How to Get the Life You Love

Posted in Book Reviews/Interviews | April 19, 2010 | 11 Comments

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This post was written by Anastasiya. Follow me on Twitter or StumbleUpon and keep your life balanced!

Have you ever asked yourself “Do I love my life? Am I living the right life for me?” I know I’ve asked myself these questions a few times before but now I can answer them positively.

There are three ways in my opinion how each of us can live their lives:

1. Living the life you love. If you love your life then you live a life of accomplishment, purpose and happiness. You know what you are doing in life and why you are doing it. You are grateful for what you have and you have a clear vision of your future goals. You are content, peaceful and accomplished.
2. Going with the flow. This is the life that you live if you are not sure what to do in life. You do what you are supposed to do (in your opinion or in the opinion of people around you) but you do not feel satisfied with your results (your work does not give you pleasure, the money you earn does not let you enjoy life as much as you would want to, your family does not bring you as much happiness as you expect.) This is not a bad life. This life reminds me of walking in a dark unfamiliar room: you never know when you are going to trip over something or when you will find an exit.
3. Unhappy life. This is the life that is completely centred on negative events, sadness, and general dissatisfaction. I really hope that none of you, my readers, live this life. This life reminds me of a prisoner in a single cell that has to stay there until he/she dies. It’s a mere existence and not a real life.

From my experience I can tell that most people today live the second type of life – going with the flow. A lot of times it is an easy life that does not require courage or risks. The only bad thing about this life is that it is not the life you love.

How do you start living the life you love? I want to present you a book by my friend Arvind Devalia that is called Get the Life You Love (and live it.) I was blown away after reading this book. Arvind gives very down-to-earth advice on how to find passion and purpose in life. His personality shines through the book and his personal experiences prove that anything can be accomplished and anyone can get the life they love.

I will let Arvind say a few words about the book and how to start living the life you love. I must also add that his approach to living is very balanced and I myself can relate to every single piece of advice that he gives in his book.

1. How did you come up with the idea for your book?

I have always been attracted to the idea of writing and in my school days I was known amongst the teachers for writing long, copious essays.

I was inspired to write the book by a desire to impact a much wider audience with my philosophy for life and also living the best life you can.

Get the Life You Love (and live it) is my version of how people can truly live the life they want and aspire to. I feel I have a unique contribution to make and what I have written in the book is my truth. Not the truth, but my truth. The book contains a lot of anecdotes and examples from my own life, making it more realistic and approachable.

All my life I seem to have been involved in helping others somehow improve themselves. It was only when I came across coaching that I found the perfect framework for doing just that. However I soon realized that through one to one or even group coaching, I could only reach a few people at a time. Through my book, I now reach a much wider audience.

Another reason for writing my book was to create something easy and effective. Like a lot of people interested in personal development, I too read many self-help books but found that any inspiration only lasted a day or two!

It was only when I started writing things down in a journal that my life began to change quickly and dramatically. So in my book each simple chapter is followed by pages in which you can start writing down your thoughts and actions.

When I say that my book will change your life from day one, it really does that!
The suggested actions in the book have been tried and tested by me, my clients and many generous and supportive friends. The ideas and suggested solutions are therefore all within easy reach of my readers.

There are 25 simple chapters of 4 pages each, with steps to cover all areas of your life. Each step builds on the previous one, but you can also skip steps if you wish. Yet the book is simple and very easy to use.

The simplicity of the book makes it very easy and approachable, and not intimidating – as I said, I wanted to create a workbook for creating the life you want – and I feel I have done just that.

2. In your book you talk a lot about how you managed to change your life and start living the life you love. What was the turning point for you?

The turning point for me was the realization that we only have one life and this was not a rehearsal.

A few years ago, nothing in my life was working and I remember feeling really down and out one Sunday evening. It was on that day that I decided to take full and complete responsibility for my life.

I was also inspired by spending a month at Nirvana School, a children’s charity school in South India where I experienced unconditional love for the first time.

I haven’t looked back since and I feel there is a lot more to come yet. Though I have further books planned, my main focus is to spread my message by writing on my blog and creating a following.

3. In my opinion the book shows a great example of balanced living. What is your idea of life balance? Do you feel that your life is in balance?

My idea of having my life in balance is being able to do all the things I enjoy with the people I love. At the same time, I would want an abundant attitude to life with ample time to enjoy the fruits of my work, whilst also making a difference to the world in some way.

I would like to feel that my life is in balance most of the time, but I still do tend to work quite hard and long hours on some days – but that’s fine since I enjoy my life like that, and I can see the bigger picture for me in the long term.

At the same time, my relaxation time is very important to me and I often go for long walks, do yoga at home, workout at the gym and meet up with friends. My favourite activity is a bit of African drumming and dancing at a local group with like minded people.

4. What are some of the steps you recommend people take to get the life they love? How can they become successful and live a balanced life? I thought maybe you could walk us through two or three of the steps from your book.

As I said, for me becoming successful and living a balanced life means doing what you really love doing. At the same time, you create the resources to live your life to the full and have great relationships with everyone in your life. Along the way, you do something that allows you to make some contribution to the world around you.

So the key for me is to have a big goal to leave a legacy for the world. By legacy, I do not mean something big or something material (even though that could be part of it) but something by which the world is a better place through you having walked on it.

For instance, if you are a musician you could set a goal to bring pleasure to a lot of people through your creativity. Based on your success, you could also build a foundation to help the needy. At the same time, your legacy could simply be about having made quite a few people happy for a short time.

Some of the necessary ingredients for success as I see them are as follows.

Have a dream – You must have a strong desire to go out and become what you want to be. Have a clear intention about what your life is going to be about and what you want to do with it. Develop a thirst and hunger to succeed, no matter what.

Believe in yourself – know who you are and focus on your strengths. Remember that there is no one else like you and never will be. You are unique!

Focus, focus and focus. Remember the acronym NOW – No Opportunity Waits, so keep going and remain focused on your current task and your long term goal. So for a musician, this may mean to keep going with his or her online marketing even though in the early days, success may be elusive.

Concentrate – this is different from focus, but just as important. Focus is where you are putting all your energies into one particular task. But it is the level and intensity of your focus i.e. concentration that will determine the quality of your output. I feel that this one quality alone i.e. the ability to concentrate on the right tasks and to keep going, will guarantee your success more than any other.

Single mindedness – doing whatever it takes to succeed. A lot of people say to me that they “tried” their best and then they simply settled for not achieving their goals and not getting the success they deserve. I now say to them – don’t just do your best, do WHATEVER it takes. Such a frame of mind and approach brings an entirely different energy and focus to the whole project.

I hope that the above makes sense to your readers. But even more important, I hope that these ingredients help them all become even more successful, no matter what “success” means to them.

5. What was the most difficult part of your life to bring in balance or in accordance with your dreams? How did you manage to do that?

My greatest challenge has been my tendency to take on a lot of projects, and being a perfectionist, I spend too much time on each one!

I have now learnt to focus on a few things and at the same time doing them as well as I possibly can, rather than aiming for perfection.

The other suggestion I have is to limit your friends and contacts to those people who inspire and energize you. In the past I had many people in my life and as I have grown in my life, a lot of these people have naturally disappeared from my life.

The learning for me has been to have around me a set of close, supportive and upbeat people. Of course every one has their occasional down days, but there is no reason why you should also be brought down too.

6. You are a coach, you enjoy spending time with people and organizing fun events, you love working with children and generally you are a very social person. What is your secret of being such a likable guy?

There is no secret!

If you like people, they will like you. By being authentic and caring about the people that I deal with, it naturally creates a wonderful connection.

The trick is to put yourself and your own stuff out of the picture. People can really sense when you are present to them and interested in their story.

People have always been my passion and I guess it shows through in my work and in my approach to life.

Smiling, and smiling often, also helps!

7. If you had to choose your three most successful habits what would they be?

1. Always be your word – do what you say you will do, and mean what you say.

   Being in integrity at all times is probably the single most important habit I have cultivated. This means being my truth at all times – doing things that are resonant with me and letting go of the rest.

2. Adopt a positive attitude and look for the good in any situation.

   So many times in my life, things have worked out for the best though initially it may not have appeared that way.

   I find that being positive and looking for the silver lining to any clouds actually helps to rapidly blow away these clouds.

3. Look for opportunities to contribute and connect.

   When I come from a place of wanting to serve and to be of assistance, then I always have something to do – and I always get so much more back.

   In my book, I have a whole chapter about “Giving and Receiving” – the more you give, the more you get back, especially when you are not expecting anything back.

8. How do you find inspiration in life to maintain your upbeat and cheerful attitude to everything?

I have always been a very positive and upbeat person. I remember being a very happy and content child and I am glad I haven’t lost that childlike approach to life.

Of course I have my ups and downs and some days I can be downright miserable and a grouch. Thankfully those days are very few and infrequent.

To keep up my spirits I often go for long walks in my local park here in London. I also meditate every morning and I find that sets me up nicely for the day.

I would recommend everyone to create a morning meditation practice which will help you for the rest of the day. Find whatever works for you and create a simple routine even if it’s only 10 minutes at the beginning of the day.

I would like to end by sharing with your readers the positive and inspiring words with which my book ends:-

“Remember that your life counts – and make it count.

You are unique. There is no one like you on this planet. Never has been and never will be.

Do not sell your self short. Do not sell the world short.

This is your life – love it, live it. One life, one chance – grab it.

Get the life you love – and live it.”

9. Finally, Arvind tell us how my readers can find out more about you and how they can get hold of your book?

Firstly, they can follow me via my blog Make It Happen which is aimed at helping people improve themselves and improve the world at the same time.

My book “Get the Life you Love” can be ordered as an ebook from here. You can also get a signed paper copy from the same website.

It is also available from Amazon.

Thank you Arvind for sharing your words of wisdom with us.

Keep it balanced!

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