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Posted in Balanced Lifestyle, Balanced Parenting, Most Popular | August 27, 2009 | 14 Comments
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Image by It seems that being productive and being a parent are two things that do not go together well. Kids need our attention at all times (especially babies and toddlers) and they do not understand the statement “Mommy/Daddy needs to work now to pay for our life” or “Mommy/Daddy has to do some work around the house. I cannot play with you right now.” The best case scenario is your child will get fussy and cranky then won’t let you do anything. The worst case scenario is they will get into trouble and get hurt right at the moment when I take 2 minutes to put some clothes in the washer (this is the worst thing that has happened to me so far). It feels that being productive is just not worth all the trouble.
This experience has allowed me to discover a few practical tips that work for my family and that let me and my husband (he works from home too) be productive and get things done without going crazy. Here they are, 10 tips that literally save my life and I hope that they can be helpful to you too:
- Stop multi-tasking. It might sound tempting to work while you are watching over the kids but this is not a good idea. Children know when you are faking and when you are not genuine in your desire to play with them. I don’t know why but all children (at least the ones that I know of) get extremely fussy and cranky when you are trying to do something important and pretend that you are playing with them. If you have to play with your children then do it genuinely and enjoy every moment that you spend with them. When they are playing on their own or sleeping then you can use all your mental power to get things done.
- Have fun breaks. Usually kids can play on their own for at least 20 minutes and after that they get bored. Schedule fun activities with your children at least every 20 minutes and do something exciting. Go out and play in the yard, have a tea break with your daughter’s favorite doll or teddy-bear, dance, or do any other activities that your children like to do. Your mind will have a break and your child will have something to look forward to.
- Have a schedule. This is especially true for little babies. It’s important to establish a regiment that will be comfortable for your kids and that will help you plan your day accordingly. A lot of parents do not have this regiment and their kids go to bed only when the parents think that they are tired, they wake up at different times every morning and they are fed when they seem like they are hungry. Not only does it makes your life more complicated, it also makes your child unorganized and undisciplined. My girls always go to bed at the same time at night, they wake up at the same time in the morning, they have their nap at the same time every day and they eat at the same time as well. Parents are no different, they need to have schedule too. Plan what to do and when you need to do it and follow your plan. For example, my morning hours are devoted to exercise, I start fixing supper at the same time every day and I have a few hours set aside for productive work.
- Define your goal for the day. It’s crucially important to know what you need to do. You can’t be productive if you cannot concentrate on one single most important thing that needs to be done during the day. In the morning define your goal for the day and use every opportunity to reach this goal by the evening.
- Do things with your kids. Even though I do not recommend multi-tasking there are still some things that you can do while you are watching over your kids. The key is to do only fun things with your kids. I usually do 5-10 minute workouts when I play with my babies. They think that sit-ups and push-ups are funny and yoga poses are just hilarious for them. One day I let one of my girls pull the clothes out of the dryer while I was folding them and it was the best thing ever. Be creative, do not be afraid to improvise and let your children help you and have fun.
- Devote certain hours to your kids only. Your children must feel that they are loved and that you are willing to spend time with them. Give your undivided time and attention to your kids and make it a rule in your house. For example, every evening you do things only with your kids (no work, no chores) or every Sunday is a family fun day. Your kids will be looking forward to this moment and they will let you get more things done at other times.
- Hire some help. It’s a wide-spread misconception that if you work from home then you do not need to send your kids to daycare and do not need to hire a baby-sitter. If you are serious about what you are doing then you should definitely consider some help. I personally do not want to send my babies to daycare because they would pick up all kinds of viruses from other children and I am not even going to touch on the subject of how extremely expensive it is. Our neighbor’s daughter comes to babysit once or twice a week and she plays with our girls while my husband and I work. Some churches also offer Mother’s Mornings Out – it’s like a daycare but only for 2 or 3 hours a few times a week. Usually it’s pretty reasonable too. Even if you do not have the money you can team up with other mommies or some Mr. moms in your area and have a at-home-daycare once or twice a week.
- Split responsibilities with your spouse. As I have already mentioned my husband and I work from home and that is why both of us need some free time to get things done. A few months ago we adopted a new strategy that has proven to be the most productive for us. Basically we divide our work week into daddy’s and mommy’s baby-duty days. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are my husband’s work days, and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are my work days. Even if you do not work from home you can still split responsibilities. When daddy goes to the gym he takes the kids to the gym daycare with him and when mommy goes out for a cup of tea with her friend she takes the children with her.
- Use every minute of time wisely when your kids sleep. If your children are still taking their afternoon naps then this is a golden opportunity for you to get things done. My children take 1 two-hour nap every day and that’s the time when I can do things. Depending on your children’s schedule you can work at night after they are already in bed or early in the morning while they are still asleep. This is the reason why it’s so important to have your kids on schedule.
- Be smart with your time. You need to use every minute of your free time effectively that is why you need to cut down on “cluttering” activities. Do not watch TV, limit web surfing, Twitter, Facebook and other social media, talk on the phone or send an emails, basically do only important things when you have free time. Even when you are playing with your children you can listen to a podcast or audio book and sometimes even read a book or a magazine. It’s not multi-tasking in my opinion. You are teaching your kids the importance of reading and listening.
I love being a parent and I love spending time with my kids. I am sure that you love being with your kids too and you do not have to make the choice of whether to get things done or be a good parent. You can have the best of both worlds by maximizing your productivity with simple changes in your life that I’ve described above. Let me know if these tips worked for you and I am more than ready to hear about how you stay a productive parent.
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Hello, 
Sounds like you’re doing a lot! What do you do about keeping your energy up when you need to be productive?
@ JS Dixon
Coffee and green tea are my best friends when I am completely down. Of course it’s important to be moderate in caffeine consumption. Another great way to be productive is to exercise. Every morning I try to start my day with running or some other exercise. On most days it charges me up for the whole day and gives me enough energy to withstand any baby crisis.
Another great thing that I learned after I became a parent: children are the best source of inspiration and energy and nothing works better than a smile on their faces.
A terrific and timely article, Anastasiya. As you know, my wife and I had triplets recently. Now we aren’t at that toddler stage, but I am quite concerned as to whether we will have time to do things, like running my blog for example.
Prior to this pregnancy, I was a marathon runner, occasional triathlete, full time project manager, landlord for six apartments, singer/guitarist/songwriter for my band, and part time blogger. Can you pick the three things that have gone by the wayside for me?
My wife and I had looked into daycare briefly. Aside from the fact that you’re paying someone else to raise your kids and get them sick all the time, the cost was $2700 a month. We live in a depressed city and the average salary doesn’t compete with the national average. Suffice it to say that day care was more than my wife’s take home pay, by several hundred dollars, so she has elected to stay home with them.
Unfortunately, my work cannot be done from home.
I do appreciate all the tips, I will be printing and saving this article. It’s nice to read about someone who is currently going thru this process and sharing their experiences. Many thanks and all the best to your family.
- Charley
@Charley
I know that it is going to be tough for you and your wife and you will have to adjust a lot (I can’t even name how many things my husband and I had to give up especially in the beginning). The good thing is that if your wife does not work from home then she will have more time that she can devote to the babies. It’s important when you do not have this burden on your mind saying “You need to get this done now, now, now”.
Things do get better with time. You probably know it already but the first few months will be the toughest but once you can get your babies on schedule then everything will be easier. And try to make your babies sleep through the night as soon as possible. My twins started sleeping through the night at 1.5 months old and after that my life got much easier.
I am glad that you found these tips useful, Charley. I really hope that they will work for you.
I may not be a father, i certainly understand how kids can be troublesome at times and take up too much of my time. I am often forced to look over my nephew. Thanks for the great tips anastasiya!
I would really love if you write on handling hyper active kids. That would really help my situation.
@Karlil
Thanks for your comment and for a good idea for the next post. I am sure I am going to use it because my babies are pretty active too (I am not sure if they are hyper though).
Anastasiya,
Thanks for the beautiful article. I just had a baby boy a few weeks ago and I have a lot to learn. He is already demanding so much attention. I also think it is important to develop a schedule but not have expectations…because sometimes unexpected things come up or your baby just doesn’t want to nap.
I will forward this on to my wife.
Anastasiya, these tips are not just for parents! I think the first four in particular are great when taken together. They offer a simple guide for anyone who wants to be productive but not at the expense of quality of life.
..And all of your tips are good reminders to pay attention to our ‘inner child’ when we’re working–all work and no play makes for a dull day
Kye
Great post. My kids are older, but a lot of these tips still apply. My kids always know when I’m really listening and when I’m only pretending to listen. I’m trying really hard to bring some order and structure to my week so I carve out time to spend with the people that are most important with me just being with them.
Lori
It’s good to see that the old tricks of getting organized are also helpful in raising kids and ensure parents survive and thrive through this phase. Keep up with those good tips.
I sent over this blog post to my friends who are expecting a child this year and they absolutely loved it! I especially like your tip to NOT multitask, children I have seen are very perceptive. Its worth giving every bit of our attention when we are with them!
All the best on your journey, proud mom
.
Thank you Jai Kai, Kye, Lori, Patrick and Krishna for your warm comments.
And congratulations Jai Kai with your baby-boy!
I am happy that all of you found these tips helpful in one way or another. I think that the most important thing about being a productive parent is to be a parent in the first place and to be productive only after that. It does not matter how much you can do and accomplish if you fail to be a good friend and a good parent to your child.
Hi Anastasiya – It was so much fun to read your tips because I see we have a lot in common! I also work from home (hubby too) and we have two small ones. I don;t know many people who have their life set up the way we do so I always wonder how other moms cope. I have found these last three years such a huge adjustment! Not only do we have a business that needs our attention, we have a marriage and kids and ourselves. Whew!
Your point about creating a family rhythm is spot on. It give my kids security in what is coming next and a guide for me to follow as well. We have special days that we work around as well as the larger daily schedule.
the only time I am waiting to get back is my evenings…when my little guy decided to sleep and stay asleep! LOL.
I know the challenges of operating 24/7 from home and your points are excellent!
I am always sheepish to admit that I have hired help but having a housekeeper has been a tremendous help. Not only with spending more time with kids, but being able to free up creative business time (translate more money) so it’s money well spent.
Hi Monica,
I am also glad to find a person who has a similar lifestyle with mine. You are right, it is so difficult to find people who would be working from home and taking care of kids at the same time. These people are not usually among our neighbors and the only way to find similar-minded people is web.
Operating from home is a very demanding job especially when both husband and wife do that. It creates completely different challenges than regular lifestyle.
I am glad to connect with you and I hope to learn a lot from your blog.