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Posted in Balanced Lifestyle, Balanced Mind and Soul | March 23, 2010 | 19 Comments
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Image by If you think that chilling out in life is easy then you are a lucky person. I have understood that I need to learn the art of relaxing after my husband joked with me and said that he was going to put Benadryl into my food (I am hyper-sensitive to Benadryl and even one pill knocks me out for2 days. The only time I ever took it I felt like I was in outer space afterwards.)
Some people might have problems with getting things done but others (like me) have problems with not getting things done. You know that you need to chill out if you:
- Constantly think about work no matter where you are and what you are doing.
- Constantly follow your to-do list and get mad if something is not accomplished in time.
- Consider having fun a waste of time.
- Constantly carry a watch and time every activity.
- Turn every conversation into “what needs to be done,” “what you got done,” “what plans you have in 6 months that need to be done.”
- Get mad if you are not doing anything.
- Think that everybody around you should follow your hideously fast pace of life.
Being productive is a great thing if you do not go overboard with it (remember, moderation is the key). If you get over-productive you get stressed out a lot, you do not feel the taste of life, you do not notice what is going on around you and you lose happiness. If you want to live a balanced life you need to learn to get things done and then completely relax and enjoy not getting anything done. It’s not good for you to be in the “ready, set, go” mode all the time and your loved ones do not want to live with a robot after all.
It took me about two months to get back to my kicked-back life and here are strategies that I found helpful:
- Have a chill-out room. A chill-out room is a room where you are not allowed to think about anything productive, do anything productive and talk about anything like that. When you step into your chill-out room you need to forget about all your worries and relax. Try to minimize the amount of distractions in that room (TV, clocks, computers) and add some elements that will set you in a relaxed mood. My chill-out room is my bedroom. Everything in that room reminds me of a spa where I just HAVE to relax.
- Have forceful breaks. I know that sometimes it is so difficult to stop in the middle of a project when all your thoughts are focused on this project. You think “Just 5 more minutes,” “It’s almost done,” “I can do just a little bit more” and you spend hour after hour working on your project, sitting in the same pose and typing (I do at least.) You need to force yourself to do something different. It is a good idea to set an alarm clock that will remind you to have your forceful breaks no matter how busy you are.
- Do distracting things. It is difficult to get your mind off a serious project or your to-do list if you are over-productive. Make a list of things that can distract you from those serious thoughts at any part of the day. Watching a comedy, reading a book (you can even read a serious book), exercising, going to the movies, going out to a restaurant for lunch, watching your favorite YouTube videos, talking to your friends, cooking, making a trip to a grocery store or spending time with your loved ones – anything will do. Use these activities for your forceful breaks or as a way to stop the flow of thoughts at the end of the day.
- Do useless things with no point. When an over-productive person is forced to do something useless they feel like a fish out of water. If you ask one of those people to draw something they will look at you like you are asking something ridiculous. What’s the point in drawing and wasting time if they are not artists? If you give them a mindless but entertaining fiction book (one of those cheap mystery novels or cheesy romance novels) they start looking for the hidden meaning. If they do not find any meaning then they feel they’ve been cheated. Their brain is looking for some explanation why they need to be doing this or that activity. Doing useless things is the best way to learn to have fun and to enjoy the process of not getting anything done.
- Have days-off. For a long time (actually pretty much my entire life until just recently) having days-off was the biggest torture for me. How can I have a day-off if I love so much what I am doing and I always have so much to do? Why waste precious days when I can accomplish so much? The problem with this mindset is that eventually you burn out, your creativity starts dropping and you stop noticing and appreciating things around you.
No matter how much you love your job, your kids, and your house you need to have days-off. You must not allow yourself to do anything productive on that day. Have fun, do nothing, read, relax and stop looking for ways to accomplish more in your life. Soon you will notice that after a day-off like that you can accomplish much more than when you work all the time. - Set up limits. A lot of over-productive people say that they need to do a lot or they won’t be able to support their families, pay their bills and live a comfortable life. They constantly keep working to get a promotion, to earn more money, write more posts etc. Limits will help you realize how much exactly you have to do to stay safe financially without getting obsessed with your work. Become amazingly good at whatever you are doing, give it all that you have but once you are done – kick back and relax.
- Hang out with fun people. Fun, happiness and light-heartedness are contagious. Instead of hanging out with productive individuals like yourself try to emerge yourself in a completely new environment. People who you think are wasting their life in vain might be actually living it to the fullest. Do you remember that part of Titanic where Jack explains to the “First Class passengers” how much fun it is to do whatever you want in life and when you are done with it – try something new? People like Jack are the ones you have to learn from. Making friends with them won’t be a problem because these people are always open and always ready to make new friends.
- Do not time your fun. An over-productive person always schedules times for everything.
30 minutes to talk to the best friend.
45 minutes – playing with kids.
40 minutes to watch a movie at night. Uugg! It’s past 11 p.m. Time to run to bed or you won’t be able to get up early tomorrow.
Some might even have time limits for cuddling and making out with their significant other.
Set up time limits for your work (actually over-productive people usually do not have those limits) and let the fun run free in your life. - Good is good enough. Repeat this mantra every time you catch yourself perfecting something or trying to squeeze in a few more minutes of productive time in your day. After all, there is more to life than being productive.
Do you find yourself being over-productive sometimes too? What are your strategies to relax in life? Let’s all chill out and relax a little more about life.
Keep it balanced!
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Hello, 
These are really valuable tips! I’ve been working lately to allow myself play – lazy, fun activities that have no real purpose. Reading a great fiction book, playing outside with the dog, taking a nap, baking. Whatever gives you a mental (and physical) break from your responsibilities. And, as you say, don’t set a time limit! These relaxing activities are just as important to your well-being as doing chores and work (or maybe more important).
Hi Eva,
I am glad that you’ve found these tips helpful and that you use them yourself. I know that after I became more relaxed about life I became a different person. It’s so much more fun to live a life instead of working through it.
Hi Anastasiya! I think it’s my first time to visit your blog. Your site’s layout is very relaxing. Anyway, I completely agree with what you said about being over-productive. It really does cause a lot of stress. I’ve experienced that when I was still working for a company and I found that the solution to this is exactly what is pointed out by your blog’s theme – Balance. Great post!
Peace and respect,
Ryhen
Hi Ryhen,
and welcome to Balance In Me. I am always happy to see new people here
Balance of productivity and relaxation in life is really the key to a meaningful and yet relaxed life.
Anastasiya, thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I am delighted to discover your blog. Thank you for such a well-written post on this important topic. Don’t you find that over-productive people can be very self-judgmental? They can be so hard on themselves and so critical, which continues to broadcast a certain vibration that can be difficult to change and also draining for others to encounter.
Your suggestions on how to change that vibration are excellent. I especially like, “do useless things with no point,” precisely because this helps reconnect with the creative, more intuitive part of the brain. It expands inspiration and creativity, which can stimulate new brain synapses. Moments of purposelessness or even silliness are doorways into a deeper knowing – if we are willing to let go of our schedules and expectations – and if we release the little tyrant inside that judges every single thing we do.
Thank you, Anastasiya. I look forward to sharing perspectives with you from this part of the world. Spring greetings to you from the mountains in Japan – Catrien Ross.
Hi Catrien and thanks for stopping by!
I do find that it is difficult to stay around over-productive people for a long time. If you cannot follow their pace then you feel lost behind and completely exhausted. This is the reason why I never wanted to be over-productive but I have natural tendency for it. I think I am doing much better with it now))
Ok, I am so far from being a productive person, but I could still relate to a lot of those points. The funny thing I kept thinking reading this post is that how unorganized people like myself constantly want to become organized. (I have at least 5 timers at home and I swear I tried using them and time myself, it just never works. I keep buying them, maybe some day it will work:)) And organized and productive people apparantely have the opposite issue, they want to give up their timers. But you are right, finding something in the middle is the best.
I could still relate to the part with goals and meaning. I’d never read a book without meaning and I love setting big goals. I just need to learn how use the timer to reach them all on time:)
Good luck with your timers Lana! Maybe next time I’ll write a post about how to be organized and productive
))
Lana,
…my god i keep thinking exactly the same thing…how to seriously get organized….Timers, notebooks, post it notes….come into my den and see these all over 
I think we were separated at birth
HI Ana,
I am basically a very chilled out person…so if i end up following your advice..I will be a chilling force to reckon with
But jokes apart…I love your suggestions..and am gonna send this post to my mum ….she is hyper personified!
Love it!
much love,
Z~
Like I said at the beginning of the post, some people are lucky to be able to chill out in life naturally. I am glad that you are one of those lucky people. Most of us still have friends or relatives who tend to be over-productive and sharing this “chilling” attitude with them is a big present that we can give them.
OMG! Good is good enough is so my mantra!!! I have to tell myself that over and over each and every day just to get through the day. I have three small children and my house is a complete disaster at all times. I feel like I run from one giant mess to the next all day long! I used to NEVER allow anyone into my home without it being spotless so it ended up that I stopped spending time with friends. Then about six months ago I was introduced to the whole Good is Good Enough concept in a women’s Personal Renewal Group I belong to based on The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal by Renee Trudeau (www.reneetrudeau.com). It really spoke to me and helped me to put things in perspective. No one else expects me (or my home) to be perfect so why should I? We really have to let go of those perfectionist tendencies and focus on what’s really important.
I read Renee’s book and I found it extremely inspiring. I think that it is a must-read for any mother because this book can give us a relaxed and happy attitude that helps us be the best moms in the world.
Hi Anastasiya,
You touch on something that I too work on. There is a delicate balance with having a ‘marvelous obsession’ and balancing that with the other domains of our lives. I realized that if I am going to master anything in my life, if I am going to become a maestro of any discipline, it begins with mental discipline (for me it is writing).
Being Marvelously Obsessed is a very practical term; it elevates your consciousness above the challenges that stand before you because you’ve risen above the feelings of limitation. Seeking excellence and being marvelously obsessed go hand in hand; they both begin with discipline and practice.
I’ve noticed that when I turn this asset up too high it becomes a bad habit. The best way for me to do this is Tip #7, there is nothing I love more than getting together with friends for some nice Sushi on a Friday night.
Hi Rob,
after all life is all about balance (in my opinion of course.) You work too much – and you forget what was the initial goal of your work. You rest too much – and you lose yourself in laziness and sluggishness.
You have picked a wonderful term “marvelously obsessed,” I really like it. I am not a fan of any obsessions though (obsession sounds more like an extreme to me and I do not like extremes in life) but if I wanted to become obsessed with anything in life, then I would have definitely chosen “marvelous obsession.”
I am glad that you are happy with what you are doing and that you still find time to relax in life. We all have different amounts of “productivity” that we can take in life without any consequences to our inner peace and happiness.
Anastasiya -
It was very interesting for me to read this post, because my personal experience has been so different. I’ve found in my life, for example, that taking breaks or relaxing in ways that truly distract me tend to be counterproductive. I wind up feeling lazy, or sleepy, or apathetic, and it takes me a long time to get back to work that matters. For me, what works is finding break activities that don’t stop the flow of thoughts, but change them: things such as reading a book that makes me think, writing about a different topic that’s been weighing on my mind, engaging in a discussion with friends.
Sometimes I wonder whether it’s better for me to take days on something else, rather than days off.
Hi Jeffrey,
all activities that you’ve mentioned seem like “distracting” activities to me:))
In my life I get too busy not only working but also doing stuff around the house, taking care of the kids and writing for this blog that is why I need some extreme measures to quiet and relax both my mind and body. The day-off works best for me right now but before I had kids I could not even think about it.
Different stages in life require different “tools” that would help us stay relaxed, happy and sane no matter what. The most important thing is to enjoy every stage and take the most out of it.
I really like having a chill-out room and setting limits. They are a powerful combo.
I value my downtime. My downtime is key to my uptime. As Deepak once said, play hard like a child and sleep like a baby.
Hi Anastasiya,
Great post – and timely!
While I have never been a Type-A person (I could often be the person in the hammock in the photo), I do tend to drive myself hard sometimes.
For example, getting my blog going has involved 10-15 hour days for a couple months. I won’t mention all my other work while doing this! Crazy!
The thing is I love it! I have always produced in waves. Sometimes I allow myself to be very busy and other times I do nothing but relax. It feels good to me when I love the activity I am involved in. Doing nothing but relaxing is so fun too.
I agree, it is all about balance. For me, I think it all comes out in the wash, so to speak!