Which Pair of Glasses Are You Wearing Today? (and is optimism always the best path?)
Posted on Balanced Lifestyle, Balanced Mind and Soul | June 2, 2010 | 18 Comments
This post was written by Anastasiya. Follow me on Twitter or StumbleUpon and keep your life balanced!
Image by Your habits, experiences, mood and emotions determine how you see the world. There are no two people that will see the world exactly the same and I don’t think there is a person who can look at the world completely impartially. Just a simple example: take a look at this square. What color is it?
Some of you will see it as green, the others will see it as light green, somebody else might consider it puke-green or his/her-first-car-green. Imagine how many shades we can create for our lives and world around us! This vision influences the quality of our life, our happiness, success and of course life balance.
There are usually four types of glasses that all of us put on in lives. I am pretty sure that you are familiar with all of them. I am going to use a simple situation to illustrate how those glasses will affect us. The situation is “It is sunny and warm and you want to go running outside.”
- Pessimism (negative thinking):
It’s hot again, I can’t even breathe outside and I am so not going running today … again. Why does it always happen to me? - Optimism (positive thinking):
Hooray! It’s sunny and warm and great and awesome! WOW! I am getting my sneakers on and I am on my way! - Realism. I do not think that there is such thing as true realism because it would mean that your emotions and mood have absolutely no influence at what you think. I distinguish positive realism and negative realism.
3a. Positive realism:
It is hot and sunny outside however if I go running right now I might overheat or get burnt. I’d rather wait a few hours when the sun starts getting down and I will be able to enjoy a better and safer run.
3b. Negative realism:
It is hot and sunny but I can’t go running right now because it is too hot and the sun is too strong. I could go running in a couple of hours but I know that I will be busy then because I have so much on me. I wish I just had more time in life (Sigh!).
Optimism and positive thinking are highly praised today but I don’t think that they are always the best answer. I personally believe that positive realism is the best way to look at the world. Why?
What’s the problem with positive thinking?
Optimists tend to believe that positive events happen in their lives more often than negative ones (which is not exactly true). This thinking pattern can keep you from seeing trouble when it is just ahead of you or changing your direction when something is not working out in life.
I have a few friends who are extremely positive and optimistic. They are absolute fountains of joy and happiness however most of their business endeavors and even relationships do not work out. They misjudge people around them and they get burnt when those people turn out to be not as good as they thought they were. Their business ideas fall apart because they do not consider all the facts and numbers as well as the actual steps that are necessary in order to make that business successful. They hold on to their optimistic beliefs until it is too late to change something and then they get into trouble.
What is the power of positive realism?
When you combine positivity and realism you tend to see what is really going on around you but you choose to concentrate on the positive outcomes. You still acknowledge the fact that something might go wrong but you don’t get stuck on it (as opposed to negative realism). You accept it, you plan for it and you move on towards your positive future.
We all know that bad times happen in life and those times are actually vitally important for us. They build our character, they develop compassion and sympathy in us, they help us grow and see beyond what is familiar to us and they create a perfect counterbalance for all the positive events in our lives. I would never want to live a life that is filled only with positive stuff because then I would be too spoiled and I would not be able to appreciate my life as much as I do now.
This is the reason why positive realism is so strong. Even when you go through difficult times you tend to see something good in them, when you start something new you are open to both results, you are cautious and yet open, you are goal-oriented and yet flexible.
How do you master the art of positive realism?
It is really simple:
- Dream big but break those goals into realistic steps.
- Be grateful for the good and the bad in your life.
- Be flexible and accept what is coming into your life.
- Believe in something greater than yourself.
So what glasses are you wearing today?
And … oh …
Keep it balanced!
Smart Thoughts (18)
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Hello, 
That square is Lime Green… and I’m not taking no for an answer… nah just kidding! LOL I really smiled when I read the headline from in my Google Reader because I already knew, what this was about. I said to myself oh this is going to be a good one. And you did not disappoint me. I couldn’t agree any less about what this. We all view the world differently. For one person, the glass is half empty (pessimistic) for the next, it’s half full (optimistic). I believe it all ties into what we’ve been conditioned to think and view the world. Such a great article, thanks for sharing!
Hi Jarrod, I love Lime Green
It is so cheerful and fresh!
I LOVE this post! I have been doing my own detoxing within my head and this is yet another wonderful reminder to wake up smile and send out those positive vibes!
Hiya Anastaysia,
“Life is not a bowl of cherries.” But what is remarkable is how do we make our life bowl of cherries is using positivism.
My fav points are – # Be grateful for the good and the bad in your life.
# Be flexible and accept what is coming into your life.
Cheers,
Cheryl Paris
I agree with you Anastasiya positive realism is the more balanced approach. Can we say that when you are positively realistic you’re not too attached to the outcome?
I like the fact that you asked what glasses are you wearing today? I think the glasses change from day to day, if not from experience to experience. The trick is to recognize what glasses we are wearing and to determine if they serve us well or if it’s time to shift mentally and emotionally towards a more balanced approach.
Thank you for this wonderful post.
Manal, thank you for the comment.
Like you said, we wear different glasses every day that we wake up and start our day. It is okay sometimes to wear negative glasses (we all have bad times and if we deny that then we only lose the sense of balance) or extremely optimistic ones (some days we just can’t stop being over-excited). We just have to be aware of those glasses and make sure that they do not influence negatively big decisions in our life.
Positive Realism? I like it! I think of myself as a realist but adding the positive twist to it fits me more. Thanks for this!
I just found you and can already tell that I’ll really like this blog. I feel that your point about there being no true realism is very insightful. All reality is colored by our perception — you’ve pointed that out simply. Thank you!
I hope that you will enjoy reading articles on Balance In Me and contribute to our wonderful community over here.
Thank you for your comment and welcome to Balance In Me
Anastasiya, I agree that positive realism is a good way to look at life. Being the eternal optimist can keep a person from seeing all that’s involved in setting goals and working to reach them. Optimism is good, but it can too much of a good thing.
Anastasiya,
I apologize for being away so long. We moved from Texas to Ohio and Ive just got my internet connected at our new house.
Anyway, another great article. I like your differentiation between blind optimism and realistic optimism. The only caution I offer is that our realities are created through the very lenses you describe. What is blind optimism to one person may be very realistic to another… and visa versa.
Coincidentally (and it is genuine coincidence) I have a scheduled post for tomorrow that addresses this very concept. Basically, people’s reactions to the situations and people they encounter define the types of lives they live – either hard or effortless, or anything in between.
We really do have the power to change our realities if we can shift our paradigms.
Chris
Chris, I hope that your move went smoothly.
You are right that we all need to be aware of the lenses that we look at the world through. It is so difficult sometimes to look at ourselves from a different perspective that is why it might be helpful to ask others to describe us realistically.
I also think that when we develop mindfulness and awareness within ourselves we are able to distinguish between reality and glasses. A person can choose to be optimistic or pessimistic in life if that’s what they like to do however I think that it is important to make that choice a conscious decision.
Anastayisa -
I think this post is a very nice description of different mindsets we can adopt. I used to be a cynic and think everything was out to get me. Over the last decade I’ve moved through a wild swing to optimism and settled as a positive pragmatist. I think it is very close to your positive realist – I actually believe that everything is possible, if approached practically. I also accept that you can only influence the world around you and that the first approach taken is not always going to work out. I enjoy the journey and the learning and am prepared to reframe and reset my vision to keep moving forward. Really liked this thoughtful post, thanks.
Phil
Phil, thank you for your wise words. I think that your positive pragmatism is the same thing I was talking about in the article. I think that this is a really balanced way to look at your life that is why I choose this vision for myself too.
Anastasiya,
I like your thoughts in this post. I just blogged about peaks and valleys. It’s not possible to be euphoric at all times. Optimism is good, but as you wrote, it must be balanced with realism. I believe that we can be strengthened through difficult times, so, like you said, we must be grateful for both good and bad events that happen in our lives.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Thank you Fr. Michael for adding your wise thoughts to this discussion. I think that Christianity instills the idea of positive realism. At least this is how I see it
I LOVE This
Positive realism is key – especially in my world ( special needs mums )
I am going to quote you on a post I plan to do – ( will leave you a comment and let you know so you know how I used your POV ))
We all need positive realism and you definitely need it more than anybody else. Thank you for stopping by.
I can’t even imagine how much strength and positivity you need to have in your life. I admire you for everything you do.