you feel like you have a 100-pound load on your back that is constantly pushing you towards the ground.

What about life without to-do lists?

Living without a to-do list can be your dream that will give you wings in life. You let go of fixed goals, you focus on a single thing every day and you enjoy your life again. Doesn’t it sound wonderful?

It does, but only to a certain extent. To-dos also help us remember things that we need to get done (I don’t know about you but I constantly forget things especially if my twins are having a bad day.)

Discipline and planning can be motivating and exciting if you do not overdo it. I usually write some of my best articles if I have a deadline that I have to meet.

Your to-do list can remind you to spend time with yourself or set aside a few hours a week for your exercise and hobbies.

Your to-do list can make your life more balanced if you make your list balanced.

A smarter (and more balanced) To-Do for you

I must confess that I love to-do lists. You can call me boring and dull but I cannot imagine my life without to-dos. They give me energy and motivation; they ignite my creativity while maintaining a high level of productivity. The secret is to use a smarter to-do list. There is a certain degree of balance that you should bring into your planning that will turn your to-do list from a boring list into an inspiring one.

1. Make your to-do list weekly, not daily. Daily to-dos put too much pressure on you because you do not always have time to finish everything on the list. It is much better to make a weekly list and then you will be able to decide when you feel like doing a certain task.
2. Set priorities. Not all tasks are equal in their importance (we all know that) so I would recommend to highlight the most important ones (try to keep them under 5 for 1 week). If the task is really big then you should pick a day when you will focus entirely on this task (e.g. I usually set aside the whole day for my cleaning projects and I do not even try to do anything else that day.)
3. Break down your to-do. In order to stay organized I combine tasks that can be easily done together in my list. For example, a trip to the grocery store and to the post office can definitely be done at the same time (if I write them down together then I won’t forget about any of them.) It might take you a few extra minutes to rewrite your to-do but it will be worth it in the end.
4. Keep your list balanced. For every dull task write down at least 1 fun task. For example, if you have to clean the house then you can add a task of eating out that day to reward yourself for the good work.
5. Keep your list short. I usually try to keep my weekly list under 20 items (10 is even more preferable). Avoid adding items to this list if possible. You will feel so much better if you finish your weekly plan a little bit earlier and have a few spare days just for your fun.
6. Add fun stuff to your list. To-dos that are nothing but daunting tasks are discouraging. While you have to get some things done during the week you also have to have fun that week (remember, your work/life balance?) Write down your “me” time, add a trip to the movies or a hike in the park as well as outings with your friends on that list. This way you will not feel that your life is slipping away from you.
7. Declutter your list. Some of the activities that we consider important are really not that important in reality. Look at your list carefully and see if there are any tasks that you can put off or completely eliminate.
8. Keep your list where you can see it. If you do not see your list then you forget about the tasks that are on it and then at the end of the week when you finally find it you think “Oh no!” Take your list one step at a time and it will be your friend instead of your foe.
9. Do not procrastinate. We usually tend to procrastinate with the most difficult tasks until the last moment. The truth about those tasks is that most of the time they are not as bad as they seem. Once you get to them you realize that they take less of your time and energy than you thought. Your imagination acts against you in this case and draws a picture of “mission impossible”. Once the most difficult tasks of the week are out of the way you can enjoy the rewards that you’ve put on the list and feel free and light again.
10. Be flexible. I know that all of us have certain deadlines that we cannot change but we also have deadlines that are more like recommended guidelines. Sometimes the best strategy to get something done is to change your focus and do something completely different. Do not live by the book, rather follow the best guidelines.
11. Keep it simple. You can spend your money on high tech to-dos or sign up for online accounts that will allow you to manage your tasks online, get reminders of your deadlines via email or cell phone. I’ve tried some of those services but pen and paper still work the best for me. I like to add a creative image to my list, use some funny hand-font for a task that seems most intimidating and absolutely adore to strike things out of my list by hand (I do it with so much passion sometimes that my list gets cut into two lists:-)) Choose the method that will work best for you but do not make things too complicated.
12. Chill out. When you feel that your life is getting too crazy and you are consumed by over-productivity take your list and throw it in the trash. Sometimes all of us just need that fresh breath of air that is not restrained by any to-do lists.

Don’t let your to-do control your life, rather control your to-do to make it fit your life.

What is your story with to-dos? Do you use them? Do you hate them? What are your tips to keep your life organized without getting carried away in boring routines?

Keep it balanced!

Image by kharied

Your habits, experiences, mood and emotions determine how you see the world. There are no two people that will see the world exactly the same and I don’t think there is a person who can look at the world completely impartially. Just a simple example: take a look at this square. What color is it?

Some of you will see it as green, the others will see it as light green, somebody else might consider it puke-green or his/her-first-car-green. Imagine how many shades we can create for our lives and world around us! This vision influences the quality of our life, our happiness, success and of course life balance.

There are usually four types of glasses that all of us put on in lives. I am pretty sure that you are familiar with all of them. I am going to use a simple situation to illustrate how those glasses will affect us. The situation is “It is sunny and warm and you want to go running outside.”

1. Pessimism (negative thinking):
   It’s hot again, I can’t even breathe outside and I am so not going running today … again. Why does it always happen to me?
2. Optimism (positive thinking):
   Hooray! It’s sunny and warm and great and awesome! WOW! I am getting my sneakers on and I am on my way!
3. Realism. I do not think that there is such thing as true realism because it would mean that your emotions and mood have absolutely no influence at what you think. I distinguish positive realism and negative realism.
   3a. Positive realism:
   It is hot and sunny outside however if I go running right now I might overheat or get burnt. I’d rather wait a few hours when the sun starts getting down and I will be able to enjoy a better and safer run.
   3b. Negative realism:
   It is hot and sunny but I can’t go running right now because it is too hot and the sun is too strong. I could go running in a couple of hours but I know that I will be busy then because I have so much on me. I wish I just had more time in life (Sigh!).

Optimism and positive thinking are highly praised today but I don’t think that they are always the best answer. I personally believe that positive realism is the best way to look at the world. Why?

What’s the problem with positive thinking?

Optimists tend to believe that positive events happen in their lives more often than negative ones (which is not exactly true). This thinking pattern can keep you from seeing trouble when it is just ahead of you or changing your direction when something is not working out in life.

I have a few friends who are extremely positive and optimistic. They are absolute fountains of joy and happiness however most of their business endeavors and even relationships do not work out. They misjudge people around them and they get burnt when those people turn out to be not as good as they thought they were. Their business ideas fall apart because they do not consider all the facts and numbers as well as the actual steps that are necessary in order to make that business successful. They hold on to their optimistic beliefs until it is too late to change something and then they get into trouble.

What is the power of positive realism?

When you combine positivity and realism you tend to see what is really going on around you but you choose to concentrate on the positive outcomes. You still acknowledge the fact that something might go wrong but you don’t get stuck on it (as opposed to negative realism). You accept it, you plan for it and you move on towards your positive future.

We all know that bad times happen in life and those times are actually vitally important for us. They build our character, they develop compassion and sympathy in us, they help us grow and see beyond what is familiar to us and they create a perfect counterbalance for all the positive events in our lives. I would never want to live a life that is filled only with positive stuff because then I would be too spoiled and I would not be able to appreciate my life as much as I do now.

This is the reason why positive realism is so strong. Even when you go through difficult times you tend to see something good in them, when you start something new you are open to both results, you are cautious and yet open, you are goal-oriented and yet flexible.

How do you master the art of positive realism?

It is really simple:

• Dream big but break those goals into realistic steps.
• Be grateful for the good and the bad in your life.
• Be flexible and accept what is coming into your life.
• Believe in something greater than yourself.

So what glasses are you wearing today?

And … oh …
Keep it balanced!

What does the number 3.184 billion tell you?

Most of you will have a close connection to this number even if you’ve never heard it before. 3.184 billion is the number of working people in the world (according to CIA stats.) While this number is really enormous, there is another one that will surprise you even more. About 80% of these people experience on-the-job stress and about half of them need help managing this stress (Gallup study). Considering that stress is the #1 health problem in the US today (and one of the main factors contributing to heart attacks), work/life balance and job satisfaction are not topics that can be taken lightly.

What is your relationship with your job? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you just tolerate it? Are you crazy about it (in a good sense)? No matter what your answer is I am sure that all of us can have a little bit more work/life balance to help us stay happy and stress-free most of the time.

Approach to work/life balance should be very personal because we all have different lives, different priorities in life and different types of jobs but there are 6 rules that can help anybody feel more “in-balance” no matter what life throws at you.

1. Get clear on your priorities. The problem with work – life balance starts when we try to focus on too many things at the same time. You might be trying to be a good parent, to cook only home-made meals for the family, to have the hottest body around, spend a lot of time with your friends and at the same time have high-flying career goals. I personally haven’t met a person yet who can do it all at the same time. The art of work/life balance starts with prioritizing activities in your life and compromising.
   The easiest way to set priorities in life is to ask yourself “What can’t I live without even one day?” If it’s your job then you will focus your entire life around your work (you can say good bye for the most part to free time and fun activities with your loved ones.) If you put your family first then you will be able to turn down a promotion if you realize that the extra money is probably not worth it.
   There are always choices that each of us has to make. There is no right or wrong way of living, but when you set priorities you should prepare yourself for the consequences of your choices.
2. One thing at a time. If you look at any A-type personality you will notice that single-tasking is the most difficult thing in the world for them. I know it for sure because I am this exact type of person. The result of doing a million things at the same time is stress, low productivity, over-exhaustion and burnout.
   There are situations when you can combine a few tasks without any problems (you can usually combine tasks of different natures like walking and talking on the phone, thinking about a new project and working out etc.) but most of the time you have to stick to one thing.
   In practice it would mean working with a single task at a time at work (at least if it’s possible.) If you work from home then you need to be working and not thinking about taking care of the kids or house chores. After work you need to stop thinking about projects or deadlines and focus on one thing: your free time or your family. There are always ways to do less, get more done and feel comfortable with your work load.
3. Cut back on unnecessary activities. Unnecessary activities tend to clutter our schedule stealing precious time from the activities that we truly enjoy. Some of these examples can be watching TV, social media and Facebook, meeting people you don’t truly like etc.
   Once you get your priorities clear then it should be easy for you to spot those unnecessary tasks. If you can say that you can live without this activity for a month (or forever!) then you can spend your time doing more important and meaningful things in life.
4. Protect your “non-work” time. Your free time is an asset that you should protect at all costs. When we think about work we usually have certain hours that we have to spend working. We do not even think about other activities at that time.
   For some reason when it comes to free time we forget how important it is. Yes, it won’t bring you any extra income and won’t get you a promotion at work but it will make you a happy and balanced person.
   It’s a good idea to turn off your cell phone when you are away from work. If you work from home then it is vitally important to have a designated office area that you should not enter during your “off” hours. You should control your work load and not let it sabotage your rest. I’ll probably sound like an elementary school teacher, but still remember “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull (and unhappy!) boy.”
5. Keep yourself clutter free. I don’t know about you but clutter drives me crazy (especially when I am working.) The more things you have on your desk, in your house or on your schedule the more projects you immediately envision ahead of you. The thought of having a ton of tasks ahead of you is enough to make you stressed out 24/7. It is easy to balance a few areas in life but when instead of 5-6 areas you see a zillion little things then balancing becomes a very difficult task.
   Keep only your most essential things on your desk and in your house (you can find a few useful tips on decluttering your work space here). Declutter your schedule by getting read of unnecessary activities. It’s a good idea to have a decluttering day every month when you get rid of everything you do not need (I absolutely love those days. I feel so energized after I finish cleaning my desk, house and schedule.)
6. Be great at your job. One of the secrets to finding work/life balance is being satisfied with your job. If you absolutely hate what you are doing then you won’t be able to find any balance in life (I am sorry if it sounds too negative.) I believe that we all choose jobs based on our needs, skills and desires.
   If there is at least something that you love about your job then you should remind yourself about it as often as possible. When you are happy with what you are doing you are able to produce results, generate ideas and be great at whatever you are doing.
   Focus on being productive, having indispensable knowledge in your field and being responsible with your tasks. Don’t confuse it with working over-time (when the only reward you can get is “Oh, that’s so nice of you to do this”), taking work home (remember about guarding your free time) or taking on projects that you are not responsible for.

These are just 6 basic principles of work/life balance though the topic is really enormous. Work is a huge part of our lives but it is not our whole life that is why balancing it with other activities is the basis of any life balance.

I am planning to write more about work/life balance and I would love to hear your questions on this topic. Do you feel that you have mastered the art of work/life balance or are you in the constant pursuit of it? What is the toughest part of this balance for you? Please share your comments below.

Keep it balanced!

Image by eliot.

Do you sometimes feel that you are running round like a squirrel in a cage? Once you are finished with one project there is already another one waiting for you. You get through one deadline but the next one is already knocking on the door. When you think that you can finally relax you realize that there is some other emergency that you just have to take care of. And it never stops. I’ve had that feeling lately.

There is nothing wrong with being busy but if you overdo it then you feel completely out of balance. Being busy does not mean only working hard. It means taking care of the family, helping friends or relatives, working on new projects and even getting absorbed into your hobbies. I know that each of you has his/her responsibilities that can keep you busy all the time.

When you feel overwhelmed with everything around you it is time to stop and think. Is everything in your schedule really that important?
I know your first answer, “Yes, it is.” Most of us would agree at first glance that most everything we keep in our schedules is extremely important but more than often making our schedules lighter is the answer we really need. I guess Leo Babauta with his Power of Less was right after all

So when you feel that you are just too busy and have no time for yourself then it is time to stop and think. Here are some simple thoughts that will hopefully bring a little balance back into your life.

1. Live according to your life priorities. When you decide to eliminate some things from your schedule it is important to look at your life priorities first. What will affect you more: not getting a job promotion this year or not spending enough time with your kids? If you give up one of your hobbies, will you still be able to enjoy your life and be yourself? There is a lot to consider but once you get your priorities straight it will be easier for you to make the right choices.
2. There is always a good reason why your plans do not work out. Maybe it is not the right time, maybe there is a better opportunity waiting just around the corner, or maybe it is just time for you to take a break from everything. There is no point in beating yourself up because something didn’t go the way you planned. Just accept the result and go on with your life.
3. Don’t spread yourself too thin. You have probably heard the advice to live each day of your life like it’s the last one and take everything from life that you can get. It is not possible to live like that in the real world without serious consequences. Look at the most important things in your life (turn to your priorities for this) and try to give most of your attention to them.
   It is important to have hobbies and interests, it is great to build a career (if this is your goal) and try new things in life but if these activities drain you then you should consider eliminating some of them or devoting less time to them. You don’t have to play football, train for a triathlon and join a basketball league all at the same time. Just focus on the one that brings you the most pleasure (or money if we are talking about work.)
4. Keep your dreams and goals in check. Having goals and dreams in life is something that we all need because it keeps us focused as well as gives us determination to get through the hard times. However, the old saying that “moderation is the key to life” can definitely be used in this example especially. Too many times our lives are thrown out of balance because we set unrealistic goals for ourselves. Do you really think that you can cut the grass, wash the car and have time to make it to your child’s sporting event in an hour? If you can then that’s awesome but most of us will just have to settle with driving a dirty car or let the grass grow for another few days. Make sure your dreams and goals are realistic for you and not somebody else.
5. Just take a break. Sometimes all you need is just a little break. Avoid any activities that are not important and let yourself relax a little bit. You don’t have to fix super healthy meals all the time or follow a strict regimen of workouts. Relax about keeping your house clean all the time and let your kids enjoy some extra cartoons now and then in the evening while you are doing what you love. Avoid watching or reading news if possible and minimize your media exposure. Just one week of this “easy” life will help you get back on track.
6. Spend some time outside. Nature has an amazing power to calm even the most unsettled mind down and set anyone in the mood of serenity. According to nature show you the way to a balanced life?
7. Ask for support. A lot of times we do not want to admit to the people around us that we need help. Of course, people are different but in my experience most people like helping others. Especially if these people are close to you. There is no need to be a superman or superwoman all the time (even if you want to be one then you can still take a small break from being super).
   Today my husband went grocery shopping for me and got a lot of interesting things. He said that he is going to take care of supper this week. Just the thought of it made me so happy inside (his beanie weenies turned out great!)
8. Stop procrastinating. Some tasks just create an illusion that they are difficult and time consuming. You put them on your to-do list but every time you look at those tasks you shift your attention to something else (phone calls about bills, little home-improvement projects or some boring tasks at work). These tasks will keep bugging you and making you feel stressed out for no reason. Just finish any tasks that you’ve been procrastinating and you will feel that you can breathe freely again.
9. Have a spiritual break. If you are a religious person then praying will definitely help. If you are not religious then meditating or just practicing any mindful activity will help you clear your mind and shake off the stress you’ve been under.
10. Have a positive experience. When I am tired I tend to look at everything with a touch of gray. This not-so-positive attitude does not make the situation look any easier at all. It is vitally important to have some positive activity to shift your vision from a gray mode into colored mode. Watching a comedy, hanging out with friends, playing with your pets, reading something funny or trying a new activity – anything that can make you laugh will do. Find time for this experience no matter how busy you are.

Now there is just one more tip I can give you. Take a deep breath in, listen to yourself and have a good night sleep. Everything will look better in the morning.

Keep it balanced!

Image by zenonline

“In balance.”

This phrase runs through my mind almost every time I think about my life.

I really want you to feel the same feeling of inner calmness, peace, happiness and content when you look at your life. I also hope that a lot of you already have that feeling no matter how different your lives are from mine.

For a while now on week-ends I’ve been rambling about life balance and what it means to all of us. After we have discovered what life balance is for each of us and what core feelings and beliefs create a basis for this balance, I think it is time to lay the foundation of it.

No matter how you view life balance and what your core beliefs are, there are three pillars that can be beneficial to each and every one of us. I find that these pillars are essential parts of my life that help me be in balance. Take a look at them:

1. Patience. Patience gives inner calm and lets you flow through the waves of life. No goal is too distant, no task is too complicated, and no journey is too long for a person who has mastered patience. Sometimes we just have to wait patiently in life to get where we want to be.

   If you look at life balance the way I do (inner feeling of harmony, peace and fulfillment in life) then patience will definitely take you there. Practice it every day and in every situation and you will notice that soon your life will finally flow in the direction you want to.

   Here is your guide to becoming a patient person.

   “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.”
   Arnold H. Glasgow

2. Mindfulness (awareness.) When you are mindful you get used to looking inside of you and actually understanding what you see there. Have you ever had this feeling that you want something but you don’t know what? Have you ever asked yourself “What is my purpose in life? What am I doing here?” Have you ever wondered why some people seem to get everything effortlessly in life?

   I want to be bold enough to say that the answer to all these questions lies in mindfulness. Being mindful means understanding what your body tells you and when. It also means understating the origin of the emotions you are experiencing. When you learn to be mindful you can easily find your core beliefs and open your heart to spirituality, faith, kindness, generosity, love, and freedom.

   Take a deep breath in and slowly proceed to this guide for mindful living.

   “The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.”
   Aristotle

3. Moderation. “Everything is good in moderation,” this is the motto that I use in life. Moderation protects us from obsessions, addictions, different –holisms and other extremes. Not everyone will enjoy the life of moderation but being in balance means being moderate in life.

   Whether you are conscious about your health, environmental impact or your work, moderation will give you the tools to find just the right balance. Being moderate is not about subduing any strong feeling or emotions in life, it is about making mindful choices that you will not regret. As one of my readers mentioned in her comment “Moderation is good in moderation.”

   Find ways to incorporate moderation into your life here.

   “Only actions give life strength; only moderation gives it charm.”
   Jean Paul Richter

These three virtues are just the foundation of life balance. They are the building stones that will keep the rest of the structure stable and intact no matter what. Once these pillars are in place you can start adding other virtues like kindness, generosity, positivity, gratitude, and others to create a wonderful palace of life where you want to live.

How do you relate to the virtues mentioned above? Do you have other pillars that keep your palace of life stable? Don’t forget to leave a comment and add to the discussion!

Keep it balanced!

For a few weeks not I’ve been working on a free eBook that I wanted to offer to you, my readers. I am very happy to say that the eBook is finally here.

If you visit my blog (versus reading my posts in the reader or via email) then you have probably already noticed some changes in the sidebar. You can now sign up for my newsletter and get your free EBook about balanced living. I am still working on the newsletter and for now you’ll be getting only blog updates if you subscribe. Later on this newsletter will be a separate resource about life balance, happiness and health that will highlight the best online resources and thoughts that in my opinion will be beneficial to the readers of Balance In Me.

Why do you need The Book of Wisdom: 50 ideas for all-around balanced living?

This book has the best articles about balanced living that I have found so far. Most of the articles are written by the author of Balance In Me (yep, by me) but there are also a lot of other amazing posts written by other bloggers. In my opinion every article that I have included in the eBook is a true pearl of wisdom as well as an interesting read. I truly hope that you will find some helpful stuff in this eBook (I want to disprove the saying “You get what you pay for” )

You can read more about the eBook here and of course you can subscribe to the newsletter and get your free copy by filling out this tiny form:

If you have any comments about the book, please leave them below or send me an email (you can find the contact form here.) Enjoy and

Keep it balanced!