How to Give Your Dark Side Permission to Live

Posted in Balanced Mind and Soul | December 11, 2009 | 10 Comments

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This post was written by Anastasiya. Follow me on Twitter or StumbleUpon and keep your life balanced!

Do you like Star Wars? I do, and I know a few people who are plain crazy about it.

Have you ever wanted to have that Force that Luke Skywalker and his family had in their blood? You know, fight with a light saber or influence thoughts of intellectually lower individuals. Luke and Anakin had the gift of the Force but they used it differently. Of course you know that Luke was all good and followed in the steps of Jedi masters while his father turned to the Dark Side of the Force (Boooo!) They were both powerful but what if they could use bits of both sides of the Force? I believe they could have been finally happy and more … human.

Anyway, enough with the Star Wars. Each of us has two sides: the Good Side and the Dark Side and our life is spent as a rollercoaster from one side to the other. If you are looking for ways to improve your life, to live a better life and become a better person then you are probably trying to fight some of your Dark Side nature.

You wake up in the morning and you know that it is time to get up because you want to go running before work, you need to get a few things done and you want to be productive today. On the other hand when you look at the clock you feel the warmth and comfort of your blanket, and suddenly you feel so secure and peaceful that you just do not want to leave this bed. You want to give in to your Dark Side Laziness and enjoy a few more minutes in the comfort of your bed. Of course you still get up and go on with your regular routines and you push aside those pleasant thoughts of laziness.

The Dark Side is the part of us that we do not want to accept and that we want to fight as much as possible. We might be fighting laziness, aggression, inconsideration, ungratefulness, rudeness, stubbornness, arrogance … you know better what qualities you are fighting. Sometimes this battle can be very exhausting and while you are trying to be all good and perfect you lose the present moment. You lose yourself and lose simple life happiness.

An interesting thing is that a drawback for one person can be the most treasured quality for another and everything depends on how we use these qualities. For example one person can be suffering from stubbornness and try his/her best to get rid of it while another person will use stubbornness to reach their goals and to stay on track no matter what (this is how I personally deal with being mule-headed )

I think that each of us should let a small piece of the Dark Side live and flourish inside of us. We should have one “dirty little secret” that will bring balance into our life. I believe that happiness and fulfillment in life come not from being perfect but from being balanced. This balance can be reached only if you let both sides of your nature co-exist inside of you, let the Ying and Yang inside of you go hand in hand together.

When you agree to let a few bits of the Dark Side live inside of you, you must be very careful because you do not want to go overboard. It is like eating a delicious cake. A small piece will make you feel good and happy, but a big piece (and especially the whole cake) will make you regret every bite. Your Dark Side is your temptation that you can give in to only when you really need it but you should never indulge in it.

How can you let the Dark Side live inside of you without any regrets? I do not know all the answers, but I think that these tips can bring some balance into your life:

1. Have your own “dirty little secret.” Have you heard the song by The All-American Rejects “Dirty Little Secret”? While trying to improve yourself allow yourself a few “secrets” that will let you feel in balance. You can listen to the songs with bad language while running, you can eat ice-cream in the middle of the night when nobody can see you or you can wear one pair of socks for a few days (if it makes you happy, why not?) Little things like that do not hurt anybody but they let you be “bad” every once in a while.
2. Choose what bad qualities you can keep in your life. It is very important to choose exactly how much of the Dark Side you can keep in your life. Keep only those qualities that do not hurt you or people around you physically, emotionally or financially. I would not recommend to you to hold on to smoking or gluttony because these habits will only drain you in all senses. Choose your bad qualities wisely because you are a smart person after all.
3. Find innocent ways to satisfy your Dark Side. If you are trying to get rid of some bad qualities the worst thing that you can do is to eliminate them completely. Do not step over yourself but rather try to find a place for your Dark Side in your life. If you are trying to fight aggression or a bad temper then try martial arts, video games or occasional fast driving and smoking the tires on the car (that is exactly what my husband does to let off some steam ) If you are fighting procrastination then just allow yourself to have one slow day when you can procrastinate as much as you want (the best thing is to choose a day when you have the least amount of tasks.)
4. Have one “bad” day a week or a month. Allow yourself to be lazy, inconsiderate, stubborn etc. every once in a while and do not feel bad about it. My husband and I have Sunday as our lazy day. We do not have any tasks, we can sleep as long as we want (as long as our babies allow us to) and we can have dirty dishes lying in the sink all day long.
5. Try to be the opposite. Sometimes we experience the biggest revelations when we step outside of our comfort zone. It can be a good idea to try to be a totally different person every once in a while. If you are calm and passive by nature then try to be emotional and aggressive sometimes (express your thoughts loudly or try aggressive sports). If you are a leader in life then just relax and go with the flow for a while. If you are independent then try to rely on somebody and put your entire trust in that person (it can be good proof of your true feelings and a strong relationship).

Do you have your own “dirty little secrets” or bad qualities that you are not ready to part with? If you put a lot of work into becoming a better person and improving both spiritually and physically then you can still keep a few bits of your Dark Side without any regrets. Eventually you might get rid of that Dark Side completely and without any effort just because you gave yourself some time to adjust to a new YOU and to develop slowly. Keep your personal life balance between good and bad and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

Keep it balanced!

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