How to Make People Like You

Posted in Balanced Lifestyle, Balanced Mind and Soul | June 18, 2009 | 1 Comment

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When I was a teenager I think I could have given a million dollars (if I had it ) to somebody who could have told me how to make people like me. Unfortunately, as I grew up I didn’t get a million dollars but I did find out how to make people like me. If you are looking for advice in this area then you can get it absolutely free if you just keep on reading.

Over the years I have learned one golden rule that has made my life so much easier than the lives of other people around me. This rule has helped me to have excellent professional relationships in the work place and with all senior management. It has helped me get timely pay raises and appreciation and help from my colleagues. It has helped me to have friends who will never turn their backs on me and who can help me in any situation. On top of all that I think that this rule is also one of the main rules of all successful people. But enough talking, let’s get down to business now.

A relationship between two people starts with the first impression. A first impression is like the first brick that you put into the building of a relationship between two people. It can be sturdy and fundamental or it can be flimsy and unstable. However it’s not the complete house but just the beginning. Creating a good first impression can give you a head start but it won’t be enough to make people like you. One of the latest and most interesting books on this subject is How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman. You can see what the book is all about by watching the video at the end of the post – click here.

After we are done with the first impression let’s move on to the serious stuff. I would like to ask you “What is it that you like about people around you?” “What makes you decide if a person is a good friend of yours or not, if you want to help that person or not or if you want to do business with that person or not?” Probably your answer to this question will be the answer to the question “How to make people like you?” A while ago I read an interesting quotation saying something like “We like only those people who reflect our virtues.” So if you want people to like you then you must be some sort of a mirror for them showing how great they are. I guess the next question is how to do this.

From my own experience I can say that there is one trait of character that makes a huge difference in the attitude of other people towards you and this trait is responsibility. My husband’s and my own examples can be good proof of this statement. Both my husband and I started working pretty early in life and we have had a few jobs since then. My husband has had 4 jobs and he left each of those jobs with a great professional relationship with his employers and with a promise that if he ever needs a job then they will gladly take him back. I can say the same thing about myself – my employers always loved me and I had really good professional relationships with my colleagues.

So how does being responsible make people like you? Well, here are a few reasons to consider:

1. People like to be important. When you are responsible you make people feel important by showing that you care about their plans, about their needs and their time. If you are not responsible then people feel that they are just an empty spot in life and nobody wants to be an empty spot.
2. People think that their time and their interests are superior to the time and interests of others. When you are responsible you make people see that you value their time and interests.
3. People like to keep everything under control (it is especially true if you want your boss and your colleagues to like you). By being responsible you help them keep their plans under control.
4. People like to be appreciated. When you are irresponsible you make them feel like you don’t care and as a result they do not care about you either.
5. Most people think that the whole world is turning around them. Well, don’t disappoint them, be responsible and let them think that they are the center of the universe.
6. Most people enjoy having their ego fluffed. Don’t you? Be responsible and again show people around you that their “I” is so much more important than yours.

I must confess that the idea of this post came to me last week when I had a series of unfortunate encounters with irresponsible people. I was getting my scuba diving certification (I am done with it now, Hooray!) and my husband and I needed somebody to babysit for us. Well, our baby sitter bailed out on us twice during the week and both times she did it at the last moment (needless to say we were not very happy). We are thinking about finding a new babysitter now. The third time this happened we had to take our 15 months old babies to the class with us (I just had to pass a written test, so it was not a big deal), but when we got there it turned out that my instructor was running 30-40 minutes late and he did not even bother to warn us about it. We had to go back home because we could not wait that long with the babies and therefore had to reschedule my test. It might not sound like a big deal to some people but for my husband and me, people who value time a lot, these situations are aggravating.

Sometimes being responsible might be difficult, especially when you have to give up your own plans or pleasures in order to be somewhere in time or do something properly. This is your own choice after all but if you want to make people like you then you must be ready to sacrifice something. I would like to repeat again this one important statement; most people do not like you because you are so awesome and great but because you make them feel awesome and great.

Keep it balanced!

P.S. Further reading and related resources.

The art of a small talk is discussed by Nicholas Boothman (the author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less) in his exclusive interview to CBS news.

Best books on how to make people like you

• How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman
• How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman

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