My Life Is out of Balance

Posted in Balanced Lifestyle, Balanced Mind and Soul | March 25, 2010 |

life out of balance

Image by Dia

I want to confess: “My life is out of balance.”

I can already hear you saying “Wait! Your life is out on balance and you are giving advice about balanced living on this blog?”

You have the right to say that but before you do I want to show you why my life is out of balance and why your life should be out of balance too.

The general idea of balanced living is that you divide your life into 6 areas (family, finances, career, friends and social life, health, spirituality) and you try to give equal amounts of attention to each of these areas. If that’s what you are looking for on this blog, then I am sorry to disappoint you. I do not believe in that type of balance. I do not know any single person that lives a truly balanced life (in the sense I’ve just described). And I do not see how this logically divided life can be happy and fulfilling.

Please tell me, how can a new parent be equally excited about a child and his/her work or friends? How can a person who has just started his business not spend more time on it than on anything else in life? How can you compare the amount of time a 16- and a 60-year old spend taking care of their health? How can you imagine that every person on this planet has the same requirements for happy and balanced living?

Our lives constantly change and these changes bring new challenges, new joys and new requirements. What you thought of “Cool! I’ll be happy doing it my entire life” when you were a teenager might seem like nonsense when you are even in your 20s. Requirements for happiness in life change with us over the years.

When I said that my life is out of balance I meant that I do not have a standard balanced life. I do not divide my life into equal areas and I am not trying to do it all at the same time.

Let me tell you what life balance is to me.

Life balance is inner peace and happiness.

Life balance is the understanding that my life is full and yet I have plenty of room to bring something new into it.

Life balance is a happy family that I have and smiles on the faces of my girls.

Life balance is taking care of my body without forgetting my soul.

Life balance is walking outside and seeing the beauty around me that inspires me day after day.

Life balance is faith that I have.

Life balance is knowing that I do not live on the edge and that I feel secure walking through my life.

This is what life balance is for me. It is not some mathematical equation that I must follow in life. It is a life of passion, love, kindness, generosity, happiness and joy.

What is life balance for you?

Keep it balanced!

Smart Thoughts (30)

  1. Fr. Michael says:


    Wonderfully articulated post! I think you summed it up beautifully. I think what you’re saying is that balance is an interior reality; it’s deep in the heart and soul. A person may seem on the outside to be balanced by focusing on different things in their lives, but on the inside they may be in turmoil. Inner peace, happiness, faith, love for family, gratitude and appreciation for the world around us: this is balance. Beautiful post.


    • Anastasiya says:

      Thank you Fr. Michael! I want my readers to see what life balance is really about and how this balance can bring happiness in their lives. Life balance is different for each one of us and I think that it is important that we outline what we need in life in order to feel in balance and at peace all the time.

  2. Anastasiya, thank you for making it clear to me that I do already have a balanced life!

    For so long I have struggled to fit into this model of equality in all the different sectors of my life. But now I can be guilt-free about spending so much time on my writing (which I love) and not so much time on say watching television (i don’t even have a TV).

    I am off now for yet another walk in the park – how is that for balance?

    It’s finally spring in London and the trees and gardens are just coming alive after being in slumber for so long:-)

    • Anastasiya says:

      Spring is wonderful especially when you live in a colder climate (I can’t say enough how happy I am to finally move to a warmer climate.) Walking in the park is wonderful for life balance. I can’t think about a better place to learn about life balance than nature. Nature is always the best example of what true balance is all about.

  3. Anastasiya,
    i do agree with you that life can not be divided equally in all the things at the same time.
    for me balance is
    Life balance is inner peace and happiness
    which i am trying to make and wiill always go for it

    • Anastasiya says:

      If you know what life balance means to you then you will always be able to easily reach it. Knowing what you are striving for in life is like having a flashlight in the night. It will keep you from losing your path and get you to the destination no matter what.

  4. Lovely post, A! I agree, balance means something unique to each person and it doesn’t mean allocating the minutes in your day exactly between your activities. It is more art than science. It is more a state of mind.

    This is my favorite statement: “Life balance is the understanding that my life is full and yet I have plenty of room to bring something new into it.” Yes! I love a good paradox like that. I’m content with myself, but also want to grow. I’m satisfied with what I have, but still feel exhilarated working toward a goal.

    • Anastasiya says:

      Eva, I am glad that you have seen a part of yourself in this definition of balance. Our lives are full of paradoxes and when two opposites meet we usually find our balance.

  5. Baker says:

    I enjoyed this post. I understand where you were headed here. I find that a word that resonates with me as well when I feel unbalanced is to be in Harmony with what is. The whole idea of trying to split up (family, finances, career, friends and social life, health, spirituality) into categories leads me personally to feeling drained. This post sparks a lot of ideas within me, that I may not be able to express yet in words…I guess this is more of a discussion I would like to get into, versus a one time post on a thought provoking blog…

    • Anastasiya says:

      I am always open for a discussion, Baker. Discussion about balance and harmony being definitely on the top of my list.

      • Baker says:

        It seems to me the idea of keeping things balanced, seems to be a lesson that reappears in my life. However, the daily practice of meditation I have found that the practice of balancing areas of life seem to come more with ease rather than a feeling of “having to categorize things and put them in place” It seems like from this state, life flows together versus it being like having to seperate the several areas that are all connected anyway.

  6. I suppose I’m out of balance too then. I feel in balance as long as I have plenty of time to spend with my family. Everything else fills in according to how much fun I’m having with it. Well, except for work, that one currently gets the same amount of time every week since the employer kinda requires that.

    • Anastasiya says:

      Some things we just have to do whether we like it or not (work being one of those things most of the time:-)) I am glad that you feel in balance with your family and with your life. I know how important it is to have a strong support system in your house that can not only help you but also inspire you day after day. This kind of inspiration is the best source of balance in life.

  7. James says:

    Don’t usually comment, but read your post earlier and then later was reading Victor Hugo quotes and came across this one:

    “To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better.”

    anyway, thanks for the interesting blog,

    have a good weekend all,


  8. lena says:

    You pretty much summed up everything I would say about balance in my life. It is a kind of balance out of balance. I believe important is how you feel about things and what you focus on. At some point some things are more important than the others but in a way that is balance too, unless these other things do not suffer from that.

  9. How I balance my life is just right for me…because it’s my life. We all do different things and of course like you pointed out we’re all at different stages. If I have inner peace my life is balanced. If I don’t have it my life is out of balance.

  10. Catrien Ross says:

    Anastasiya, thank you for this beautiful sharing of what life balance means to you. You remind us that the idea of balance has, in a way, been misunderstood. And yet it is held up as a mirror in which so many of us have come to judge the so-called imbalance of our lives. I feel it is not about balance at all, but waves of expression and integration. There are deeper cycles at work in us, and they are not about balance, but rather about flowing energy through the many aspects of our existence, including the details of our daily lives. I especially love your “life balance is walking outside and seeing the beauty around me that inspires me day after day.” This beauty of our amazing natural world inspires and sustains me, too.

    From the mountains of Japan, evening greetings to you – Catrien Ross.

  11. Anastasiya says:

    Thanks everybody for sharing your ideas about life balance and what it means to you. It is so wonderful to see how different people can find harmony in their lives in different, creative and amazing ways. Thanks for staying with me on the journey towards balance!

  12. Ok, how could I possibly miss this super awesome post! Maybe my life is just too much out of balance at the moment:) Thank you so much for bringing this topic up, Anastasiya, and that’s exactly what I was trying to express in our conversation. I think people who are trying to achieve balance across all life areas by equaling them are really causing more imbalance and stress in their lives. Your approach to balance is what I believe a lot fo people need to read and truly understand. That’s what true balance is all about – peace and happiness, not division of everything into equal parts. Thank you so so much for mentioning me and my site, I am truly honored to be your friend!

  13. Cheryl Paris says:

    Hi Anastaysia,

    Great insight to how the life is not balanced :)
    I try my best to give more time to my family and adequate time to my professional life. When I am with the family I enjoy each moment and avoid taking any professional discussions or issues. The most important part to have balance is to be joyful, have compassion, be truthful, be happy (times are tough but if we are calm we can find a way out), above all have passion to do what you like.

    Bye for now,

  14. Aaah (that’s a sigh of agreement and relief!)
    so good to find out I’m not the only one who thinks a ‘balanced life’ means that you’re just skimming the surface and not diving deeply, lusciously into whatever stirs your soul on that particular day.

    Here’s to being Happily Un-Balanced!

    Bliss and blessings,
    The goddess known as Jacqui

  15. Muntaha says:

    I just like your post!
    it made me think about “life balance”in a totally different way, and i found the idea that every one has his own definition for life balance very meaningful and it enhances the idea that everyone is unique.

    thank u!

  16. Hi Anastasiya, personally, I thought this was a great read. When I think of balance I picture a person walking a high-wire with a long balance pole. To stay centered, he must make constant, subtle adjustments. If he over corrects then he needs to counter that with a measured response.

    To the casual observer, he is always centered, but it is the constant adjustments that keeps him in the center. A balanced life is very similar. The very fact that you are examining your personal situation assures me that you will stay centered.

  17. Annie Stith (Gr8fulAS on Twitter) says:


    I ‘ve known for some time now that my life is “out of balance” by other peoples’ standards, and I’m OK with that.

    There are periods where we are going to be undergoing great change in our lives, and like the butterfly in its cocoon or the bear during its winter hibernation, we need to retreat into ourselves for preparation (even if we don’t understand that’s what we’re doing or why).

    My life was very much where I wanted it to be when I developed some conditions that make me unable to work a standard 9 to 5 office job. It has changed my life dramatically as I went thru the stages of grief, then worked on redefining “disabled” to “differently abled,” and began to open up to the opportunities now available to me that I wouldn’t have before considered.

    Having become completely “unbalanced” in several areas of my life while I figured that out (even by my own standards), I now have the opportunity to “regrow” my life in any manner that I consider balanced under these new circumstances. It’s exciting and scary and a daunting task, and I appreciate the support of hearing that it’s up to ME.

    With gratitude,

    • Anastasiya says:

      Hi Annie,

      I am so happy to hear that you could find strength in yourself to go against “normal” and find your way of living. Standards set by others are not set for us and you are right that sometimes it is very difficult to understand that. Whatever life balance means to you now is what yo need to strive for and never look at others. All of us have different challenges, different abilities (or disabilities) and different expectations in life.

      “Going My way is the only right way for Me.” This is the phrase that always keeps me going in life no matter how out of balance my life might seem.

      Thanks for sharing your wonderful comment!

  18. Elly says:

    I do not belive in balance too. And I am out of balance seeking inner peace and purpose… maybe having a blog as popular as yours may become one :)

    • Anastasiya says:

      Hi Elly, balance is very personal and each person finds their meaning of “balanced living” eventually,. I must say that having a popular blog only takes away from balanced living because it adds more responsibilities and commitments. Balance comes from the inside (like you said, peace and purpose) and blogs like mine are just the expression of your inner self.

  19. cele says:

    Inspiring post and inspire me a lot.When i hear the word”Life balance is faith that I have”from you i so happy because of it is difficult to many peoples. Balancing your life in “spirituality”it is vary important,After death where you go either heaven or hell.It is depending up on your spirituality.

  20. John Verses says:

    Life balance is having a purpose. Be that helping someone or working on a project. More times that not I find that I lose balance when I don’t have something to live for and do. Regular sleep and food are important too :)

  21. Matt F says:

    This post has been very helpful to me in 2 ways. The first is answering my question of what balance can mean and why I need it. I tend to work to excess, and not have the time and energy to achieve the other nurturance of body, mind and spirit. The second way is that despite my current state, it is a type of balance based on the necessities of my employment, my life decisions, and my abilities and interests. I can strive to emphasize other aspects each day. But I am in balance now because I am at peace and have opportunities to grow and contribute in new ways today, as well as in the future.